#ah63

Who cooks: dan does more of the cooking but when gabbie deigns to cook she’s actually pretty good; she just doesn’t like to.

Who does the laundry and other chores:  dan again, gabbie is always busy doing things for rooster teeth, or visiting gina and girffon, or occasionally she’s with mikey and lindsay (although less so while dan is there)

How many children do they have: none, but they’ve talked about it a little. the conclusion is “maybe someday.”

Who’s more dominant: dan, by mutual agreement, and that’s the way both of them like it.

Favorite nonsexual activity: slow-mo videos, and playing halo.

Their favorite place to be together: they like being in england together.

Any traditions: gabbie lights a candle when dan leaves for a tour. she only lets it burn at night and she doesn’t tell anyone why it’s burning. (griffon figures it out, anyways.) it’s her way of thinking of him, even when she’s asleep. every night she lights a candle until he’s safe back home.

Their “song”: if there was no you - brandi carlile (i don’t know if that’s a song they’d like or a song that makes me think of them but either way it is theirs)

What they do for each other on holidays: gabbie likes buying dan increasingly extravagant presents as time goes on simply because it makes him spectacularly uncomfortable to unwrap something so expensive (and also because he was complaining about how shitty his old wallet was, anyways, so what’s the harm in getting him a nice leather one?)

Where did they go for their honeymoon: cancun. gabbie likes the beach. dan likes gabbie on the beach.

Where did they first meet: work in a grocery store. they hit it off immediately.

Any pets: gabbie’s cat egg.

What do they fight over: they’ve fought over dan being in the army before. not legitimate angry fights or anything, but more of a “i don’t want to lose you so i’m lashing out” type of thing. and also, gabbie willingly picks fights with him over him leaving the toilet seat up.

GOOGLE DELETED THE E-MAIL. 

EVERYONE wants to make toasts to these two and they’re all saying the sweetest things and neither of them have ever looked happier than they do that day and at the end of the ceremony as they run out of the church instead of throwing rice (tbc)

everyone is waiting with sparklers like in that picture, and the flowers in their hair match each other’s dresses, and they both make sure to dance with everyone that night because they’re so happy and they want to share that with everyone else (tbc)

and burnie gives them both plenty of time for their honeymoon where they go far, far away from texas together. and MIKEY’S PARTY BUS that sounds like a disaster waiting to happen and also the best idea ever

also this post says that jj is wearing both the red dress and the white dress which while i know some people change dresses during weddings (i watch a LOT of wedding trash on tlc) jj probably would not.

Like, in-universe, instead of Lindsay and Mikey getting married (because Mikey would not want to marry Lindsay if she couldn't ALSO marry Gabbie, so they all just try to live in sin happily) and having that wedding be the RT wedding, it's JJ and Blair's wedding that everyone's so excited for

oh shit no i meant JJ would wear a red dress and BLAIR would wear the white one SHIT I FUCKED UP

ALSO BECAUSE OF YOU I'M NOW TRAWLING THE LESBIAN WEDDING TAG

QUICK JESS

and when people show up to the auditions she notices there are way fucking less women than men and she goes fuck that noise i'm gonna pick a team of badass ladies and we're going to kick everyone's asses and out of the twenty or so women present she picks the five we know

she snags rae narvaraez first because rae just wipes the floor with everyone at the auditions and her gamerscore is just so fucking high there's no way she wouldn't get through

mikey jones is not a hard choice to come up with either because she swore so viciously at the audition the two poor suckers who had to share a couch with her while they tried out were both sitting on the arms to get as far away from her as possible and she still kicked both their arses

gabbie already worked for roosterteeth but she entered the competition and people cry favoritism but she flips them off because fuck you Carrie and Barden are competing too so fuck you with a shovel you arseholes and besides gabbie knows minecraft and logic games like no one else

everyone expects gina to go for carrie because gina's always had a soft spot for carrie even though she's a fucking asshole sometimes but gina surprises everyone by grabbing jackie pattillo, who was quite quit throughout the whole audition and quietly beat everyone without a word

and then by this point there are five women left in the pool of applicants and gina's like okay fuck this i don't know who to pick, team conference and gabbie puts forward ryanne haywood, who seemed really quiet until you realized she fucking unnerved everyone so much they were giving her a wide bearth

gina invites ryanne onto the team before anyone could blink

then they've got their six: gina, rae, mikey, gabbie, jackie and ryanne

and they're the only all female team and someone tries to claim gina is playing favorites by picking only women and gina just calls them out by pointing out how three of the other five teams are all male and how the other two only have one woman each on them and how if they're so worried about getting beaten by a team of girls they should just quit now because underestimating your opponents is a bad fucking move

after that mikey and ryanne start grinning like lunatics and at that point lindsay, who is manning one of the cameras, catches sight of mikey and develops a massive crush ON THE FUCKING SPOT so mikey ends up with really disproportionate camera time

which is fucking annoying because they keep having to beep out every fucking other word out of mikey's mouth

barden gives lindsay SO MUCH SHIT FOR THAT while she edits

and that's about as far as i figured out