#al-queue-ical content

tagged by @winterandwords!! Thank you!

1. He expects her to go inside, to leave him wallowing by himself, but he’s shocked out of his thoughts when his door swings open. Benny pulls him towards her, her arms wrapping tight around his head and holding him to her chest as she whispers, “Don’t go where I can’t follow you.”

2. Something feels wrong when Kit wakes up in the tunnel again. Or, at least he thinks he’s in the tunnel. He’s not really sure. The static from last time has grown louder, overwhelmingly so, distorting the already fuzzy image of the inky depths around him. Even the claws, grasping at him desperately, are distorted. He can see them this time, for one. But they’re oddly shaped, bent at angles that feel wrong. Sharp cracks where Kit feels there should be knuckles, harsh edges as they curl and puncture the fabric of his shirt. Something’s wrong. 3. He feels a hand glide across his stomach and he reaches for it, laying his hand over the cold spot where he feels it should be. A gaping pit of yearning opens in his stomach. Yearning for the hand that should be there, yearning for touch that means something, yearning for what he could have been if he had never entered Seminary. Kit’s fingers clench where they sit on his stomach his other hand coming up to harshly wipe away the tears. Shame and guilt run rampant in his mind, an unpleasant mix that makes him want to scream in frustration. Why him? Why couldn’t he let go? Why is everything he touches doomed to distance themselves from him? Why would God want that for his Creation? The phantom touch ghosts it’s way up his side until it’s cupping his cheek, a bitter cold thumb rubbing circles into the meat of his cheek to soothe him. The hand holds him through his sobs, another sliding around his chest to pull him back into a bitingly cold torso.

4. “In my image…” The words reverberate in his mind, coating every inch of his body and chasing the same from his bones. In Their image… Before he knows it, Kit is laying down in bed, clothes be damned as he allows the phantom claws to roam. They never go where he wants, though. They probably can’t, he realized as he struggles to find relief. None comes. Only aching want and desire beyond what Kit can handle.

5. Shame coils deep in his stomach, He’s let everyone down once again, letting himself succumb to the search for pleasure. He knows Isaac will try and say it’s okay, but his upbringing says otherwise and right now Father Milo’s voice is the loudest in his brain, telling him that he gave himself to yet another layer of Sin. Yet another barrier between his eternal soul and Heaven. The thoughts become muffles when Kit feels a cold breath on his next. The static around him grows louder, drowning out the sermon playing on loop in his mind, instead replacing it with blessed nothing. The breath grounds him, brings Kit back to himself. Back to his own confidence as he reminds himself that he can do what he pleases, that he is his own person, not the boy that the church molded.

6. He shakes the thought out of his head, unlocking his phone and quickly finding the group chat with Benny and Isaac. His voice is thick with sleep as he records a voice note, “Mornin’ y’all, I hope youse had a good night I just woke up from a bonkers dream and I’m making it y’all’s problem.” He send that note before starting a second recording. “First off, it’s homophobic that I woke up alone when I distinctly did not go to bed alone. Yes this plays into the dream gimme a second. Secondly…” Kit relays the events of his dream, only pausing to laugh when Benny sends an emoji of a small creature eating popcorn.

7. Kit giggles and kicks his feet as he eats while listening to Benny complain. This is nothing new, it seems like every place Benny transfers to she deals with the same issues; being ostracized for not being ‘perfect’, having to do group tasks by herself, not being able to gain the respect of the long standing orders of the area. It’s nothing new but it still aches to hear. Kit just doesn’t get it, who wouldn’t like Benny? She’s selfless, kind, strong, beautiful, and damn good at what she does. Yeah, he doesn’t get it. But he supposes he doesn’t have to get it, he just has to be here. That is something he can do, he can be an ear for her, a shoulder to vent her frustrations into. As soon as he’s done eating, he sets the bowl on the counter next to him. The clattering sound grabs Benny’s attention and she makes her way over to him to grab the bowl. Only, as soon as she’s close enough, Kit wraps her in his arms and pulls her into a hug. Benny pushes against him, grumbling about putting the dirty dish in the sink and he reluctantly lets her go to do so. She comes right back to him when she’s done, though, and Kit wraps her tight in a hug. His head rests atop hers, his nose buried into the soft curls there as he presses a kiss to her crown. Her hands fist into the think material of his tank for a moment before smoothing out the wrinkles she caused as father Isaac walks into the room. Kit opens his arms to accept the man into his embrace as well, which he briefly accepts before stepping back and greeting the two of them. Benny doesn’t leave his embrace, but turns around and leans back into him as her hands fall to his thighs. Kits arms drape over her shoulders and his chin rests on her head as Father Isaac speaks.

I was tagged by @inkspellangel this time, thank you Kou!

Rules: Share a few lines or a snippet that sums up the main relationship(s) in your WIP.

oooooo there are so many good ones, but i just something for Kit and Benny that I have not been able to stop thinking about so we'll go with them today:

“It just feels like so much. this was the first time you hooked up with someone without telling me first and I know that doesn’t matter, that I may hold your soul but I have no claim on your body, but it still hurts. And these dreams, it feels like you’re moving away from me, like you’re slipping into a place where I can’t follow you.” He swipes his thumb over her cheek another time, hoping the gesture will be soothing for her. He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to reassure her that he isn’t going anywhere. this is where he was always meant to be, in her arms. He wouldn’t trade that for the world. If only he could tell her that. “I can hear you thinking, babe. I know, I’m just getting all up in my head about this. Now take me home so we can get some real food in you, okay?” She says with a smile, patting his hands before guiding them away from her face and towards the steering wheel. “You’ve got it, darlin’.”

tagged by @blind-the-winds this time, thank you!

I’m not entirely sure they’re real, they could just be hallucinations. Stress hallucinations are something I have experienced before, and it’s not hard to imagine I’ve spiraled into psychosis these past few weeks. God, is it bad that I’d rather be psychotic than have proof that the Angels are real? The constant buzzing of my phone doesn’t help. I had it on silent for a while, but the silence was even more disturbing. Instead, the background track to my life has become the sound of a phone vibrating on the desk, notifications about messages from teammates, friends, family, that I just can’t answer. That I don’t know how to answer.

I was tagged by @authoralexharvey this time! Thank you!

Icarus is not alone when the harsh rays of the sun wake him up.

Thanks for tagging me @howlingbreeze!!! My words are: BLUE, MOUNTAIN, KISS, & GROW.

BLUE

There is a lot on the pages. Maps, blueprints, dossiers on guards, photos of the building. Thanatos has truly outdone himself. Icarus squints his eyes, maybe death boy has a use. The idea of not having to collect information himself is nice, especially information this detailed. He wouldn’t have to deal with people or his informant again. Well, he might still deal with his informant. They are good for more than just the information they give.

MOUNTAIN

He glanced at the window to see if hey had made it out and was relieved to see the last little bit of black hair disappear from sight. Now, Icarus just had to get out. That proved to be easier said than done as the mountain of asshole did everything in his power to keep him from leaving. He had placed himself directly in between Icarus and his only route of escape, pushing him back into the labyrinthine hallways of the building. Icarus had to think of a way to get out of this situation now. He couldn’t be caught by anyone else here.

KISS

He could feel himself practically melt into the kiss, giving himself over to something he never dreamed he’d be allowed to have. Something he had regrettably run away from. Apollon kissed him like a dying man who’s only cure was his lips. His hand had not loosened it’s grip on Icarus’ face, holding him in place so that he could not move away even if he wanted to. Another hand came up to caress his cheek, as if Apollon couldn’t decide whether he wanted to be gentle or not.

GROW

The water is warm as it slides down his body. The rivulets washing away his worries and stress as they track their path down past his collarbones, his top surgery scars, his tattoos. Icarus leans forward into the overhead stream of water, letting it run down over his head and soak his hair. The weight was almost uncomfortable, his hair had grown considerably in the months that he was out of the city. He hadn’t noticed until the strands were heavy with water. I’ll need to cut it soon, he thinks as he washes himself.

Thanks for tagging me @howlingbreeze!!! My words are: PEARL, ORANGE, SWEET, & LEMON.

PEARL

I don't have this one, here's a fun fact!

Call Me Icarus has changed a lot from it's original idea, mostly fueled by my discovered love of writing horror! There are a lot more horror elements entwined in the story now!

ORANGE

I'm kinda surprised that this word doesn't come up at all seeing how many gingers are in my story lmao. Here's a fun fact instead!

Body types! I try to include as diverse as a cast as possible, and while everyone in CMI is athletic, that doesn't mean they're all in straight sizes! Andromeda and Dimetor are two of my plus sized characters! Dimetor specialized in bulky weapons when he was an Elysian, so se has the build of someone who uses big heavy weapons: something akin to a strongman!

SWEET

“…Fair ‘nuf.” The vibrations of a glass hitting the counter top make Icarus look up. A glass of water, just water. He groans, that is not what he wants right now. He’s craving the sweet buzz of an energy drink, but that will require him to get up and walk around the island to grab one. Andromeda chuckles, not moving an inch as they watch Icarus suffer over the glass. “Quit pouting and drink.” He drops his head, turning his face away from the glass. “Oh come on, you big baby. Deja de hacer un berrinche y bebe.” They poke his cheek as he pouts. “Mira, food’s ready. Sit up and eat.”

LEMON

I also don't have this one, so here's another fun fact!

Call Me Icarus is set in Cleveland, Ohio! I originally did not have identifying information about the location in the story, but with this re-write I am upping the ante! There are specific area names as well as street names in there

I was tagged by the amazing @isabellebissonrouthier! Thank you!

Some of my favorite lines from Call Me Icarus:

…Am I dead?

“I sleep with whoever the fuck I want to sleep with,” Icarus said, each word dripping with poison. “The kid is not one of them. Neither are you, frankly.”

He wanted the god above him to thoroughly desecrate him and leave nothing behind. Use him for all that he is worth so that he might actually be worth something.

And a couple from Incorrect Eyes!

“Where have you been?” Hiding. Hiding and working and sinking further into the pit of despair and paranoia.

Was that what we considered holy? What we had spent so much time trying to find? What we had hoped and prayed to see when we died? Not me, not now.

My life changed when I heard those three words, and never again would I search for what they meant.

tagged by @memento-morri-writes!! Thank you!

Rules:Share a first line! It can be the first line of a chapter, the first line you did in the most recent writing session, the first line of a story, the first line a character says, any kind of first line!

Technically two sentences, but I apparently like my short first lines lol

This is for my soon to be novella, Incorrect Eyes:

Be Not Afraid. My life changed when I heard those words.