Re write plan.
Here are some of the things Iām going to be changing/ adding to my momās story in order of the stories progression.
1- The beginning is too abrupt and not very descriptive of Amanda so Iām going to build up a little more to her fall and also allow the readers to get a better visual of what she looks like by describing that in more detail.
2- Iām going to add crystals that glow into the caves so that itāll be easier for me to draw and easier for the reader to understand how she could even see in the shrouding darkness that is described.
3- Just because I feel like it would just work with how confused everyone is about her, Iām going to make it clear that the vegetables have never seen a fruit or even know that there is an above ground area.
4- I think, with how clever Oliverās character is set up to be, that he should know fruits exist but only thought of them as a myth or extinct species. I might even have him take out a map that would help them if it wasnāt burned and illegible.
5- Iāve talked about Percy Pumpkin previously, I will add him in there too and change how the trio meet Paddy Potato.
6- The machine in the witchās hut is a little underrated and makes the witch seem like a mean old lady who just needs a hit from her energy chair every now and then rather than an cruel dictator. I think I might be a little evil and make the witch use the vegetables as her source of energy and thatās where the old vegetables have disappeared to. (which was never explained or resolved in the book lol.)
7- Iām going to touch more on Amandaās awakening/ legend because that was criminally brushed over in the book.
8- I might further heighten the climax of the story by making it out that everything is fine but in the last second Amanda is captured and strapped to the chair but in the end thatās what kills the witch and unearths the village.
9- When everything is over, Iāll have Percy return to his parents that were taken by the with to be used for energy, along with all the other vegetables that went missing, so that thereās a sense of relief and closure.
I feel really bad about having such criticism about my mums book but she doesnāt mind and agrees she kinda got tired at the end and maybe rushed things to get it done. She said she wrote a second oneĀ after this which was 100 times better the the original, which we do not have, so this is apparently not her best work. I still love the idea of it though. Itās a really cute story.












