#amlify

It has been a while. Well, not a 'while' while. Pero I haven't been able to share what's on my mind. The week has been a long one. Akalain mo, nag-escort ako for SDO Bulacan noong Singkaaban. It was a good experience naman dahil being with Shara made it fun and better. Nagpa-tournament rin ako ng 3x3 sa intrams. Marami ring ganap. Haha.

Pero sa gitna noong mga ganap na iyon, nakapag-reflect lang ako and nakapagisip. May naisip ako kagabi eh. For whatever reason, hindi ko alam what made me go back and think. Siguro matagal na rin kasi.

POV shift na tayo.

Time spent with you has made me learn that I wanted a life with you. Lagi kong naiisip 'yon in the past. I thought of futures with you. Those were fun days, to say the least. Most of them, I really planned, at least sa isip ko. Those were the days na naisip ko rin na I would not be able to do the future with you. Totoo 'yon. Siguro dala na rin ng super emotional attachment. Iba rin kasi 'yong connection na I had with you back then. Hindi ko ikakaila 'yon. Kasi, totoo rin 'yon.

Time spent away from you made me realize na kaya ko naman pala ang wala ka. Or at least, kinakaya. After all, wala rin naman akong choice. I am happy naman to say the least rin. Pero I would be lying if I say na I wanted it to turn this way. Iba rin kasi 'yong appeal of having you in my life. Siguro nga, it was not really meant to be. Or my actions made it seem na it was not. Pero, sa totoo lang, I still think of you at times. The what could have beens, and what should bes.

Allergic ako sa Hipon. Pero gusto ko ito – literally, at figuratively.

Noong isang araw lang, nakakita ako ng meme tungkol sa hipon. The meme showed the irony of humans relating to Crustaceans. Na sa ipis na considered na crustacean for land, nandidiri ang mga tao. Pero sa hipon na considered as the crustacean for the sea, gustong-gusto ng mga tao. Plus, delicacy pa siya. Natawa ako noong Nakita ko ‘yon kasi totoo naman.

Masarap ang hipon. Seryoso. Kaya nga nasabi ko na paborito ko ang hipon in a literal sense. Anumang luto nito, favorite ko siya kasi masarap naman talaga lalo na kapag may patis. Kapag tinatanong ako kung ano ang paborito kung ulam, sinigang na hipon na agad ang sagot ko doon. Wala nang sabi-sabi. Masarap naman talaga. Ang kaso, tuwing sinasabi ko ito, may kasunod. Allergic ako jan. Di rin ako kumakain ng marami. Kaya magsasabi ako ng susunod na paborito kong ulam. Unfortunately, hindi na hipon. Allergic nga eh.

Gusto ko rin ng hipon – sa figurative na sense. There are things na we hold high regard of things that we remember things and people by. At sa hipon, meron akong ganoong experience. ‘Yong hipon, it reminds me of the value of sacrifice(?). Hindi siya directly attributed sa being ng hipon but the things that I associate it with. It was one experience. I am never good at buying stuff at the market. I don’t even go to markets noong time na iyon. Pero I did. I bought hipon, sa malayong palengke pa on a very early market trip. Maraming significant things ang naa-associate ko sa hipon. Kaya nga gusto ko ito, figuratively.

Comic relief moment. Yung nabili kong hipon, maliit para sa purpose nung may kailangan. Ang ending, bumili pa ng hipon na mas malaki. Buttered shrimp. Nagluto ng buttered shrimp. Haha. At least, ngayon, alam ko na ang tamang size sa pagbili ng hipon para sa buttered shrimp. Well, may lugaw moments rin noon. Pero siguro, sa isip ko nalang ‘yon. After all, it’s something I will always have on my mind. Always.  

I still think about the time

When it was about to rain

We walked around the violets*

Until our foots astrain

Now all I think is if you're fine

Even if it's not my lane

How your sight gave me butterflies

Far distant, twin eyes

Both twinkle, I see

Captivated, enchanted