May: *coughs blood*
Coulson: Don't die, May!
May: Don't tell me what to do!
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May: *coughs blood*
Coulson: Don't die, May!
May: Don't tell me what to do!

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Coulson: *sharpens knife* We've got ways of making people talk.
Coulson: *cuts piece of cake*
Skye: ...Can I have some?
Coulson: Cake is for talkers.
Bobbi: You bought a taco?
Hunter: Yes.
Bobbi: From the same truck that hit Fitz?!
Hunter, with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help him.
Simmons: What do you think Daisy will do for a distraction?
Fitz: She'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
Fitz: ...or she could do that.
Fitz: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.
Simmons: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.
Fitz: Absolutely not.

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"You dove through a hole in the Universe for me!"
Fitz: Are you an "arr" pirate, or a "yo ho ho" pirate?
Skye: I’m a "I’m not paying $600 for photoshop" pirate.
Coulson: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.
Skye: Oh, you’ve been?
Coulson: Once. In Monopoly.