#amorphousblob

so, basically, our party is on a boat-- three of us actually bargained our way on board like civilized creatures, one of us threatened our way on, one snuck aboard in a crate, and one pulled an iconic "move, i'm gay" persuasion roll. so basically we all met aboard this ship.

now the captain was a very attractive man named Jules who Ephemere introduced himself to with the graceful, tactful, flustered "I'm gay"-- in his defense, he had a very sheltered upbringing and is very, very good at flirting to get what he wants, but not very good at dealing with anyone he's actually attracted to

Captain Jules is also gay, but claimed to have a partner

Ephemere pined quietly

after a while, a pirate ship was spotted in the distance, fast approaching, and raised flags thst indicate it waaas hostile. our crew was small, so Jules ordered them to prepare to flee and leave the ship behind. he didn't want to sacrifice any of his crew in a fight we couldn't win.

the captain of the other ship boarded us, and she and Jules had some apparent history. she explained that there was a bounty on his head. he tried to talk her out of it, but the money was too good.

Ephemere stepped in, charmed her (with a spell, because sometimes just 18 charisma isn't enough) and introduced himself as Crown Prince Ephemere Iridesse Artemisia Peralé Siwani, and promised her an even greater reward if she let them go-- and a great punishment from his family if she didn't.

She's charmed, but not swayed, so Ephemere attacked (breaking the charm spell-- which i forgot about. oops.) by trying to sweep her legs with his quarterstaff. iiiiit didn't turn out well. he lost his quarterstaff when she chucked it into the ocean. it was a very nice quarterstaff and i am very upset.

in the ensuing scuffle, our tiefling warlock was thrown overboard (and could thankfully doggy paddle) and after some pretty high rolls we came to find out this lady had some CRAZY armor class that we. could not. beat.

and Captain Jules surrendered to spare his crew and boarded the other ship.

Ephemere did not take this lightly, and sprinted across himself. busted out the breath weapon, froze a man solid, and shattered him on the deck. a very reasonable reaction to a crush on a guy you've known for a couple hours tops.

in spite of most of the party's best efforts to save him (our goliath barbarian even going so far as to try and grab him, but Ephemere is a slinky fella) Ephemere was eventually grappled, subdued, and taken down to the hold, and the ship gets away.

I mean, yeah, it’s kinda -- 

The author saw Jamie McCrimmon on Doctor Who, the time travelling Scottish piper, and then some fanfiction things happened in her head after she had some kilt fantasies and probably some self insert adventures and now she’s back in time with him and she can’t name him Jamie McCrimmon obviously, so the next least obvious thing she could do was just quietly borrow the first name of the actor who portrayed him, Frazer Hines.  

Annnnnd here we are.