#alarming

Revealing a precipitous decline in the nation’s access to a once-plentiful resource, an alarming study published Tuesday by Harvard’s T.H. Chan School of Public Health found that only one in four Americans can get a motherfuckin’ “hell yeah.” “It’s no secret that peer enthusiasm is harder to come by than it was in previous decades, but even then, we were shocked to find a full 75% of Americans could only get a half-hearted ‘nice’ for situations that would have had people raising the motherfuckin’ roof just a decade ago,” said the study’s lead author, Professor Jessica Landers, adding that weak-ass responses like “okay” and “whatever” had exploded in frequency while “hell yeah” equivalents such as “BOOYAH” and “let’s fucking go” showed similar scarcity. Full Story

Cardan: *does not have any doubts that Jude could possibly misinterpret this situation*

Forecast: "Alarming collapse" in the weather