making the post because the post has to be made (this isn't a donation post or anything lol). i am being forced out the country (Sweden) during my half term (October, and it can last longer than my half-term, no guaranteed time), this is because I immigrated here with my family from England as EU-citizens and then continued the process as non-EU citizens due to Brexit (EU citizens can come to Sweden and start the process there, non-EU have to start it in their country). Our process has been lost, messed with and ignored multiple times despite the EU problem due to the fault of the government and it's genuinely been a racist nightmare (an immigration office worker refused to work with the English government and disregarded his own duties in his work with no punishment from higher-ups and told us - direct quotes- "that's not my problem." when told he wasn't doing his job right and stopping us from integrating).

We've been able to push for long enough for them to say they'll review our residency permit application, after EIGHT YEARS of trying, however, we cannot be present in the country during the decision. It's stupid and moronic but we can't do anything about it, so the idea is to say in Denmark or if it takes too long, go back to England. we have no guarantee we'll be accepted either, but this is already special treatment. this just means that my blogs and sideblogs may be slowed, i'll still be here probably wrestleposting and all that, but my art blog and ID blog may dwindle in content for the period as it means I'll have to be educating remotely and possibly taking a forced gap year (meaning I'll have to get work). it's just an explanation. sorry if I'm agitated or less sociable, this has done a major tank on my mental health. - algae

[PT: doing @radiomogai's experiences event yippee - day 1. End PT]

!! warning, I yap for very, VERY long and I might have ran with the question bare ass to the world and forgot a little bit about the fact the question didn't also include "what is your identity?", sorry radio <\3 !!

The first question of the event was; “How do you organise or categorise your identity? If you don’t, why don’t you?”

I think this is a pretty fun question :3! Identity and labels have been a big interest and hobby of mine for years, and I’m an avid collector with a big complex system about how things should work and what I am in context situations. This means I have a big complex system of how to categorise my identity, I say categorise because I don’t organise it physically, as every time I’ve tried to build a coherent hoard, I fail miserably. (I don't really touch up upon how my systemhood affects my organisation because it pretty much boils down to; sometimes I doubt myself and then realise someone else is in front with me and that's why.) I'll touch on how I categorise my identity dependent on who I talk to; now.

First is the identity I show to people in general, even though it is absolutely not my preferred. I am not out to most people about my transness, however, my sexuality is something I am more open about. I label myself more outwardly as my assigned gender at birth and bisexual.

Next is one I show to friends, which is a mix of things. I am a trans man and I count myself as omnisexual, and use he/him. However, that’s the most I say to people who are not very interested in labels or very aware of labels.

Then I have a still quite general identity but for people who actually know me for longer, or understand more queer identity. I classify myself as a non-binary man who is both monogamous and polyamourous, omniromantic and bisexual. I use he/it and specifically never they/them. With certain people will I mention my use of the term “butch”.

I used to identify very strongly as a lesbian, turns out this wasn’t really the case but I became very comfortable in one specific part of being a lesbian which was being a butch. This word encompassed everything about my identity in a very comfortable way and therefore I found myself nervous when I wasn’t able to use it anymore, as I was told it “wasn’t allowed”. It took me years of reading old queer history and the sorts to realise, “well, all the queers before me did it, and they were fine,” to finally permit myself to use a word that is intrinsic to me. This has also lead me as a trans man to date a lesbian, and have no problems regarding it in that relationship, as I was still a butch. She respected my identity as a man and as a butch simultaneously and even while the relationship ended, it helped me discover quite a bit about myself and the word! Being a butch is its’ own specific term for me, its’ own category, and that’s why I mention it now.

Now, for this next part, I’m not gonna list every single term I have ever and do use, because that is simply just… not possible. I’m not panidentity (encompassing all identities) but I’m pretty damn close to it. Words are fun and I love them, therefore seeing words and terms and labels makes me excited, I attribute it to my autism. Not only that, but being alienated at young and often feeling “other” due to a lot of problems, means I find myself adopting term after term and categorising it. A general thing I call myself, in this usual order (order is very important for me); a transgender non-binary butch man who is biromantic, omnisexual, ambiamorous, pleonotic, hypersexual, fictoromantic, fictosexual, vallisromantic, vallissexual, objectum, intersex and a MOGAI foxfreak.

"… wow that is a mouthful, what does all of that mean and why in that specific order, Charlie?" Glad you asked!

I'll tackle the order question first, as it's something I actually have a good analogy for! My identity works similar to math (sorry, I'm a nerd), addition questions can have their numbers swapped around but the output will be the same. 2 + 1 and 1 + 2 will always equal 3, however, with subtraction questions, this does not work; 2 - 1 equals 1, and 1 - 2 equals -1. I categorise ALL my terms by this system, including the ones not mentioned, if a term is "addition", I can add it onto my identity in any order. If a term is "subtraction", I need to keep it in the same order each time.

My "subtraction" terms in the example above are; "non-binary butch man", "biromantic, omnisexual", "vallisromantic, vallissexual", and "foxfreak". My "addition" terms are the rest. I sprinkle them in either between or at the end of my description (yes, I know this would affect an actual equation, good thing MOGAI doesn't follow math rules :3). The only term in the example that differs is "non-binary butch man" as that always will come first, as a base. Sometimes certain terms feel like they fit neither, but either accentuate another term (a "multiplication" term for me) or even undermine another term (a "division" term).

Next is, "What the hell do those words mean, Sans?" And more importantly, what do they mean for me? Easy! I'll go in order of the example just after I talk about one term I think a lot of people will not know, pleonotic.

Pleonotic is a MOGAI term, one I actually only recently discovered image describing for Radio! Pleonotic is described by its' coiner (@/imoga-pride) as; "People with identities separated from their synonyms and pleonasms, often leading to not identifying with the gender-affirmative perspective of associating them all as the same. Examples: being a boy but not a man; being a gal but not a girl; being a male but not a dude." This explains me perfectly, I'm a man but often avoid the term boy, I don't see them the same. I'm male but not a boy, I'm a guy and a dude but not a bloke (I'm British, jumpscare) or a lad. I'm also non-binary, but any other synonyms rather than just the word non-binary is not me. Hell, I even use this for "freak", I'm a freak, not a weirdo (unintentional Radiohead reference).

Now I feel like I can talk clearer!

I'm transgender specifically (pleonotic) instead of trans, I may use the term sometimes but "trans" doesn't really encompass me as well. I'm a non-binary butch man instead of anything like demiboy as both my maleness and non-binary-ness (?) are separated and sometimes I feel one more than the other, the closest I can explain this with common terms is like bigender (two genders at once), but not exactly. I've already touched on the butch aspect. Biromantic means I have romantic attraction to two or more genders, for me; men and women, can be non-binary too but not inherently. Omnisexual means I have sexual attraction to all genders but with a preference, I find my preference alternating but I don't have a term for that, so I just say omnisexual with alternating preference! (Please send me a label for this if it exists!). Ambiamorous simply means I can be happy in both a monogamous and polyamorous relationship. Pleonotic I have described already! Hypersexual is a term for people who struggle with the symptom of hypersexuality, usually due to trauma. Fictoromantic and fictosexual mean romantic and sexual attraction to fictional characters, it is an a-spec identity (with it being an aromantic identity and an asexual identity respectively). Vallisromantic and vallissexual are also aromantic and asexual identities, they represent the course of attraction for me, being that I am attracted at first meet (generally), lose interest as I become friends and gain that attraction again as I get closer. Objectum is just the attraction to objects, also an a romantic/asexual term I believe. Intersex is my condition. MOGAI is just the community of labels I am a part of and foxfreak is a reference to my autistic connection to foxes, belief of being a fox in my past life and being a freak.

stupid memes under the cut - algae

[PT: doing @radiomogai’s experiences event yippee - day 2. End PT]

*go read day 1! If you want*

Today’s question (well technically a while ago’s question) is; “What are your experiences with names, pronouns, and other referential language? How does it relate or not relate to other aspects of your identity?” which is a bit of a mouthful!

I’ll tackle it one at a time, with taking the first question and then the first part of the question; names!

I’m a transgender non-binary butch man who is part of a system, this means my experiences with names has been a bit strange. I’ve been here for a while, and I am a fictive of one of our own characters, Algae. I didn’t automatically split from a character, as Algae (OC) existed in his first form around 2020-2021, and I’ve been here since 2016ish from memory, even longer. I split from another alter called Cookie, our “original” host, before splitting off more and more. I always have felt like “me”, as in separate and I have memories from those times, but specifically name and referential-wise, a lot has changed!

Splitting off different alters made it that I have a LOT of old names and pronouns that don’t really suit me anymore, as the other parts of my split have taken that aspect of my identity. I never actually chose the name Sans, nor did I choose the name Charlie at first. These were chosen by our original host as names for the whole system to go by generally. We were already called Sans as a nickname due to our username online usually including it, so when we wanted something other than our legal name to be used, we chose one everybody already called us. Charlie became a more “auxiliary name”, we are still Sans and the name is integral and important. If I were to change my name legally, (and Sweden still allowed middle names ough, gonna talk about that in a second) my middle name would most likely be Sans. Charlie is more common for people to call me now, it’s a more “average” name, one more people feel comfortable using in more serious contexts, and I’m completely fine with that.

A name I did choose for myself is Sodapop, it’s a fun name with only a few people calling it me (most people don’t recognise me as it). It’s not one I commonly use and I honestly could not tell you where it came from, the only thing I can do is when I read the Outsiders and saw the name stated as a character name there as a funny coincidence, it solidified it in my mind and I finally told someone I wanted it used.

“But hey, what about you signing off as Algae? Why don’t you use that as a name?” Good question, one, there’s TOO MANY of us. Hardships of being a system, specifically a polyfragmented system, there’s too many damn Algaes in this place (no offence y’all). I use Algae literally only in-system or when I’m talking to people about my system/get asked who is fronting. That name is just a system name, :)

Okay, last part about names here; Sweden doesn’t “do” middle names anymore. We can still have multiple names here, but there is no classification for “middle name”, you can have multiple first names, and then a surname. What we generally have is a tilltalsnamn, a “calling name”, so the name you use as your first that everybody will call you. A fun thing is that with Sweden, your tilltalsnamn does not need to be first in the list of names legally, it can be your first, second or third first name, they will just have a marker underneath telling people what your tilltalsnamn is. For me, when I change my name, I will most likely have my tilltalsnamn be Charlie, however Sans and Sodapop (if permitted by the government to have those as my names) will be my other first names, just not my tilltalsnamn. :)

Next is pronouns! I have a lot of those! Like way too many! My general and auxiliary pronouns are he/him, and for certain people who actually care about stuff like this (as I’m not hurt not being called this ever), it is he/it. I never go by they/them if it can be avoided, because people used this to avoid calling me by what I AM, a man. It used to be for me, not anymore. My neopronouns change regularly, but ones that have stuck since 2019-2020-ish are slime/slimeself, fox/foxself and star/starself. I don’t really use any neopronouns other than noun pronouns, so the word stays the same throughout all forms, instead of he/him/his, it is just star/star/star’s. I am a hoarder of pronouns, probably due to how many people are in my head haha, and it would be hard to tackle all of it. Specifically they are usually related to interests or things I like, so a lot of glowing, blues, greens, games, slimes, foxes, etc are in those lists.

I also have used first person pronouns, but only privately among myself and my system. Instead of I/me/my/mine/myself, I have used vul/vulp/vulps/vulps/vulpes, based of foxes. I mainly have used this in selfshipping contexts or talking about things in notes apps that I feel too awkward or nervous writing “me and I” about, usually due to internalised shame. It helps me have a healthy disconnect while still getting my thoughts and feelings out on paper! In a similar vein, if I’m writing and need to use my name for something like mentioned above, I’ll most likely use “Fox” for myself, for the same disconnect.

Referential language is a bit funny for me, I like most terms like Mr, man, boyfriend, etc except the term masculine, for example being called transmasc makes my skin crawl with dysphoria. If I am in a butch relationship, I am perfectly okay with being called a boygirlfriend or a girlboyfriend as I have been before! My identity and my referential language is a bit wonky and most times it’s just easier to ask. I also just enjoy being called a fox, so that works. If you would call a fox it, you can most likely call me it.

never apologize I love asks, not posting your one with the account just in case u wanna stay anon!

johnny / johnnyself

cade / cade self

puppy / puppyself

pup / pupself

pet / petself

gold / goldself

wind / windself

hospital / hospitalself

fire / fireself

hero / heroself

saviour / saviourself

heater / heaterself

outsider/outsiderself

switch / switchself

blade / bladeself

switchblade / switchbladeself

greaser / greaserself

soc / socself

social / socialself

jump / jumpself

tense / tenseself

dirt / dirtself

grease / greaseself

torn / tornself

shattered / shatteredself

chocolate / chocolateself

poetry / poetryself

family / familyself

gang / gangself

east / eastself

west / west self

Corneille x Joan (I have to do these on my phone lol)

Gumball x Penny