#amarkov

Dysmorphia

24"x 36 "

If this piece stays half as much fun to paint as the sketching has been, I am about to have an absolute field day. (Painting is usually way more fun than sketching, for me.)

24"x 36"

Acrylic glaze, raw pigment, soft pastel, acrylic, spray paint on canvas.

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Notes:

Finally finished what I've been calling the Crying Painting.

This is the last photo/mental picture I have of my late husband before he died Dec 12, 2020, so this one is personal. It's not an imagined scenario to comment on the year or for attention.

It's part of my grieving, but I figured I wouldn't be the only one who'd understand.

Because people asked: You're welcome to share it if you want, including what it means to you, since I figure each person is going to take something else away from it and I hope it helps somehow.

The painting of the piece was for me - now it's for everyone else.

That's the power of art, really.

Also broke out my siennas. So I'm working with my full primary & secondary palettes for the first time in over 5(?)yrs.

I started this piece because I wanted a challenge. Because I wanted to push myself, see what I was capable of. Thought I was better able to work /through/ the frustration that comes up when I take myself outside my comfort zones.

Definitely getting that practice in. It's been a long time since I stretched this much.

Decided to do the scariest thing I could think of to prove to myself that I could, to undermine the doubt. That's how I decide what to do - what thing do I want that also scares me?

That's what this painting is. I sobbed just thinking about doing it, before the canvas was even unwrapped.

We'll see how it goes.

After a couple of years plus of not having the fucks to give about my website or the art world - it’s been a rough past few years - I’m getting my artwork back up and online. I’ve not found the files all yet, so it’s not finished. Even if I knew where they all were, it’d still be a few weeks. There’s a lot of art to dig through. Hundreds of paintings. 

I’ve gotten some prints available, while I wrangle with the gallery set up. 

There’s not much painting going on, but it’s a start, getting everyting back up. It’s a reminder to the sleeping part of me.