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Hey cis folks! If you’re out and about with a trans friend who shares your gender, offer to go to the bathroom with them.
In my glittering palace of privilege I didn’t even think of how anxiety-inducing it must be for my not-always-passing friend when we’re out in public for hours and they need to go pee. It wasn’t until my friend told me this that I realized there was a stop-gap solution until the world got kinder. I could go with her, even if I didn’t actually have to “go.” And she’d have backup. And if anyone caused a problem, I’d be there to be as annoying as fucking possible and run interference while she did her business and got out.
So now, any time we meet up somewhere public, even if it’s just a quick coffee, I always ask if she wants to hit the bathroom before we leave. It’s such a little, silly, thing, but she’s said it makes a difference in her willingness to even accept invitations to go places.
Maybe your trans friend doesn’t feel the same way, but maybe they don’t feel comfortable enough to mention it and you offering would be a relief! Doesn’t hurt to ask.
"Phobe pt. 7/8"
I am so embarrassed for Tiff right now. She needs to know when that's not appropriate.
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Knock-Knock. Who's there?
Queer people and allies.
Queer people and allies, who?
Queer people and allies who exclude Ace people, Trans people (especially Trans-Women), Bisexuals, Straight-passing queer relationships, or anyone else under the queer umbrella are fighting a war against queer liberation. The path to acceptance cannot begin with exclusion.
"Why is there straight people at pride???"
1. Fellas is it wrong to support your queer homies
2. The closet
3. Ah yes, queer people look one way and straight people look the other way, this totally isnt a damaging and nonsensical way to think by the way. Gender essentialism be damned. You did it! You defeated homophobia. But seriously tho you must looooove profiling people

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Happy International Asexuality Dayyyyy! I stand with you~
As a reminder that good exists out there, a coworker recently confessed to me that he found out his child is questioning their identity (kid's gender redacted for this post). The kid is keeping it from him, so he can't say anything to them or show that he knows, but he's doing his best to get mentally prepared and educated so that he'll be ready whenever his kid does feel comfortable enough come to him.
For context, this guy is a big, bulky middle aged dude who loves sports and typical outdoor "manly" activities. As his coworker and friend, I know he's a kind and sweet teddy bear of a person, but his kid probably views him as a stern, authoritarian figure, the way most teenagers view their parents. His family lives in a conservative area, so I'm sure between that, their dad's looks and interests, and the fact that their dad is a Figure of Authority, the kid is worried that they won't be accepted.
But you know what? When he found out about his kid, the first thing he did was reach out to his closest queer friend and ask for resources for parents of questioning children. His biggest fears are that his kid will be bullied or discriminated against and won't feel comfortable enough to be themself. His second action was to find himself a mentor in another parent who went the same situation (kid coming out in a conservative town). The other person is preparing him for some of the struggles his kid may face and the fights he may need to take on as a parent to make sure his kid is safe and treated well.
Something I want to emphasize for people focused on language as the primary method of allyship is that when we spoke, he used some outdated terms and thoughts about gender and sexuality. That does not make him bad. These were the terms and thinking used about questioning teenagers when he was growing up and he never needed to learn more current ones. But now that he does have that need, he's throwing himself in head first because that's his kid and he's darn well going to make sure that his kid feels welcomed and has a safe place to be themselves even if they never come out to him.
can you talk about some small and big things that people can do to be better allies to Jews right now?
Thanks for asking! That alone puts you ahead of a lot of people who’ve gone quiet or gotten weird: