i’m not feeling negative about how adrian left. i still think we have hope for our boys. i mean look at what they came back from in season one. the last interaction we had of them back then was adrian telling him point blank you can’t make me feel something i don’t which we know wasn’t true. he felt it even then. after all, we had canon confirmation tonight that he’d loved deran since they were kids.

it also showed us that adrian has a history of distancing with these emotional lines. tonight, we got the same thing (you’re the worst thing that ever happened to me).

but sarah, he left without deran! deran chose his family over adrian! its exactly what pearce said at the beginning of the season (do you really think deran would choose you over all of this? or whatever the line was - too lazy to pull the videos right now).

yes, i can see how that looks kind of bad, but my dudes, we have at least a full season after this. we have a season for them to grow back together, which is what they are good at doing. was i screaming at the tv for deran to go after him? yes. but do i think they wrote themselves into a narrative hole that they can’t get out of? no way. i can see like five other paths out of this particular hole and if i can see it, i have faith that the professionals who have thus far written this b e a u t i f u l love story can do the same thing.

deran and adrian are the heart of this show. they are the emotional center. yes, we have craig and renn, but they’ve never been stable and i hold my breath every single time craig goes home expecting nick and renn to be gone and face it, its probably gonna happen. historically speaking, its what renn does. there will be a note saying she’s gone to tasnim’s. but that’s for another time. deran and adrian are the emotional core. there’s no denying it. in terms of relationship arc, we’ve had a beautiful one and this wasn’t an ending.

this was them standing outside of the bar, deran begging that he just wanted them to be alright. this was deran sacrificing his happiness for adrian’s safety but not able to sacrifice his family after finding out pope knew about adrian talking to the cops and didn’t do anything, after craig stood there and looked him in the eyes and said he needed him. while deran and adrian are the emotional core, the relationships between the brothers are the pillars of this show. he couldn’t leave his pillars, even for his heart.

adrian left, but he’ll be back. nothing was said that they can’t come back from. you’re the worst thing that ever happened to me is literally on par with you can’t make me feel something i don’t and i just - i refuse to be a negative nancy over something that will come back.

and y’know if this time next year i’m wrong? catch me putting on my clown makeup. got enough of it.

but i also have a lot of hope and faith in the story they’ve been telling with these boys as they’ve moved from toxic to healthy to scared men trying to find their way out of a desperate situation.

this isn’t the end, my dudes.

deran and adrian, our beloved marshmallows, are engame. mark my words.