#amighost

*You find an old photo of ASGORE. He looks happy.

(re: the old “which ut character would win in a fight” post)

dude this is a month late im SORRY HDFJFSJSFD

i feel like, in terms of sheer physical strength, it’d absolutely be asgore - i know toriel goes easy on you in her fight, but asgore is, well, the king of all monsters. plus his LV is definitely higher. has toriel killed anyone? we don’t know but asgore’s killed at least 6

but between these two it would almost certainly not be sheer physical strength

asgore is a very emotional fighter like he absolutely would not be fighting at his top strength against her, especially if she was fighting him for reasons he’s already guilty about like The Part Where He Killed Six Kids. really, if they’re fighting for any reason and toriel started it? 1) she’s gonna kick his ass, 2) asgore probably thinks he deserves it

*A big number but apparently not big enough for anyone to notice.

*The only one, besides me, who sees that is his brother and he STILL underestimates him!

*And why can’t he be in the royal guard?

*He would do a lot better than THOSE DAMN DOGS!

*Oh…

*I got carried away.

*Nine…let’s go with nine…

(2) The scientist succeeds to bring him back from the dead, which the boy must keep a secret, so he runs away from his sister so she'll keep thinking he's dead. The sister traps herself and some other people in a cave to plan revenge. The scientist is also secretely working on a bigger project, that for some reason emitts some kind of toxic slime. The scientist dumps the slime in the lake outside his labratory, and the water and all the plants that absorb the water get toxic as well.

(3) I want this toxic slime thing, the vampire boy's story, and the fact that theyre all mythological creatures to be connected somehow, but i don't know how. I also don't know what kind of project the scientist could be working on that emitts all that slime. Do you have any ideas or tips?

constablewrites: You could possibly make the slime the source of everyone's powers, or a byproduct of that source. Like a physical manifestation of magic or whatnot. As far as tips, I see a whole lot of moving parts here, some of them potentially contradictory. (How can someone who's already undead get resurrected again?) The more ideas you try to cram into a story, the less room you have to explore any of them with any sort of depth. So if you've got an element you like but can't make fit in the story, that story may not the right place for it. I'm a big proponent of your characters driving the plot, so if they're having to act in ways that don't feel believable in order to allow something to happen, your readers are likely to pick up on that dissonance.

Synth: Some questions to think about, because we here at script-a-world love questions to get the creative thought juices flowing:

When you say "their own modern society," is this in the sense of The Masquerade, where it's a secret society mingling with and hidden amongst the regular populace, á la the wizarding world in the Harry Potter books? Or have these mythologicals set up their own country that everybody knows about, with treaties and agreements with neighbouring nations?

What kind of vampires are we talking here? The Twilight sparklebutt? The Anne Rice sex-bomb? The Bram Stoker classic? A version inspired by some other vamp-ish mythological creature (because there are some really weird regional variants on blood-sucking/soul-draining creatures out there {see: leyak, penanggalan}), perhaps? Maybe there are a variety of different types of vampires? (I would, however, suggest picking one, mmmaaaybe two types, to keep things simple, unless it becomes a vital plot point that there are many subspecies of vamp.) Are your vampires born that way, or are they made? If they are made, is vamp-boy’s sister also a vampire? Are they legit related to each other? You say your vampire boy was killed and then resurrected, and from his need to keep his resurrection secret (why does he need to do this?), this does not seem like a normal state of affairs, so I'll guess his species is not the undead variety of vamp.

What other mythologicals live in this society? Only those that are reasonably humanoid, or can disguise themselves as such (e.g., vampires, succubi, incubi, panotti, shapeshifters)? Humanoid *and* the more fantastical, that couldn’t possibly hide amongst humanity, like a roc, tikbalang or chimera? If there are non-humanoid mythologicals, are they sapient, or more like wildlife? If they are non-sapient wildlife, how are they kept contained to the mytho-only areas?

This scientist guy, is he a normal human, or is he a mytho too? If they live in a secret society, how did he come to know they exist, and what is his interest in studying them/their souls? What was the purpose of bringing the poor kid back to life?

Why does the kid’s resurrection have to be kept secret from his sister, and why is she plotting a roaring rampage of revenge because of his presumed death? Does she know/suspect that the scientist had something to do with it? Why does she need to be hiding in a cave to plot? Is her desire to avenge her brother frowned upon by the other inhabitants? These people she has sequestered in the cave with her: are they willing accomplices or were they coerced into assisting her?

The vegetation absorbing toxins from this icky slime is perfectly reasonable. That kind of thing happens right here on Earth when poisons get into the ground and water and work their way into the food chain, although toxins produced via mad science and/or questionable magic could have much weirder effects than just “everything is dead now”. Is the slime a byproduct of one of his experiments-of-potentially-questionable-ethics-and-legality? Is it an intentional result? Is there no equivalent of the EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) in this universe to come along and go: “Dude, maybe don’t dump your gross goo in the water, hey?”

I agree with @constablewrites that you have a lot of stuff going on here, but I think if you plan carefully, you can make it work. But like @constablewrites said, don’t get so attached to a character or plot point that you can’t let it go if it doesn’t help move the story forward.

The vibe I get from the basic outline here is some kind of conspiracy/thriller/mystery tale. Maybe the scientist has some kind of personal grudge against the mythological community, and he plays on the vamp-boy’s desires in order to use him to further his secret anti-mytho vendetta. The boy’s death and resurrection were intentional for , and the toxic slime is played off as an oops byproduct but is actually the real goal because the scientist plans to poison/subdue/turn into mindless drones/etc. the mytho populace. Vampire-boy’s sister is the only one who suspects he’s up to something nefarious, and is out to prove it, regardless of how many people she has to go through, figuratively and literally, to get answers for her people and justice for her brother.

@amighost