#alwaysdoubletap

So chugged some hard ice tea and my dad was watching a werewolf movie downstairs so I came up with a poem because the guy wouldn't shoot his girlfriend and ended up dying. #privetdevotchka #AlwaysDoubleTap #happythanksgivng #youcantsitwithus https://www.instagram.com/p/BqdzR7wgkur/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ll3vhvogbf39

...but it's mine and I'll own it. I hate/detest/fear flies. I can't stand them. I find them horrifying. I had been lucky because for years I only had to deal with mosquitoes. I kill those without a second though... ...but flies.... *shudders* WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT THIS? RIGHT? Well, imagine this with me. Gigantic fly (because whatever you fear usually shows up three times the normal size for the lolz) sitting on the blinds. Staring at you. You have no clue as to HOW THE HELL IT GOT IN. You grab the nearest deadliest thing near you (in my case, a decorative pillow) and smash it. I didn't expect it to die, mind you... I expected it to fly around and land somewhere more solid... Like a wall, so I could kill it properly... With a shoe. But! It looked dead. Upside down, with its little legs crossed like it had died. So... I shrugged and kept reading. Would you believe... Five minutes later... THAT ASSHOLE GOT BACK UP AND LANDED RIGHT NEXT TO ME? I freaked out. Smacked it with the pillow again... As if that worked so well before, right? Went and grabbed my shoe and double tapped that sucker this time. Suppressing the scream I wanted to tell at the top of my lungs. I think it's dead but I'm going to flush the sucker down the toilet this time. To make sure it stays dead.