Being an aromantic allosexual can be kind of sucky tbh cause you just want to have sex without a romantic relationship but everyone else wants both and they act like you canāt have one without the other, even if you go into it as a casual sex/friends with benefits thing and making it clear that thatās all you want and you wonāt go further thereās the risk theyāre gonna want āmoreā
Thereās the stereotype of aro allos going around getting laid all the time and spending every night in a different personās bed and thatās literally what I want and canāt have. Yes, gender dysphoria, depression, and anxiety are not helping either, but the last thing I want is a romantic relationship but no matter what i do, if i fuck around, thereās the risk of somebody wanting that from me. And if I donāt agree to it, then Iām āimmatureā and ājust using peopleā. I wish I could just tell people Iām aromantic and not have to tell everyone Iām not interested in relationships without explaining why. But some folks see that as a challenge. āMaybe if I just keep pushing, youāll make an exception for me.ā Because nobody can respect it when somebodyās orientation excludes them in some way unless youāre a heteroromantic heterosexual.
Damnit, why so romantic relationships have to be the standard? Why canāt I just, not do that without it causing me problems? Why is the subject of my love life the go-to small talk conversation (and do they have to assume Iām a straight girl every time)? Why canāt I just fuck without strings attached? Can I really not be allowed to live my damn life without somebody else wanting to be a massive part of it?
I went into this thinking about all this and wanting to make a positivity post to make myself feel better. Donāt get me wrong, I wouldnāt change my romantic orientation for the world. Iāll never forget the relief I felt, the weight removed from my shoulders when I found out aromanticism is a thing because the labelās very existence, to me, tells me that romance is not a requirement, that itās okay to never fall in love and itās perfectly fine to be alone if thatās what you want. Accepting my aromanticism is one of the best things I did for myself. But when I think about amatonormativity and how it affects me as an aromantic allosexual, I canāt think of anything good about being aro in this society. Just because I donāt have to bother with romance doesnāt mean that I wonāt end up stereotyped and judged for it or have people pressure me into it because why should I be allowed to decide what types of relationships I want?
I donāt want to date. I never want to date. I donāt want to lead anyone on. I just want to have sex without worrying about the chance somebody will catch feelings and not take it well when I say no. But why should the aro guy get what he wants? After all, heās a heartless sexual predator, isnāt he?
