#amnerise

“You didn’t have to go through all of this for me, really.” Dave grins sheepishly as he catches sight of the buffet of food that she’s laid out for him. It’s three in the morning and all he wants to do is sleep after a long flight from Melbourne, but still, he appreciates his hostess’ hospitality. “I ate on the plane, but since you’ve gone through so much trouble for me---” He picks up one of the bread rolls and starts munching on it. Not in the diet, but who cares? “Thank you. It’s so nice to be back in New York again.” He plants a kiss on Amira’s cheek for her troubles.

“Anything else I can help you with, madam?” He can’t resist the sarcastic dig. He just wants to fucking sleep, for god’s sake, and the sooner she leaves him alone, the better.

            cheeks  blush  pink.  bravery  is  an  attribute  she  has  long  desired  for.  what  a  joy  it  would  be  to  leave  her  apartment  without  clutching  onto  her  cell  phone  as  if  she  expects  to  be  attacked  at  any  moment.  what  a  glorious  idea  it  would  be  to  no  longer  allow  the  past  to  haunt  her.  but  it  does.  johanna  has  accepted  her  fate.  the  eyes  she  has  seen  will  never  let  her  go.  if  only  she  were  not  so  weak.  then  johanna  could  be  brave.  though,  has  she  ever  been  brave?  a  sheltered  child  does  not  grow  into  a  confident  young  woman.  the  coming  of  age  movies  that  she’s  never  even  seen  lie.  she  is  terrified.  ❝  thank  you,  ❞  is  her  modest  response.  she  looks  away,  down  at  her  lap.  ❝  though,  i  do  not  know  if  i’m  that  brave.  bravery  is  .  .  .  ❞  fragile,  short-lived,  distant.  ❝  well,  not  something  i  believe  i  posses  often.  but  you’re  brave.  i  know  you  are.  ❞

THANKS!!

            the  invitation  is  a  dream  &  johanna  isn’t  quite  she  it  isn’t.  her  reality  is  simple.  sheltered  childhood,  leading  to  a  simple  life  outside  of  her  guardian’s  restrictions.  a  blend  of  school  &  work.  she  does  not  surround  herself  with  large  groups  of  friends  like  she  sees  others  do.  no  stereotypical  campus  parties  for  her.  school  already  has  her  exhausted.  she  sits  now  ,  having  to  arch  her  neck  to  look  at  amira  .  a  small  smile  as  to  not  dismiss  the  invitation  again  so  coldly.  ❝  i’m  sorry  .  ❞  she  is  willing  to  go  to  the  party  for  amira’s  sake,  to  keep  her  company.  but  she  is  left  to  wonder  why  amira  invited  her.  johanna  knows  nothing  about  something  like  that.  ❝  i  just  don’t  know  if  i  could  make  it.  ❞

            ❝  some  days,  the  ache  is  so  heavy  &  i  cannot  feel  my  fingertips.  ❞

She moved her piece on the narrow board. “Even to be a chämas is seen as only a skill useful in some circumstances and not all.”

            ❝  sorry  ,  we  were  going  to  do  something  today  weren’t  we  ?  ❞  johanna  does  not  need  a  mirror  to  know  she  visibly  looks  distressed  .  she  looks  away  .  ❝  sorry  .  it’s  just  .  .  .  a  bad  day  .  ❞