#aly things

My lovely Fairy Elf Monk (Path of The Feywild), Alydriel! :>

She’s a lil bastard...

I have some serious jealousy and insecurity issues, which i acknowledge is really stupid and at least 90% of the time I’m just being paranoid

But I mean, when I’m calm and collected, I know I have very little to worry about.

I think I’m pretty, or at least cute. There are things I don’t like about myself/my body but overall I’m actually moderately confident in my attractiveness. In some situations I even think that I look sexy.

Even if I wasn’t attractive, I know that my boyfriends love me. It’s stupid of me to feel threatened by other people.

And, in fairness, most of the time I feel threatened not bcus I don’t trust my boyfriends to be faithful, but bcus I don’t trust other people to not try and undermine our relationships. But even then, I don’t really believe that their attempts would even work? Because who gives a shit about them, right? All three of us, I think, would recognize those attempts and be able to laugh at them.

Obviously this type of thing doesn’t function on a level of logic or reason, so it’s not like me saying “i have no reason to be insecure!” will make it magically go away. but like

I’m hot, I’m loved and I’m lucky.

with, yknow, certain specific people.

like. cooking. tidying, decorating, listening to music while making dinner while the....certain people....are out working or w/e. playing music or tv rly loud while i clean and stuff.

in fact, i try not to call anything i dislike “gross” unless i mean in it a literal sense. like. i will call yogurt gross, absolutely. but other than in situations like that, i try to keep that word and similar words out of it.

because that blames the thing I dont like for my dislike of it, yknow? if that makes sense.

like, okay, for example, I don’t care for Tenga/Yuta in Kiznaiver. But that doesn’t make it gross. By no fault of the pairing itself, I just don’t like it. I’m not about to blame the pairing for my problems with it, and calling it “gross” implies that the pairing is inherently bad, so I don’t want to do that. Even if I disagree with it on a moral standpoint for god knows what reason (no clue what that standpoint would be, but hey) I dont want to judge it or the people who like it on that front.

I mean, i see that shit a lot! “You ship x and this you are bad” or something. That’s silly and I don’t want to be that way. I mean obviously I’m human and I’m gonna slip into ridiculous judgmental bullshit like that sometimes but I’m trying really hard to keep it to a minimum.

but in my soul i know it's not worth it and i'm better off living the whole hippie-like "ignore those who anger me" lifestyle