#amber post

ending this with a random question mark so ‘answer’ is enabled?

i’ve been working out semi consistently for the past two weeks, including running and HIIT. i did a jillian michael’s workout today and it was moderately easy but halfway through i just could not finish. i didn’t want to workout to begin with but i got up and i forced myself to put on workout clothes and do it. i did about 25 minutes of it before i just mentally wasn’t in it anymore. i wonder what the science is behind my lack of motivation. i wonder if it’s because i’m heavier now, if it’s because i’m 3 pounds over a mark i’ve never crossed before and if it’s just the extra weight making it harder. i haven’t felt in touch with my body in almost a year and a half and that’s the goal i’m shooting for now. it’s not even about losing weight; it’s more so about me getting back in touch with my body, knowing how my feet move and how my abdomen moves because that’s like an anchor for me. i probably will go on a run later tonight, just for right now, i’m not feeling it. i’m trying not to see this as a failure, but right now it kind of feels like it. 

officially started back up today. i didn’t really push myself as hard as i could have but i did that on purpose because i feel like i’m re-learning my body again. i actually had a lot of fun though and i felt like i got a lot accomplished. i did this workout by backonpointe.