Out the Darkness to love & light...
It’s been a minute since I wrote anything, but these last few days all I have been craving is to put some words down. so excuse me if it makes no sense, is long winded or a little confusing. These last few years have been rough and I’m glad that in the midst of the worlds storm, 2020 has actually been the best year I have had thus far. Things have finally started looking up, but there is still a lot of work to be done within myself. Last night I had a strange dream, and although I don’t really remember the details what do remember is my ex from years ago whom I have not seen in about 5+ years was dating, and this is where it gets strange, my current close friend but her energy in the dream somehow reminded me of my ex-best friend, in the dream I felt a bit of jealousy but mostly abandonment which makes sense because her and I had fell off right when my life hit a rough patch and that was weird because I had ALWAYS been there for her. What I realized is during that time, due everything else that was going on in my life, I actually didn't deal with my biggest heartbreak and that was losing her and even though it has been a few years since then I’m gonna be honest it still hurts when i think about it so i try not too but that bitch really hurt me. Anyway I said all that to say the dream made me realize I may have some slight abandonment issues which is scary. so I’m gonna continue to try to heal the little girl within me. she needs me more than anyone in the world, I need to be her protector I need to pour all my love into her, and show her that its okay to care about people and if they leave its there loss not mine. That’s not to say I will not be holding myself accountable for the things I do that has been a hard pill to swallow but I am doing better with that. Maybe one day I will tell my full story. Remember to walk in love and light we must first experience and survive the darkness. Peace & love y’all.
