I don't know why I thought this would be a simple campaign, I'm exploring my love of Alice in Wonderland via dnd.
So I'm playing a half-drow rogue, Alysaria, raised in the Rakdos circus in Ravnica. She has a magical dress with pockets that looks like it's from Madness Returns, and she has these Powers of Exasperation that she doesn't even fully understand yet.
So yeah, Alyss's thought process thus far has been... interesting...
What do you mean the king is dead?
What do you mean we sacrifice people in the circus?
What do you mean the circus tent came to life?
What do you mean flamingos mauled the Orzov giant? I didn't bring any flamingos with me!
What do you mean my friend is Orzov and we killed his family? What do you mean we don't really know his name?!
What do you mean this poem summons a deer? It gores the bitch?!
What do you mean I don't have any weapons that hurt shadows? I'm in the Shadowfell!
What do you mean the music box carousel is life size now? The key is huge? And it's mine? It's a greatmace?!
What do you mean we just have to follow a Man in a Black Hat? What good ever comes from following a man in a Black Hat?!
What do you mean this isn't the Midnight City?
What do you mean the Man turned into a raven? He bit my friend?! He's a wereraven?!
What do you mean I accidentally walked in on a demon prince's bedchambers?
What do you mean there's a smaller version of me with a chimera as a pet? What do you mean she's also a cat?
What do you mean she just happens to have a magic warlock raven sword for my friend, who just lost his warlock powers?
What do you mean that plant is made of flesh and wants to eat us?
What do you mean Gloomwrought is rife with totalitarian religious oppression in the sheets and gangs running amok in the streets?
What do you mean we all must quest with the champion to cure a useless figurehead of the disease called life? I just want a nap!
What do you mean the religious balance between Shar, Selune, and the Raven Queen is severely out of balance? What do you mean "imbalance in the Shadowfell is imbalance on all planes of existence"?!
What do you mean no one speaks with the Raven Queen? What do you mean? I just had tea with the Raven Queen!
What do you mean I might be descended from a Deva? What do you mean I might have been a reincarnation? What do you mean you knew all along?
What do you mean my crush best friend is missing? What do you mean she's is a vampire now? It was consensual?!
What do you mean we're sleeping in the vampire graveyard tonight? She has to chop off the head of a Midnight's Own member before the next full moon? In three days?!
What do you mean the Midnight's Own might have werewolves in service of Selune? What do you mean we have to ask the werewolves for help?! In this economy?!?
What do you mean the Ebony Guard are now autonomous murderbots? What do you mean all the original ones left on pilgrimage hundreds of years ago?!
What do you mean you can taste my blood to see if it's got magic in it? A small neck bite? Is this what hotness is? What do you mean "angel blood"? What do you mean half?!
What do you mean my friend doesn't want to be the Raven Queen's champion? What do you mean he's crying??
What do you mean group hug??? Now we're all crying!!! Except Vyra, she's chill.
Bonus, a currency exclusive to our party, Gank Gang Platinum, made by Alyss out of an old leather hole punch and some plating. Needs a hammer to use.
