#aibg

Mr. Nara

CHAPTER 11

She wants to breathe in the smoke he exhales. She wants to lick the nicotine out of his mouth. She wants to clean the tar from his fingers.

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Wowzers! Thank you!!! That’s so sweet to say. I’m glad you liked the whole version and felt their moves throughout the story were right. 

Okay, in this long hypothetical, let me tell you how I wish I wrote the story:

A few months ago, @mybrainishealthy​ wrote me about a movie she had seen and I became obsessed with basing an ending off that. Unfortunately, aibg was already long written. And that ending would have required a complete rewrite and would have had to head in a completely different direction a long while back. BUT i love it so so much,  I just feel like anything now is so weak in comparison. 

So, although I haven’t really thought through it in detail and it might have laid out in a completely different way, this is the version i picture:

Most things are the same, though some reactions, the history/government background, etc. are different. and there is lots of discussion about messages and codes and they sometimes would sew messages in braille in the lining of clothing. But anyway, they grow close and are basically on the verge of CHOOSING each other... like the shogi scene... they’re on the cusp of something happening (though that stuff would go on for a lot longer. a lot of sexual/romantic tension) and then right when she is sort of ready to say something, we find out that shikamaru was the enemy the whole time (maybe konoha was pairing w kiri? idk. maybe he just works for kiri) and the whole time he was betraying her/her country. and it’s HIGH DRAMA and you’d just read the whole story and find clues toward it that you only see on second glance (like, the sixth sense (1999) sort of thing). and she has all these clues and they keep piling up but she is in love and it takes a lot for her to finally realize he is a traitor. And idk how but he’d disappear (but pulled out, have killed who he needed to... idk, something). he’d be gone forever. maybe even dead, idk. but she would hate him. HATE him. and hate herself for how blinded she thinks she was. and then, down the line, still pretending everything is fine, etc, idk (maybe helping her country kill him), she’s returned to Suna and is resuming her life and is being debriefed or is out with some friends (just in a situation where she has to pretend like it’s fine because she can’t tell them she had feelings for him) and she is touching her jacket or something (something he never would have come across, so she knows the message is new) and feels (without looking) in the seam, sewn in braille, something like “I love you.” or something akin (I’d find a better way to get that across that would be a Line, you know?) and tears would just started streaming down her face but she wouldn’t even know it. she wouldn’t react. just tears. 

and that’s how it would end!!!

isn’t that 100000% better than the original?!?!? 😭 i’m so upset!

I know! Me too!!! I am very very upset about it! I haven’t been writing at all though, which is because I think I hit that desire when editing. So I haven’t been motivated to write new stuff, which sucks. I’ll be glad to do that. But I’ll miss you and all (one, probably) anon(s) so much! but yes please reread and if you come to any new conclusions or realizations toward things, let me know!

okay toward favorite lines, yes actually, they have all passed. emma, one of my betas, has her favorite line in the final chapter. and i do like that one, but it’s not my fav (it’s a “serious” line)! here are top three that i loved to write and love to reread (in order, honestly, mostly out of stupidity... but they’re so stupid, it just makes me like them more):

It’s that simple: shit, she thinks, and then she is shot.

Sex, she thinks, “it’s sex,” she says. 

hahahah i’ve been saying! IT’S ONE anon over and over!!! 

ugh yes the shower curtain. that was one of the very first ideas. pre-spies even. I wanted something in an arranged marriage where she kept doing something and you knew how he was going to react, so he could come in and see it and you knew exactly how it would piss him off, you know? i wanted that vibe where she is asleep but she’s done something and we know how little it is and how they both know it’s solely to annoy him.... 

CHAPTER 4

"I genuinely never thought I would get married. And if I did, I expected it to be much later. But, you know,” she reaches back, pats Shikamaru’s knee for a moment. “I knew he was the one. There was never any doubt for me.”

“Lots for me,” he says, laughter in his tone, and then he takes her hand, settling it on his knee.

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