#akoisme

am I confirming na wala na tayo? sigh.

I'm not asking for personal closure baka kasi ano pa magawa ko sayo.

but there's a side of me that wants to work this thing out...

because yes, I STILL LOVE YOU...

ehhhh tangina makapagpost ba naman ng picture with your ex sa facebook biglaan amputa. (oh hannah.. chill your tits)

I just don't get it.. this sudden change of heart shit.

like last week we are all so caught in the moment of enjoying each other's company... and then one night nung biglaan na nagkatampuhan, which is our 1st LQ, I apologized because it was totally my fault and I thought we were ok. but then the next thing you know, few days later you back out.. you suddenly confessed your love for your ex?! on FACEBOOK?!

wow...

there are actually two theories for that:

i think you are the kind of person who does not know how to deal with couple problems. you just tend to be confused and then just give up.

OR

maybe I was blind, that even we were together you kept on chatting with your past and you're just looking for a loophole so that you would get out of our relationship. talk about loyalty and shit huh.

but I don't know.. what's your reason for leaving me.

leaving hanging in the air... tsk.

I don't know If I need to fight for what we have because you already did this to me before but at that time, I had to let you go even though you wanted to hold on but this time since you're the one who's letting go.. then why would I need to push myself to someone who does not love me anymore?

sigh.

this is the part I hate the most, missing you.

I try my best to think about how annoying you are, how you sometimes get on my nerves but in the end I still think about those moments we laughed so hard and you just simply relieved all of my stress.

sigh.

I'm not counting my efforts, I did all of those things out of love. so yeah... call me stupid for falling for you.

before we were a couple, I was one of the people who believed in you and even we became a couple I still believed in everything you do or say. I wanted to understand you even though sometimes you're just too difficult to deal with.

but now that you have done this to me,

I just don't know If need to understand or even believe in you anymore. where did I go wrong..? or is it because of that LQ we had the other night that triggered it?

that night I was sleeping... tried to wake me up from my sleep, I explained to you that I have work and I need my rest.. I started to tear up and you hugged me and I blurted out and said:

"Are you pushing me to break up with you?

you told me...

"whoa.. saan nanggaling yang isip na yan? galing ba sa kanila? sige maniwala ka sa kanila. ganyan naman sila e"

I told you that night..

"I'm sorry. Di un ang intensyon ko. Kung alam mo lang beb, kahit anu-ano pinagsasabi nila tungkol sayo, pinagtatanggol kita. Dahil mahal na mahal kita beb."

so It's partly my fault din naman cguro.

sigh.

I have never ever.. cross my heart... have never loved and trusted someone this much. wow. najawnzoned ako dre.

and now... I just don't know. but this is not a post... wanting you back.

no.

this is just a post to let you know how you have hurt me so much and that this is a huge slap on my face for being a fool.

sa tagalog, TANGA!

no hard feelings but magulo kang tao. and forgive-and-forget is soooo not happening at this time.. nuh-uh niggah.

Good luck sayo, sa health mo, sa family mo at sa well-being mo.

and soo...

he left this morning... jawn. :) He's going to laguna today to have his medical check up.  They're gonna do some laboratory tests on him so that he could go under treatment.

and yes, pumayag na din siya magpagamot. I kept on telling him na he needs to drink antibiotics and after that go on a healthy diet...

ehhh etong lolo nyo ang tikas e. he says he doesn't need any medical treatment cause this is his fate from GOD (yes, this is what I was ranting about from my last posts. kainis lang)

pero it's a good thing pumayag na siya magpagamot.

and his brothers from the fraternity is willing to help him on the expenses for the treatment. o see? tamo? andaming taong willing to help him especially ako. :)

so yeah..