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In honor of aro visibility day I have to tell everyone to listen to the song Doing This from the musical Spies Are Forever. Actually, everyone should really just watch the whole musical, itās a blast and completely free on YouTube but this song especially is straight up comp-het/amantonormativity the song and a glorious deconstruction of every shitty shoehorned in romance plot ever. Itās wonderful.
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im taking a class on traditional African religions right now and there's a lot of stuff about marriage and child-rearing being seen as the ultimate purpose in life that everyone must partake in or be a failure to the community--a perspective that the sources I'm reading don't even fully endorse! its very neutral fact reporting. and im taking this class because i want to learn, and i want to be respectful of other culture's values, and i want to keep in mind that my concept of marriage from a modern american pov is very different than the marriage discussed here. but its still making me really really uncomfortable to read about. just... triggering the romance repulsion and nausea so badly.
Honestly the thing that first made me hate amantonormativity is the sheer number of times me and my bff (opposite agab from me, known each other since birth, closest thing I have to a sibling) have been assumed to be a couple. ESPECIALLY that awful thing adults do where they lowkey ship two actual living kindergartners. Why the fuck do people do that. Thatās gross.
Iāve been watching/reading a butt ton of revenge stories for one of my classes recently and itās made me realize something
We love to see characters get bloody bloody revenge for their murdered wives or husbands, murdered children, murdered parents, sometimes a murdered sibling
But I canāt think of a single murdered friend??? And Iām talking purely revenge stories, stories that are all about the all consuming quest for vengeance, not more broad stories in which a character is temporarily provoked towards revenge against and overarching bad guy
A murdered wife and child are enough to prompt a movieās worth of death and violence, but is friendship not enough??? The phrase ārevenge story where the motive is a dead friendā sounds odds and almost pointless because of how our society sees friendship as less impactful and important than romance and family. But if my friend got murder I feel like Iād be just as likely to crazy over that!
hewwo what is amatonormativity?
Itās like āthe defaultā romantic experience encompassing allosexuality, alloromanticism, monogamy, etc.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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sighs loudly over amantonormativity
maybe I should take up dating so someone is socially obligated to actually care about my mood swings and nurture me through them attentively
