#allyangel

Its a quiet night 

I sit at the table

Then you barge in 

Your mood noticeably unstable

I hear the anger in your foot steps

I brace myself for whatever may come 

Your words

Your Fists 

Your manipulation 

Your horrible way of calling me scum

I try to stand firm 

But you bound to the corner

And suddenly the table flips over 

You grab me by the throat 

And throw me to the ground 

And all this happens without me making a sound 

I twist and turn 

My thoughts I try to gather

My head hits the ground so hard 

My sense of direction is shattered 

When I finally gather my bearings 

I notice only one thing 

Not my bruised and bloody arms 

Not my wounds new

I notice a shadow over me 

You 

You’re carrying something with you

When you turn I see a glint

Then I feel a cold sting against my neck

A cold hand joins it with a firm grip of my arm to my back

Then I feel your hot breath against my ear

As your once sweet voice reminds me

 Of every mistake

Of every Scar

Of every Fear

I’m scared and weak but I still won’t let you win 

I remove the knife from my throat with a strategic spin

You take a Jab at my chest

but I block with my wrist

But in making that move 

My face is met with a fist

I collapse to the ground 

Crying in pain  

Your fist and my clothes

My blood and tears stain

As I lay there defeated

Bleeding

Sobbing in sorrow

I sit there and wonder 

if it will be better tomorrow

maybe if I act like it never happened

maybe if I try to stay happy 

Put on my usual mask

But then to my horror I remember 

You’ll never leave me alone 

My horrible horrible