#alba help

me: ALBA HELP ME OH NO OH NO ALBA

alba: MADDIE OMG AAAAAAAA

me: ALBA HELP I DONT KNOW WHAR TO DI WHAT DO I DO OOOOH NOOOOOOO

alba: I KNOOOOOOOOOW DHDEHDAHDH

me: ALBA HELP ME PLEASE I CANT DO THID LEND ME YOUR STRENGTH HELP ME

alba: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Meet Sophocles, a lovely, adorable African pygmy hedgehog, with the cutest little feet and the most precious quills.

However, I’ve got a little bit of a predicament. Read on to learn about my misadventures with my nonexistent hedgehog, Sophocles.

It all began one boring summer day, when I was talking with a friend about how there was nothing to do. I mean, I could go exercise, hang out with my friends, or go outside, but... outside. I could study for ASEs, learn how to code, or practice my fifth-grade level Chinese, but... let’s be realistic. It’s summer.

So, talking about how there was nothing to do, my friend asked whether I would be up for a pet. Seeing as how my mother deeply hates pets, I initially told her, “No—that’d be a horrible idea.” But then she spoke the words that forever changed my life: “How about a hedgehog?”

The stars aligned. Sunlight broke through the clouds. The birds, happily chirping, became silent in deference to the amazing suggestion.

A hedgehog.

I’d seen plenty of tumblr gifs about the little balls of wonder, how adorable and precious they were, but I’d never pondered actually having one. Not until now.

The next few days, I threw myself into research. How to properly care for a hedgehog, what it needed to eat, costs, and habitats. I imagined how lovely it would be to sit in my room at Simmons, curled up with little Sophocles in one of my sweaters with me. I dreamt of how great it would be to have this little ball to take care of.

Everything was amazing—I had everything planned out with Sophocles. And then, I read something that broke my heart. First, hedgehogs were illegal in California, my current place of residence. My dreams fell through a bit—I wouldn’t be able to bring Sophocles back home during break, but I could leave him with a friend, right? But reading the guidelines of Simmons—No mammals, reptiles, or birds allowed—I felt my heart shatter.

Sophocles. My precious baby.

Gone before we even had a chance.