#amialoneonthis

I miss doing what I love. I miss feeling like myself. How can I do the things I love and have money? Having hobbies and passions don't mix in today's world. I miss having dreams and being able to breathe without worry. I miss the ignorance of being young. Thinking my life would be full of non stop excitement. I'm still holding on to the smallest chance I get sucked into a fantasy realm where I'm needed to save the worlds and fall in love with the brooding ass of a prince that only has a soft spot for me type shit. Where I'm special, where I'm the only person who can help. Where I don't have to worry about all the shitty people in my day to day life working part time in retail. I keep writing stories and thinking before I go to bed how one day I could possibly have something amazing happen to me. I find a sword in a rock only I can pull out, I'm from a long line of magic people that are from a far far away place, stuff like that . I know it sounds impossible but deep down I can't let go of the hope that maybe just maybe .... I feel like if I do let it go and that feeling goes away I will have nothing . It seems stupid I cant help it . Am I alone on this? - 6.2.22

#allthetime #amialoneonthis #likeforreal #ewwwww 🙍🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😂 https://www.instagram.com/p/BlTu6DWBspi/?igshid=3wnxqwnq1x1f

So. I know that maybe not many of my followers will read this but I feel like writing this so idc. Do you ever get that feeling, when youre at home and everything is normal but you just kinda feel like shit? and then you start thinking about what couldve gone wrong and you think about how your day went and realize, it was a pretty shitty day. “but shitty days are normal, everyone has them” you think. And then you think about how almost every day is a shitty day for you but you dont want to tell anyone because youd seem whiny or attentionseeking. and then you get it. your “normal” day is fucked up. the “normal” day for you is ALWAYS shitty. so you got used to it. and you cover up with humor. and nobody worries. because you know, the moment you talk to anybody, its “Dont act like youre special.” “everyone has that” But you feel like not evrybody has what you have because the shit that you have is so fucked up that if you would explain it, nobody could ever look at you again. The people around you treating you shitty are “normal”. your household is “normal”. your life is “normal”. your mental illnesses arent real, they are “normal”. YOU are “normal”. FUCK.NO. this shit is normal, because i have to live with it on a daily basis. but it sure aint right. so you sit there. thinking. “what is wrong with me? why am i like this?” and then you get it. “everyday is a shitty day because i act fucked up.” and you try to fight the thought and try to convince yourself that its the others but its not. and now you have officially ruined your night. just like yesterday. and the day before. and the day before. its gotten normal.

That resemblance tho #leesoohyuk #leehyuksoo #soohyuk #edwardscissorhands #amialoneonthis? #okay

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