#almostgoodbye

How's it gonna be?

You're graduating! Finally. I'm so happy for you but do you know my heart is aching? For now it's aching because you still haven't receive your precious diploma. You know that one special thing you spent gazillion of sweat, blood and tears for. That precious piece of paper that you can proudly show to the world you have well earned it. It's where the written letters indicate that you are almost there in fulfilling your dreams.

I'm so proud and happy for you. I'll be there when you are in your precious toga, walking with your batchmates and jittering to shake hands with the high ranking school official. I'll take your pictures for souvenirs. I'll shed tears of joy for you. 

After you'll leave the threshold of our university I will miss your company. Everything about you is I'll surely gonna miss. I'll reminisce the time we met. It was the first day of classes. I was a freshman and you were a senior. I have mistaken you to be a fellow freshman. Then we were classmates, well actually seatmates, in one subject. Everyday will see each other in that class. You will ask me out to come and have lunch with you at the canteen after class. I was happy every time you do that. I felt special. We became super close like you became the Kuya I never had. Thinking you as a kuya (brother) maybe was a defense mechanism for me not to assume too much.

But something was wrong.

When we're walking down the halls, the canteen and like everywhere in school. Everyone's eyes were following us. Yeah, it must has been the breathtaking looks you got I thought was the answer. You were a senior, a part of the volleyball team and a member of various organization. Unfortunately, someone had come and answered my question. I was upset that I didn't know for a fact that you were that so popular in school. I kept my distance but you insist to be always at my side. I told you to leave me alone but you didn't. You were so hard headed and you confessed. Shock is an understatement when you confessed to me. The most unexpected thing for my freshmen life was you taking interest on me. 

Did you know you took my heart away already when I have mistook you as a fellow freshman? You didn't embarrass me that time. You were so kind and cool. And then you smiled. Everything was just so awfully right that time.

However, you're leaving. I think I have become so dependent on you. You are like the air that I breathe. It is breaking my heart knowing that the time is near. Thinking about when I'll start missing you is just too painful already. I don't want that and never will. Might as well end this before I get hurt, right?