Oct 27, 2016
He doesn’t understaaaaaaaand
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He doesn’t understaaaaaaaand
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He’s dead but... this is how he’d reply:
@e-yuu97 e-yuu97 said:Hey agent dickface. *throws a third shoe at you*
*steps to the side and deadpans at you* Nice try, asshole. But your shoes are ineffective weapons.
IdentiCard “Black Widow” Prototype 0.1a
He taps the flat side of the card repeatedly against his own finger, fiddling with it like he would with a credit card while waiting for the cashier.
The SHIELD floor where he’s waiting is mostly silent but every now and then a person in a lab coat rushes past, carrying items he could identify given half a mind. He feels strangely like he could be dragged to work everytime one of them looks in his direction.
It had happened before. “Oh Mister Stark how fortunate to meet you now I have a little problem with-“ and then he can either walk along and fix whatever, or dig his heels in and be an asshole about it.
He turns the card around in his hands a few times. He used the hairdresser one street down as a cover for this one, sure that Natasha will understand the joke of “Nicholas Fury – Hairstylist”. Maybe the privately owned hairdresser whose logo and address he loaned will get a little more traffic once she’s seen with his company card in her wallet.
Skype shenanigans in OOC chat:
[7:26:37 PM] Natasha Romanoff: CLINT
[7:26:48 PM] Natasha Romanoff: FILL COULSON'S OFFICE WITH PEANUT BUTTER, BIRDSEED, AND BIRDS
[7:26:49 PM] Clint Barton: NATASHA HI
[7:26:50 PM] Clint Barton: omfg
[7:26:57 PM] Natasha Romanoff: HE ASKED FOR IT
[7:26:59 PM] Clint Barton: DID HE
[7:27:15 PM] Clint Barton: BECAUSE I CAN DELIVER.
[7:27:15 PM] Natasha Romanoff: TRYIN' TO REPLACE THE OLD TEAM WITH THESE WANNABES
[7:27:26 PM] Clint Barton: YEAH YOU KNOW WHAT, NAT
[7:27:28 PM] Clint Barton: I THINK I WILL
[7:28:27 PM] Agent Phil Coulson: You're both fired.
[7:29:02 PM] Natasha Romanoff: WE'RE CONTRACTORS NOW, YOU'RE NOT EVEN TECHNICALLY OUR BOSS ANYMORE
[7:29:29 PM] Agent Phil Coulson: Exactly.
[7:29:32 PM] Agent Phil Coulson: You left me.
[7:29:37 PM] Natasha Romanoff: YOU DIED
[7:29:42 PM] Natasha Romanoff: /YOU/ LEFT /US/
[7:30:12 PM] Agent Phil Coulson: I didn't. I was in a coma. Can't exactly call you with a "Hey, sorry about the whole...dead thing."
[7:30:28 PM] Natasha Romanoff: Well you should work on that.
[7:31:23 PM] Clint Barton: YOU DIED HARDCORE, PHIL
[7:31:28 PM] Clint Barton: IF I CRIED OVER IT, YOU TECHNICALLY DIED.
[7:31:41 PM] Natasha Romanoff: ^TRUTH
[7:31:46 PM] Agent Phil Coulson: If we're talking technical, I was dead on the table for seven minutes.
[7:31:58 PM] Clint Barton: See? Dead. Really dead. I cried, you were dead.
[7:32:17 PM] Agent Phil Coulson: I spent seven minutes in heaven. And I'm not talking about the numerous attempts from Natasha to lock me in the closet with Captain Rogers.
[7:33:47 PM] Clint Barton: ... thanks.
[7:34:11 PM] Agent Phil Coulson: You're very welcome.
#how did you pass the psych eval?
With my good looks and charm.
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nat09556 replied to your post: I know, I know. I was gone for like, two weeks. ...
Not sorry.
I don't even know what y'did. C'mon. Spill.
Dial M for Master Assassin
Tony gave the schematics a side long glance. He’d been putting it off for a long time which only served to put his mind on edge.
For the meantime he casted them another annoyed glare at got up from his chair.
“JARVIS file the schematics for another day.”
He had exited the lab before the AI could even attempt to question him. He pressed for the elevator in favor of getting some much needed air. Pepper was out for the day, and he hadn’t heard anything from Fury either.
The elevator took up him and dropped him off atop of A Tower. The sun was beginning to set.
“I need a vacation.”