#alisaunder

Sunki and Alisaunder

tragedy doesn’t end, tragedy feeds into itself and blossoms like squalid roses on the ruins of what they should have been

begins small -- Alisaunder leaves him behind, Alisaunder forgets him, Sunki resents him, Alisaunder can’t protect him, the worse things get the wider the space between them becomes, two children from a broken home who hurt each other -- then it’s a thing worse, it’s broken promises, it’s outright betrayal, it’s not having the decency to kill each other, it’s leaving each other bleeding -- then it’s bigger, it’s back-stabbing that’s engulfing the whole kingdom

she’s the eldest child, the first one he ever held

he wants to protect her so badly

refuses to engage to her to anyone as a toddler

when she’s a young woman, he refuses to wed her to a man she doesn’t like --> but he has no idea what she wants and if he asked, she’d lie

Flavia definitely lies the most of all the children, and that’s a trait that’s partially inherited from Alisaunder, partially created through reaction to a passive aggressive atmosphere in the [harem]

Flavia is a lot of the best of Alisaunder and Dionora

Alisaunder’s sense of justice, the automatic instinct to care

Dionora’s empathy, her gentleness

Alisaunder’s self control with Dionora’s caution

And the worst

Too Responsible For Her Own Good 

they have very few opportunities to organically come together

Flavia isn’t in the military spaces he occupies, and she doesn’t force herself into the governmental spaces either

she falls into the category of people who don’t cause trouble, ergo Alisaunder easily overlooks them

of all of them, she’s the child closest to viewing him as a real person

she’s the child who’s most critical of him

but not openly so this falls into occasional passive aggressiveness instead, and Alisaunder just sort of retreats before it, because the only way he knows how to respond to that is with cruelty

her coolly withdrawing is also a bit of a defense mechanism because it hurts that he connects with her less than he does with Flavia and Leo, she feels rejected

she’s also the only child who actively worries about him

both angry people with a naturally martial bent

both charismatic, bold, fierce

a certain level of entitled arrogance

Fight Me™

both gay

I think Alisaunder probably clues into this before Thessaly does

he tacitly doesn’t broach the subject of marriage negotiations and throws his weight around to shut it down whenever anyone tries to put it on the table

he never comes out to her, but I think she may find out after his death

she’s the only one in the family who isn’t a little bit afraid of him

she does want his approval just as desperately as the other children, but she’s the one who definitively receives it most frequently

because she’s the one who asks for it most aggressively

both were very high energy children

she resembles him a bit

not so much in stature, because she’s significantly shorter and less bulky, but certainly in swagger

she has his strong jaw, his nose, the same dark, reddish gold hair (and kept in a similar style), her eyes flash in the same indomitable way

a lot of their differences come from the fact that they were raised differently

Thessaly has much better self esteem

Thessaly is more aggressive, has less of that iron self control which characterizes Alisaunder

she’s more sheltered, and I think this makes her stronger

both are very immediately willing to fight

for both it comes from a place of being denied

but it’s...different, in small significant ways

Alisaunder genuinely enjoys spending time with her

loving her, and thus loving the parts of himself reflected in her, makes it much easier to be kind to himself

sometimes he likes the way she looks at him, sometimes it makes him deeply uncomfortable, because he has to wonder when such a bright, inquisitive, child is going to see through him

sometimes they escape Dionora together

he can tell that her relationship with her mother is strained, he’s conflicted because partially he’s smug that Thessaly likes him better, partially he feels that maybe he should do something but has no idea what, it’s another level of awkwardness added to his and Dionora’s relationship

but he certainly empathizes with having trouble with your mother, and this leads to him mostly enabling it

she’s vaguely smug that her father likes her better than he likes Dionora--maybe a tiny bit of that Elektra complex to pair with Alisaunder’s leanings toward Oedipus

she’s not consciously aware of how they’re all vying for Alisaunder’s attention the way Leo and Flavia are, but on a more subconscious level she does know Alisaunder’s attention is a competition and she is winning

she’s afraid when she tells him she’s taken a female lover, but it’s not a fear of what he might do to her so much as what he might think of her, which is an important distinction

Alisaunder has always loved her for everything that she is, this does nothing to change that

he’s so fiercely protective of them

they all desperately want his approval

Alisaunder has no idea how to communicate with them, which is frustrating for him

he’s perpetually afraid that he’ll hurt his kids, and this really cripples his relationship with them

he’s aware that they’re somewhat afraid of him, and it’s kind of heart-breaking for him

he’s trying very hard not to fuck them up the way his parents fucked him up, but -- he doesn’t know how, there’s not really a positive example available for him and all of Alisaunder’s instincts are shaped around warfare

almost everything he says to them comes out like an order, because that’s how Alisaunder talks

Alisaunder finds it easier to interact with his daughters than his son

he’s less afraid of damaging them

his children’s differing relationships with him very much informs how they’re able to interact with each other

“Father said so” is like, the ultimate power play in any argument between them

it’s difficult for them to talk about him between themselves

the power dynamic is such that it feels weird for them

plus he’s such a massive, pervasive, presence in all their lives that it’s like...how do they even broach the topic? It’s like talking about death, or gravity maybe

and there’s a tiny uneasiness over the fact that Alisaunder seems to know everything, so would he know if they talked about him behind his back???

Alisaunder doesn’t want to ever give any of them the awful burden of the crown

Alisaunder retreats before them in a way he doesn’t with anyone else

not even Set

a big theme in this is that he paves the way for them

Alisaunder ends up accepting his fate as the eldest child, Flavia determines her own destiny

he’s never out, Thessaly rules with a queen

he’s caged by hyper-masculinity, Leo gives up his male birthright

like he walks into his love for Alisaunder with eyes wide open, deciding with every step that he’s not turning back, that when Alisaunder says I need you he’s going to say I know/I will/I want you as much as you need me 

she loves him--like, from the night they first meet, she’s in love with him

Dionora has been betrothed to him since they were toddlers, and all she’s ever heard are stories. Some are dangerous, some are cataclysmic, some are obviously false, some are beautiful

Then he’s there and he’s breathtaking

He’s tall, and he’s golden, and he’s a thousand times better than any of the stories could ever be

Alisaunder was never going to like her, he went into this marriage bitter and resentful and coldly courteous 

Dionora was foisted on him by people he hated, to be part of role he never wanted

he has absolutely no attraction to her physically

Dionora knows (the confrontation w/ Set is the worst moment of her life, bar none) but marries him anyway

she thinks this is going to be worth it

and anyway, she doesn’t have it in her to break the contract

They have very few honest moments in their marriage

the immediate aftermath of Thessaly’s coming out (for lack of a better word), when Dionora quietly says that if you love someone, you love them for what they are, and Alisaunder is like wait

when Dionora says that she thinks she maybe deserves better, and Alisaunder responds along the lines of “You do deserve better. This kingdom deserves better, our children deserve better. But unfortunately for all involved, I am all there is.”

Dionora never stops thinking it was worth it

for years and years, she thinks that this broken sham of a marriage is worth it because Alisaunder is worth it

this changes into thinking that her daughters are worth it

Alisaunder warms to her after their daughters are born

to his credit, he never resents her for not bearing a son

but he never loves her, not even as their receptacles

There are other love stories here that are wilder, and more tempestuous, and vaster, but Dionora’s is the great, unconditional, unselfish, unrequited love--this is the well where the corpse of love sinks

though then again, maybe there is something selfish about it, because this outpouring of unwanted adoration is...not self-flagellation exactly but an embrace of misery which allows for near-total passivity

from an alternate point of view, it’s extraordinarily noble. In any case, very few others have proved as constant

They never really get to know each other and connect

Alisaunder tends to forget about her

he quietly finds her boring

his awkward attempts at kindness just...don’t work well, because he has no idea how to be simply kind

Alisaunder alternates between guilty/angry/resentful over the state of their marriage (the dominance of these emotions progresses as angry --> resentful --> guilty)

“hey you want to go out with me”

“let me think about it and consider it”

-two hours later-

“I’ve thought about it and yes I will marry you”

is.....not inaccurate, when it comes to how their timeline?

Alisaunder stays at her Lord’s house

Notices the bruises, Leonora’s demeanor, the general vibe

Makes a judgement call

Kills everyone in the keep

Leonora flees through the forest

Alisaunder chases her down

Traps her against a tree

Gives her his horse

Says she can take it and go anywhere, or his camp is in the next valley

Leonora stalks his tent for a few hours

Shows up in the doorway

Gives him the sultry eye

Flees through the forest

Alisaunder chases her down

Sex against a tree

Alisaunder has a...surprisingly avoidant personality

Avoids dealing with his attraction to Set/men for several years

Avoids a civil war/assassination attempt on his father by avoiding the real fight by taking his forces to remote military outposts

he picked this personality trait up from his father, actually

their relationship was screaming matches --> avoidance when it became clear that the next step was physical confrontation, which Alisaunder would win --> civil war, which the kingdom would lose

Avoids the fact that Sunki is out there

Avoids the fact that Melek (?) is out there

Avoids Set when he’s trying to be a Good King and be faithful to his wife

Set ensures this fails

Avoids Dionora for 80% of their marriage

Avoids politics between the queens

this does not help the politics

Avoids the inheritance question

Avoids dealing with Kleitus’s conspiracy

Avoids dealing with Kelitus and Iona’s affair