#amor gitano

Ven y quédate conmigo

Sooooooo, I have a new obsession.

And it’s a 1999 Mexican telenovela Amor Gitano.

Do you like romance novels, dudes with Fabio hair, period yumminess, sexy gypsy violinists, reverse slumming, birth secrets, angst, and make outs? Because if not, I am not sure we can be friends.

Set at some point in the middle ages or renaissance Italy (the novela is not very clear and frankly, does it matter?), it revolves around a star-crossed love between a countess and a sexy sexy sexy sexy gypsy. Lots of things are against them - the class difference (do not worry, birth secrets to the rescue), the fact that the villain hates the sexy hero and wants to marry the heroine, the plague (OK, fine, I just added the plague.) But it’s nothing they can’t overcome through kissing and awesome hair. 

All that, and only 55 episodes. 

Final (and the most important) note. Earlier this year, I discovered and madly fell in love with Amor Real, a 2003 Mexican novela. The only thing that did not make sense to me in it was Adolpho, heroine’s noble first love. The novela’s makers clearly intended us to see Adolpho as a viable choice, a gorgeous and tragic and charismatic hunk of a man, who was going to lose the heroine, sure, but was supposed to win our hearts almost as much as the hero. We were supposed totally understand why she longed for him for so long even married to the ridiculously sexy Fernando Colunga. He even got his own arc and story that only sometimes involved the heroine. EXCEPT!!!! Adolpho was an unattractive, uncharismatic block of wood. The man was deadly dull to watch and was, to put it frankly, as attractive as a really bland piece of cheese. I thought it was a cosmic joke. When I found out that Mauricio Islas, who played Adolpho, was as big (or almost as big) name as Fernando Colunga at the time, I frankly boggled. How? Why? I just assumed I will never understand and moved on.

Except for the fact that (as far as I am aware) it does not have hero on heroine rape, I have never seen a telenovela as much as those amazing Kathleen Woodiwiss etc bodice rippers I used to devour. 

Seriously - this is amazing. It hits every delicious cliche so hard and I lap it up.

There’s hidden identities, amnesia, revenge, family secrets, vaguely period setting (mmm, Renaissance in this case), fake marriage (to protect her), heroine with no brain but lots of guts, hero with issues, reverse slumming (oh Holy God, this gives me a gypsy convict x pristine countess. Only he’s unknowingly a count whose family was murdered. THIS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED), evil secondaries, crazy drama, grand misunderstandings, GUYLINER. 

All this, and only 55 episodes. This is by far the shortest telenovela I will ever watch (but this was made in 1999 and there is a clear creep in number of eps over the years. if they ever remade it, it would probably 180 eps. Pls pls remake it btw.)

Oh, and the heroine is as crazy as she’s beautiful. And she’s very beautiful. She feels bad an innocent man was falsely condemned to life of torture on the Island of the Damned (indeed, that’s the name haha) because of something her brother did. Instead of shrugging it off or informing on her brother or whatever, her grand plan is to stow away on a vessel going to the island pretending to be a wife of one of the convicts to do - what? God only knows because she doesn’t. If this was real life, she’d get raped by the evil overseer (at best), but since it’s a telenovela, sexy sexy sexy Renzo the Gypsy, the very man she’s come to seek, speaks up to protect her and claims to be her husband,

OMG HAHAHAHAHA Their first kiss is straight out of a fanfic - the evil overseers don’t believe their marriage is real so they make them prove it by kissing. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Maybe ask them to have sex next pls?

P.S. That’s some serious enthusiasm, countess x convict OTP!!!!!!

P.P.S. I want to buy the chief overseer a shirt. Staring at his chest does nothing for me.

This video is a seven minute summation as to why Amor Gitano is a bodice ripper of my dreams. I have seen better telenovelas, but never one more designed to appeal to my tastes.

Also, Mauricio Islas in his gypsy convict get-up with that mess of hair and that guyliner and that feral stare is pure sex. Like - my hormones legit go haywire and I feel a desire to lick my screen. The moment he becomes a count or w/e and ties his hair back and acquires an upperclass goatee, it all evaporates. Like, he’s still a nice-looking man or whatever, but my lust is all gone. 

Renzo the Gypsy/violinist/convict/unknown count looking at Luna like he wants to eat her for breakfast with a side of channelling Fabio.

This is EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED!!!!!

We have fake marriage and now fake cohabitation and their taking care of each other’s wounds and heroine getting mad because he got mad at her so she wants to reveal marriage being fake even though her being married to Mr. Homicidally Sexy is the only reason she hasn’t been gang raped by guards so far (heroine has zero brain.)

Where has this been all my life?