#alkelda

Look at my flower.

It’s Alkelda! But a bit different… Or rather, not different anymore? It’s the original concept of Alkelda before I used her on other things and the limitations of modern video games (you can’t make plant people in most games with “great character creators”, unforgivable) forced me to make her into Other Things.

Lampadias are known to be highly graceful, highly reclusive, and highly carnivorous. Alkelda in particular is highly curious, however. Pray your tales, trivia, and anecdotes are interesting enough to sate her appetite if you find yourself cornered in the woods, or your limbs will have to do the trick instead. A Lampadia’s petals tend to be white to signify they haven’t eaten in a while, pink when sated, and a vibrant red when food has been abundant. Purple isn’t a common color, but it’s rumored to come from “gourmet” meals, like dragons. That’s just a rumor, though… Right?

“Yo where’s the whole dragon that used to live here?”

Alkelda: :)

If you glanced at Party Finder at all yesterday, you might have noticed the numerous parties formed to take on Cape Westwind one last time, as a last huzzah, the final send-off to everyone’s favorite mulligan of a roulette meme, with various rules attached. Some of these would be regular runs, but others would spice things up, being minimum iLvl and no echo runs, to truly send him Ritalin off to the greener pastures of single combat, Cape Westwind EX, if you will.

But there were yet others who took it one step further, who wouldn’t be satisfied with an Extreme clear, no, these swashbucklers of intrigue, these gladiators of furore unmatched, of pulchritude and sagacity wanted the highest honor in all fourteen of the fantasies that near finalization: Cape Westwind Savage.

Cape Westwind minimum iLvl no Echo no gear weapons only.

Eight nudist neantherdals bared their chiseled, battle hardened bodies against the magitek of the empirer’s finest shield.

And thus battle was joined! 

Bone and sinew clashed with steel and ceruleum, the battle to close the curtains on an enduring legend, acta est fabula!

But... It wasn’t easy.

Ritalin truly is the mightiest soldier, Gaius’ shield, nay, his walking, breathing fortress!

His Shrapnel Shell shreds through Gladiators and Marauders alike with ease! WInds of Tartarus pose much peril for fragile Rogues and Arcanists! Naught a Thaumaturge nor a Conjurer can dare to withstand his mighty Drill Shot! And the less is said about the dreaded potency of those Magitek Missiles, the better.

But what our heroes lacked in garments, they made up for in sheer valor.

Countdown after countdown, ready check after ready check, these perfect specimens broke their bodies against Ritalin’s mighty shields once and twice and thrice until... Until...

...The shields could withstand no more, and they cracked beneath the nude might of these peerless exhibitionists.

And Gaius’ Shield was no more.

Hark, lo!

They who shed their impure raiments embraced with victory intimately, branding unto their very essence the lipstick of glory forevermore!

Thus ends the legend of Ritalin, pierrot of Cape Westwind, and the eight Menaces of Light who sent him off to better pastures, where he will have many friends and a lot of space to run in.

Top Wanted Eorzean Troublemakers spotted in the Circles of Asphodelos popping Heavenscrackers mid-rotation while telling the Sage to adjust! Wanted Dead or Alive! Reward: 60 Bozjan Platinum Coins.