#alongnight

A million thoughts race through my mind tonight

A million different unique categories for each and every one of them

Sitting here

Music whispering softly through my headphones

Paired with a light shade of a soothing purple to calm my racing thoughts

A hub and mix perfection, anxiety, hyperawareness, school, sleep, gymnastics, her

All of them hitting certain spots in my mind

Soft spots that still need repairing,

Probably won’t sleep all that well tonight

Considering the caffeine I just consumed to soother my shaking hands

As I stretch out my legs

I prepare for a long night of self distraction

From the pressures and many daunting aspects of my fucked up life

Except for one

One very special fragment just for me

Her. 

Every Breath she takes in my mind 

Is comparable to perfection

She is the sun that creeps out of the corner of my 2nd grade painting

Oh how I hate to disappoint her

How much I despise that I care very deeply for her opinions and thoughts

No one has mattered to me quite in the way she has

The vulnerability she coaxes out of me is baffling

And how she manages to put up with me?

I shall never know the full truth to this quaint query

3/12/21

A date I will treasure forever 

A date I will never forget paired with a person I will never forget

Where my mind goes to on a stormy night

Who I think of when I am in desperate need of a savior

She is what gets me though nights where

A million thoughts perpetuate my mind.