#allzeff

Like Shanks Buggy Mihawk and Marco still remember crossing the Cook Pirates Ship expecting to raid it only to get the best meals of their lives and for their captain to be missing for a few hours.

Then they meet Sanji and are like "oh no another one , this is gonna be the death of me and this one doesn't even know the sex appeal he has yet"

Buggy calls Zeff to tell him he should have taught Sanji about his other skills other than cooking because he's tired of watching men trip over themselves for Sanji only for him to no notice anything and Zeff assures him he has and "if he's not noticing it's because he doesn't want to notice , let the boy have his fun".

(inspired by OPLA and the fact that Zeff has definitely slept his way out of marine custody before)

I'm answering this because it'll be quicker than the others I'm working on and Zeff and Sanji's raw sex appeal is something that haunts me deep into my core tbh. Also I don't think Mihawk ever had a captain but at least one of his masters has definitely fucked around with Zeff and Zeff might be his queer awakening is so funny actually. Or just stumbling upon the captain half starved and pissed off. Either way it's funny.

Like Marco remembers seeing Zeff as a teen and Bay being older than him and forced to watch him is annoying for both of them buth there's some cheers from others around them. Calls of allied pirates or other. Marco looks at Bay who looks dreamily at the captain of the pirates and Marco chokes on his own spit when he sees the guy.

He's built like a shipwright, boots stained red and he's talking with the Old Man who is fawning over the man in a way he doesn't typically do. The visiting captain cooks and then disappears for a while, Marco eventually notices his is missing as well. Marco realizes when he's older what happens and asks his captain about it, maybe when he's in his twenties, only for the man to smirk and admit it was always a race between him and the Roger Pirates who could bed the infamous Redleg more. Especially because it meant good food too.

Buggy and Shanks sit with Scoppers eating some of the best food they've ever had while Ray and Roger were busy talking about strategy or something but they've been gone for a long time and every time they even think of going to get their captain and vice Scoppers stops them and redirects them. The food is sooo good though they don't really mind they're just kind of bored at this point. When they emerge again Roger might have a slight limp which he waves off the boys' concern about. Ray says he has to make a call and Zeff gives the brats treats before he leaves.

Mihawk finds the Baratie shortly after it opens and sees Zeff, now sans a leg, with a brat of his own who he swears isn't related to him. Mihawk blinks, remembers their first meeting and prays the boy doesn't end up like his adoptive father. Maybe he and Buggy share a drink at the bar when Sanji's like eighteen and they see him kick some unruly man in the jaw leaving his legs splayed wide and Mihawk looks to be praying as Buggy has his face buried in his hands.

"The world's fucked." Mihawk says after Sanji disappears into the kitchen.

"I hope he never makes it to the Grand Line. For the sake of all that is good in the world." Buggy adds.

Then Marco gets a call from Ace and he calls the other men. Panicked, asking when Zeff had a kid and if he knows what he's doing. Buggy and Mihawk insist he doesn't, unfortunately years of trying to get Zeff to explain or they themselves trying to Sanji to understand what he's doing have been a wash and Zeff always said he'd notice when he'd want to.

"Okay, well, I bet I can fix it." Shanks says easily over the phone. And he doesn't, the first photo he gets from Zeff shortly after the call and the news he's on Luffy's crew crushes all his hope immediately. He cries into a bottle of rum completely plastered about how pretty the cook is.

When the four of them meet up to drink they all complain about the oblivious cook and his trail of heart break, Buggy and Mihawk telling stories of his flexibility and power that make them all drool and Marco mentions the suit from Wano which makes them all ask for photos.

He shows up sees Sanji and immediately starts imagining him and Zeff raising him together in the Grand line. Maybe he gets rejected because Zeff "doesn't want to be a liability" with his missing leg , but still every year sometimes twice a year White Beard takes a small skeleton crew to the east blue to visit the Baratie for a couple weeks( one time he tried to stay 2 months and his crew had to come fetch him)

Can you imagine him sitting with Sanji, Zeff asleep on his shoulder, telling him about adventures and weird fish he found in the Grand line. Bringing them spices and exotic cookbooks from his travels.

Also Zeff is protective but he's not the tipe to mind when people fall in love with Sanji , White Beard on the other hand is threatening to chop hands and gauge eyes out.

Marco sees Sanji for the first time in the Grand line when he's 19 and White Beard is immediately "Absolutely not".

I can just picture him getting wind of Crocodile being into Sanji and just going "time to kill a warlord I guess"

Also the implications of the famous and feared captain of the White Beard pirates showing up out of nowhere are hilarious, he shows up and all of east blue is in a panic, turns out he just spends his time fishing and waiting around the restaurant like a puppy for Zeff to give him attention.

I love old man yaoi just as much as problematic age gap yaoi. So I'm here for Zeff getting a big strong man that isn't a marine. Men who are canonically like at least taller than him are all the better. Sanji would also call White Beard some variation of geezer like he does Zeff. White Beard calls Zeff his husband and is absolutely carrying his blonds to bed. Fight me.

White Beard looking over a paper as his kids and commanders are all talking or whatever and he sees Zeff in a paper. Having a restaurant and a child with him in the East Blue after Newgate was so sure his love died. "I'm going to the East Blue." He announces and gets a small crew together within a day as everyone is confused but listening. His crew arrives at Baratie and Zeff is confused as all hell and comes out and is hoisted by his long time lover he hasn't seen since the storm, maybe he forgot to call and say something after the rescue. But an emperor is at his door, and he's being held to larger man who is giving his thanks to the seas and the gods and the egg plant looks properly terrified of the newcomer. Zeff introduces them and Newgate is besotted by the new addition and is avidly listening to the love of his life tell him everything that happened and about Sanji. Zeff's son and now also Newgate's in a way. Not like his brats, Zeff would never allow him to raise Sanji up like that, but a well loved stepson. Because he tried, by gods did he try to convince Zeff to come to fleet with Sanji.

Zeff immediately disregarded the notion. He's missing a leg, the Eggplant is skittish of most men. All men, really, he even hides from Zeff when the chef gets too loud or pissed off, Newgate eventually finds. But either way they're staying in the East, they ain't fit for the Grand Line according to Zeff. So Newgate and Zeff are staring at each other.

"I would never think of you as a burden." Newgate tells him sincerely.

"I ain't going back, dear." Zeff pans at him and they stay there, White Beard holding Zeff.

"I've been meaning to take time away." Newgate grins eventually and Zeff is blustering back and forth about their respective responsibilities. This man is escaping to the East Blue any chance he gets. The love of his life is alive and now he has a boy!

Because picture Luffy talking about his crew to Ray and him being like "👀👀tell me more about this cook of yours" or "and you actually got him on your crew , we never managed that"

Also the idea of Marco post Vinsmoke reveal saying something like "God damn he's just like his dad" meaning Zeff only to have the Strawhats ready jump him.

Zeff: A handsome chef who's an expert in the kitchen and the bedroom and uses these to his advantage at any given moment and knows how to play every single fucking one of 'em like a fiddle. Sanji makes a face any time these stories or an old fling comes in to eat because it's fucking gross.

Nevermind he's oblivious to any attention given to him that might be similar be ah well.

Sabaody the first time Ray is staring at Sanji because he acts so much like Zeff and looks like him but it can't be. Nah, Zeff wasn't really into women like that. Shakky looks unimpressed at her husband until she also catches sight and yeah, okay. A night would be really fun for the three of them.

Then Ray hears about Zeff and Sanji from Luffy and Ray's imagination gets the best of him a couple times over the year and a half he trains Luffy. Then upon the reunion he looks at Sanji says he's just like Zeff and Sanji is confused. Ray has never been cock blocked so hard as in that one moment.

Then Marco sees Sanji in Wano, takes photos for the other degenerates that are Mihawk, Shanks, and Buggy. During one of the parties after the raid, after everyone is back together. Marco has completely forgotten about the whole Vinsmoke thing. Sanji just acts too much like Zeff and could only make things worse for the whole generation if he realized what power he held, unfortunately what falls out of his mouth ruins that whole idea.

"God, you're just like your dad." Marco says in slight awe about Sanji's flexibility and the way everyone, even himself, is lusting after the cook.

Mihawk patting Shanks on the shoulder because one time Marco pulled him aside when their visits coincided and his knees still get weak thinking about it.

Buggy looking at Crocodile in understanding Because Thatch and Izo had on more than one occasion exhausted a concerning amount of members of his crew.

Rayleigh reminiscing about being to tired to move, watching Zeff wipe overwhelmed tears of the corner of Roger's eyes, then getting a tender kiss on his forehead and sleeping for 12 hours straight.

It also wold be really hilarious if the people that could keep up with Sanji were the ones who you wold least expect.

For example, every once in a while Usopp and Sanjin disappear on an island for a few days and come back relaxed and fresh as daisies. (Usopp refuses to share any details besides the fact that it can only be a "once in a long while things" because he wold die if he did that all time , and they wold get nothing else done). It's not even a muscle thing they have been doing it since before the TS.

The family of horndogs with stamina to outlast most of the world is so fucking funny.

Mihawk listening to Shanks's plan with his boyfriend half his age and the knowledge that Zeff and all of the Shirohige are the same way just pats Shanks's shoulder and commiserate because whenever Marco visits are the few days that the swordsman does not get out of bed because his legs are done for. It worries Shanks that Marco does that to Mihawk. Now they are plotting ways to tire them out so they can walk the next day. They don't work, it's a disaster.

Buggy looking at Croc and praying Izou and Thatch aren't going to show up to wreck the crew like they used to all the time in the East Blue. There used to be a solid week they would plough through the crew and nothing would get done than trying to satiate those bastards.

Rayleigh looking at the Strawhat cook with Shakky and fondly recalling nights with Zeff where he and his captain would both have tears from the exertion and overwhelming feeling of the Cook captain. The man wiping tears from Roger's eyes before kissing them both good night and them both not waking up until near dinner the next day.

Also yeah, no one would expect Usopp to be the one to keep match with Sanji every once in a while but he has the 'good to go' from Kaya. It's not often but the cook and sniper will disappear on an island with a longer reset for logpose and then show back up better than the rest of them.