“Nope. No way. Not a chance in he—”

“Tony,” Steve grumbles, frustration keening at the edge of his tone. “Be realistic, here.”

“There’s no way he’s mine.”

“He looks exactly like you looked at that age. Believe me, I’ve seen pictures.”

Tony frowns, stares down at the toddler—currently with half a fist shoved into his mouth—and watches those beady blue eyes the exact same shade as his own. He stares, and stares, and stares some more until…

“Nope. Definitely not mine.”

The kid’s eyes start watering and fuck no, he’s not getting anywhere near that. Tony takes an uneasy step back just as the waterworks start, joined by a blood-curdling wail. Steve frowns and scoops the kid into his arms, making calming noises as he rocks him, but nothing seems to lessen the shrieking.

“This is probably some super-villain’s way of lowering our guards!”

Steve levels him with a flat look, clearly unimpressed as he tries to comfort the screaming toddler. Tony has no idea what to do, no more than he had when Steve came into the living room with the brat, claiming some woman all-but-shoved the kid at him before barrelling down the street. It all sounded shady to him, but Tony had bigger things to deal with right now; like a screaming child that was probably waking half the mansion with that racket.

“Tony, just…I don’t know. Spend some time with him? I need to track down his mom, or whoever that woman is, and figure out what’s going on here.” Steve is holding that…thing out to him and—oh no. Now he’s using the puppy-dog eyes. Tony never wins against the puppy-dog eyes.

“Cheater,” he mumbles under his breath, taking the kid who suddenly stops wailing, stares up at him with a watery gaze. Tony is about to argue with Steve, about the launch the kid back at him with a quick toss, but the blond is already halfway to the elevator, mumbling about cleaning up Tony’s messes.

Okay, he might be a little upset by the whole ‘random-kid-out-of-the-woodwork’ mess, possibly more than Tony had picked up on in his panic. Now he sees the stiff line between his shoulders and the way his body moves with a little more force than necessary.

Yeah, he’s pissed.

So Tony lets him go, looks at the kid in his arms (who has just shoved half of Tony’s tie from the charity event that morning into his mouth) and frowns. “Just me and you, kiddo.”

The toddler coos in response and promptly punches a chubby, slimy fist right into his chin.

Awesome.

+

“Pepper, please.”

“Tony, I’m not a babysitter. I know I said for years that I had plenty of practice with you, but…”

“Ha ha, very funny. Pep, I’m begging here. Do you see the begging?” Even on the vid-screen, he can see how amused she is by all of this, her mouth pursed a little too tight as she tries to hold back a smile.

“Sorry, Tony. I have more important things to do. Like run your company,” she says, raising a brow at him. “Why don’t you just take this as an opportunity to take the day off and expand your horizons.”

“Don’t blame me when I start making baby-proof cubes and nanny-bots.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Tony.”

The call disconnects and Tony swivels his workshop chair around to see DUM-E—who he had tasked with watching the little hellspawn while he made the call to Pepper—holding an empty sky blue jumper. Tony blanches. “Buddy…where did he go?”

His answer comes almost immediately, hearing a thrilled screech followed by a crash. Tony’s eyes go wide and he palms at his face before scrabbling across the room.

It is going to be a very, very long day until Steve gets back.

+

Steve returns to the mansion just as the sun is pressing against the horizon. He expects the mess, the disorder, the chaos. What he doesn’t expect is Tony Stark, curled up on the couch with a young doppleganger curled up against his chest, both sleeping heavily. Steve can’t help but smile, despite his earlier frustration. He shakes his head, picks up a few ‘toys’ that Tony had obviously thrown together, and draws a blanket over the slumbering pair. Leaning down, he places a soft kiss just below the arch of dark hair on both brows.

“Sleep well, boys.”

This was the biggest break in her young career and all it took was one idiot with a pretty face to mess it all up.

“Pepper! Pep! Pepper-pot!”

“Not now, Tony.”

“C’mon, I just want your opinion on this one teensy-tiny thing.”

Tony Stark, at best, was annoying. At worst, he was a downright menace. Right now, he was something of a nuisance, hitting between the two ranges and irritating her just enough to earn a heavy sigh. “Look, Tony. I have more important things to do right now. Director Fury is missing and—”

“Oh, that? We’re already on it. Avengers Assemble, yadda yadda yadda. Piece of cake. Widow and Enchantress are already gathering intel.”

“What.” Pepper stopped, the click of her heels on the stone walkway halting immediately, while she stared wide-eyed at Tony. “Wait, what? No, Tony, we’re handling this! SHIELD is handling this!”

“Obviously, they’re not, or eyepatch would be back and harassing us just like he did last week.”

Tony was fiddling with his repulsor gauntlet so he missed the scowling-pout that sprawled across Pepper’s freckled features. She knew that’s what they were all here for, all these young hero recruits, but they were just that—young. They didn’t need to be putting themselves in danger, not when there were perfectly well-trained SHIELD agents at the ready.

But she could also see the stubborn slant of his grin, the flicker of excitement in his eyes. It made her feel jealous and excited and a little bit awed all at once.

“Fine, but if anything goes wrong.”

“Don’t you worry, Pep. We’ve got this. And maybe after,  you and me can get something to eat?”

“Not on your life, Tony,” she answered with a smile, watching the exaggerated droop of his shoulder and knowing he would just ask again tomorrow.

“Steve, you can’t be serious.”

“I’m completely serious. This movie is amazing and you’re telling me you haven’t seen it.”

That was a bald-faced lie, on Tony’s part. Of course he’d seen The Notebook, but he’d suffered through that once for Pepper’s sake and felt as though that had been enough for one lifetime. He just didn’t need every relationship to include his embarrassing reaction to that movie.

“You’ve already seen it. So why don’t we watch something we both haven’t seen?” Tony complained, reaching across Steve’s broad chest as best he could to try and reach the remote that was just barely out of his reach. He grunted, an irritated noise, when Steve leaned back and moved the device even further away, his face falling against Steve’s pectorals in the process. Not that it was usually a complaint.

“You watched that Star Wars movie with me last week, I know you’d already seen that one.”

“Oh my god, Steve. That was Star Trek not Star Wars. I don’t even know why I put up with you.” The look on Steve’s face seemed to say he’d made the blunder on purpose and Tony narrowed his gaze. “Seriously, I don’t think you want me pointed out all the blatant inaccuracies in a chick flick, do you?”

“Hm…” Steve pretended to ponder his options before allowing his lower lip to jut out in a pout. “You can’t watch this, just the one time, for me?”

“I’m beginning to think you’re actually evil under all that patriotism,” Tony grumbled, giving up on trying to retrieve the remote and settling against Steve’s chest instead. If he was going to be mashed up against all those sculpted muscles, he may as well take advantage of it. “Fine. But I’m coming down with a cold,” he sniffed dramatically, “so don’t blame me if you can’t hear over me blowing my nose.”

“Isaac, no.”

“But Teeeeeddyyyyyyyy~”

Teddy rolled his eyes skyward as the twelve-year-old hung off his arm, toes barely brushing against the boardwalk. Aaron was playing some sort of carnival game with Tommy, or at least he had been the last time Teddy saw them, so he was tasked with taking care of Isaac. From the beginning, Teddy thought it was a bad idea. The boys were a handful on a good day, and without a family member around to be strict with them, they often acted out to get exactly what they wanted from a sitter.

Which is why Billy had tasked Tommy and Teddy with the job.

“Look, you’re basically family anyway,” the dark-haired young man mumbled as he jammed his textbooks into his shoulder bag. “And I trust you guys to keep them out of trouble. I mean, it’s only a few hours. Just take them to Coney Island or something.”

Reluctantly, Teddy had agreed. Billy had an exam and his parents were out of town for the week, so it wasn’t as though there were a lot of options open to them. After all, Teddy was practically living with the Kaplans still, despite having his own place on campus, so the boys were used to them.

He wasn’t sure how good of an idea Tommy had been, but two pairs of hands were better than one when it came to dealing with the dastardly duo. Aaron had taken to lingering around Tommy like he was the coolest kid in school, trying to chat him up and maintain his attention. And surprisingly, Tommy was amazing with him, carrying on an excited conversation while they strolled along the boardwalk.

“Teddy!” Isaac was pulling at his sleeve urgently and Teddy had to resist the urge to roll his eyes yet again—if he kept doing it, he was sur his eyes would roll right out of their sockets.

“Isaac, for the last time, I’m not buying you another bag of cotton candy.” He didn’t need them even more hopped up on sugar than they already were.

When he looked down, the boy’s eyes were wide, brimming with unshed tears and fear. Teddy frowned and crouched down to his level. “What’s the matter?”

“Look,” he proclaimed, pointed out across the piers to the water, where a huge spire of water was gushing towards the dark clouds. Teddy felt his muscles stiffen, arm moving protectively about Isaac while he watched the movement of the water. It definitely didn’t look like a natural occurrence, and he wasn’t about to stick around to find out which super-villain of the week it was, not with the boys in tow.

“Let’s go find your brother and Tommy,” Teddy mumbled, keeping his voice as calm as possible even as he gripped Isaac’s hand, maybe a little too-tight.

Tommy and Aaron weren’t at the little ring toss booth Teddy had left them at. The whole thing looked abandoned, the man running it nowhere to be seen. It didn’t make sense until he saw the scorch marks along one of the benches, and Teddy felt his stomach twist in a knot.

“Tommy!” He shouted, hoping his voice would carry over the encroaching sound of rushing water. If he took to the skies, he might have a better chance of finding them, but with Isaac clinging to his hand he didn’t want to risk it. One wrong move and they might find themselves a target. So Teddy did what he could, what any human would do in the situation—he scoured the boardwalk, shouting for Tommy and Aaron at the top of his lungs, hoping that they hadn’t gone too far, that they were all right. He could feel his heart thundering in his chest and it made him uneasy to run over scenarios of what may have happened. Part of him trusted Tommy to do the right thing, get Aaron out of there if need be, but another part of him knew Tommy hated to turn away from a fight, even when it was the best option.

“Aaron! Tommy!” he shouted, hearing Isaac echo it at his side. If he hadn’t been so panicked about finding the other two, he would be feeling more than a little proud of how well Isaac was keeping it together.

Finally, after walking the length of the boardwalk and yelling out for so long Teddy felt his voice getting hoarse, he spotted them. Aaron was seated on a bench, knees pulled up to his chest and hiccoughing so loudly Teddy could hear him from a few paces back. He is all but jogging, as quickly as he can with Isaac at his side, to where Tommy is crouched in front of Aaron.

“What happened?” Teddy asked, letting Isaac clamber up on the bench next to his brother, offering muttered words of comfort.

Tommy looked up with eyes so cautious and frightened, Teddy’s mind immediately jumped to the worst of conclusions. However, if Aaron had been hurt, Teddy knew that Tommy would have taken him to the hospital, he wouldn’t have just plopped him on the nearest bench and called it a day, so it was something else. Tommy stood slowly and motioned for Teddy to follow him as he walked a few steps away from the bench, keeping close enough that he could grab the boys if need be.

“It… was kind of a disaster. People were screaming, this guy had a flamethrower or could breathe fire or something,” he mumbled, twisting long digits through his pale hair and giving it a tug. “We’re both fine, I got him out of there but… It was ugly. I’m pretty sure he saw something even though I tried to keep his eyes covered. Or maybe it was all the screaming, I… I don’t know.” Tommy looked like he was at a loss, his mouth collapsing into a tight line when he stopped speaking, looking back to the boys on the bench.

“Let me see if I can talk him down,” Teddy answered, putting his hand on Tommy’s shoulder for just over a second, giving it a tight squeeze. The boys had grown up in a world that was relatively sheltered, compared to Tommy, and it was obvious that the speedster felt little to no control over the situation. He was used to things blowing up in his face. Sometimes literally.

“Hey, Aaron,” Teddy murmured as he settled into a crouch before the pair, taking up almost the same position Tommy had occupied before.

The boy sniffled and wiped his nose along the back of his hand. Teddy managed not to grimace at the slimy trail that followed. Instead, he laid a palm gentle against Aaron’s grubby sneaker where it stuck off the edge of the bench. “I know everything seems really bad right now, and confusing, but I promise it’s going to be okay. We just have to get out of here, make sure to get somewhere safe. Can you be brave for me while we do that?”

Aaron watched him, lip still jutted in a pout, for a long time before he nodded. Teddy beamed at him. “Awesome. Now who wants to fly home?”

Both boys were staring at him with wide eyes. Isaac broke out of it first. “No WAY.”

“Yes way,” Teddy replied, already pulling off his jacket and feeling the stretch and pull of his wings expanding beneath his tee shirt. “One of you with me, Tommy? You wanna race home?”

Tommy took a few laps around the bench—show-off—before stopping with a huge, cock-sure grin. “You up for losing, Altman?”

“You wish,” he answered, tugging off his shirt before it got ruined and jamming both shirt and jacket into the daybag he had brought with them. Isaac and Aaron were still watching them with huge gazes, mouths open.

“I wanna fly!” Isaac belted out, clambering off the bench to stand in front of Teddy. He was bouncing on the heels of his feet, barely able to contain his excitement.

“Guess that means you’re stuck with me, kiddo,” Tommy mumbled, crouching in front of Aaron again. “But you know what? You get to wear my super cool goggles, so you’re gonna look sweet when we beat these losers back to the house.”

Tommy was holding out his obnoxiously bright goggles and Teddy didn’t miss the nervous twitch of his fingers. After a beat, Aaron reached out to take them, a smile spreading across his face. “Isaac, you’re totally going down.”

Teddy breathed a quiet sigh of relief, not sure how he would explain to his boyfriend that they took his brothers to the boardwalk on the day that villains decided to attack it, but as long as everyone got home safe, he was pretty sure it would be okay. He offered a quick grin to Tommy before grabbing Isaac and (to the sound of much complaining) wrangling him into a bridal-style carry. It was the easiest way to fly and not risk dropping him. “Ready?”