#agrip

Marion Misiurny, 20191204_4. 2019, acrylic on paper, 15 X 15 cm (6 X 6 in).

Not knowing I struggled with anxiety throughout my childhood years is the hardest thing I’ve had to come to terms with, knowing why has made it all the worse, because it’s something I know I will always struggle with.

Although being aware that I deal with anxiety helps to some degree, there is still concern that I have to fit into other people’s expectations of how they think I should deal with it. Where my sensory impairments are responsible and they are the reason for my anxiety, it’s important I deal with those first, because those are what present first.

It’s my jumbled emotions through my brain impairment that brings about fear where others wouldn’t give the issue a second’s thought and not always being able to find a resolution makes my anxiety worse. But anxiety is worse than just feeling nervous or worrying about a particular issue. For me, if my anxiety isn’t dealt with swiftly or effectively, I over-think things and that triggers my irrational thinking.

Generally, where anxiety is left it can develop into depression. For those already dealing with depression, they may also deal with anxiety. One triggers the other. Where some of us may have a predisposition to anxiety and depression through family, my anxiety is because of jumbled emotions brought about through my particular brain damage.

However anxiety presents, it’s important we learn how to get a grip on it, if we are to have a more calm and peaceful life. I know for me, it’s something I shall always have to continue to work on.