#afuckinggremlin

Mattie, 

The guidance counselor at your school said something about how writing –

I don’t know how to say this in person so I thought a letter –

You’re shutting down. I see it, with me and everyone else. This is how you cope. And I understand that. Burdening people with the stuff you’re going through is the last thing you want to do. Because what’s on your chest is so black, so corrupted, and so horrible that no one should have to bear it. 

Especially not you. 

Please, Mattie, let me in. I can’t lose you to the walls you’re building. Let me –

I remember I used to read you and Nate stories when you were little. And sometimes they’d be scary because the shit I had to read wasn’t really ‘kid’ appropriate. I’d do all the voices and you two would be tucked into bed, covers pressed up to your necks. 

One night we read Watership Down. You know, the book with the bunnies; a few of them die at the end of the book, and in retrospect it was a little traumatizing. I closed the book when it was time for bed; Nate had already fallen asleep way before. But you were still up, avoiding my eyes and playing with the blanket on your chest. 

Even then you tried to shut me out. I had to crawl into bed with the two of you and turn you round so you’d look me in the eye. I laid with you and held you for nearly two hours, listening to the sounds of mum and dad downstairs, before you even uttered a peep of what had been going on in your brain. Two hours felt like a lifetime, staring at you and not being able to help. But when you broke in my arms, even if only for a moment, it felt like healing.

It’s been three weeks, Mattie. I know well I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do. Think you got that from me, to be honest. 

Help me help you. Let me in. I want my little sister back. I want my Mattie back. 

✉ an 2 AM text

[ mattie-bear ]: it is 2:03 in the morning where tf are you 

[ mattie-bear ]: your curfew was 1:30 

[ mattie-bear ]: better give me the best answer of your life or i’m coming to look for you with the pickaxe

✘ an unsent text

[ mattie-bear ]: I wish I knew what was going on in your head.

[ mattie-bear ]: You worry me when you get lost in your thoughts. Like you’re drifting further and further out

[ mattie-bear ]: and I’m stuck here with my arms outstretched.

[ mattie-bear ]: Trying to reel you back in.

☠ a threatening message

[ mattie-bear ]: did you hide all of caleb’s underwear?? 

[ mattie-bear ]: it was funny the first time, and a little the second

[ mattie-bear ]: this is the fifth time. i’m getting tired of having to look for his boxers in the holes of trees. 

[ mattie-bear ]: stop pranking your brother 

[ mattie-bear ]: i will bring the thunder if you don’t

❤ a lusty/loving/affectionate message

[ mattie-bear ]: today’s international sisters day

[ mattie-bear ]: you’re my favorite sister 

[ mattie-bear ]: and i’m so proud of you. you’re the smartest, sharpest, cutest girl in galaxy. don’t be afraid to be who you are

[ mattie-bear ]: anyways

[ mattie-bear ]: did you pick up milk? i’m making pancakes tomorrow

Send ♣ for a drunk message ( au because cam doesn’t drink )

[ mattie-bear ]: hhsv you ever done jelllo sh ots

[ mattie-bear ]: wwait jk

[ mattie-bear ]: you’re too young

[ mattie-bear ]: no jlello sjots for you!!!

Send ✉ for an 2 AM text

[text: kid vicious ] look I know cam already gave you the whole thing[text: kid vicious] but it’s getting late so? ya. let me know if you need a ride. no judgments.

Send ✘ for an unsent text

[text: kid vicious ] I'm sorry.[text: kid vicious ] I’m sorry I disappointed you.[text: kid vicious ] I didn’t do it. And I know you already believed that. Which is... thank you. But I want you to know, without any doubts. I didn’t do it. [text: kid vicious ] But that doesn’t really matter. And I know that's the hardest part for you to accept. [text: kid vicious ] So I’m sorry.

Send ☠ for a threatening message

[text: kid vicious] did you move my clothes? [text: kid vicious] dammit mattie I have like three fucking things i noticee when THEYRE MOVED[text: kid vicious ] you cant just keep comng in and moving everything [text: kid vicious] dont ignore me. [text: kid vicious] whatever. if you do it again im throwing your stupid phone on top of the fridge 

Send ❤ for a lusty/loving/affectionate message

[text: kid vicious] hey[text: kid vicious] whens your next game?[text: kid vicious] i thought id go [text: kid vicious] if you wanted. so ya let me know.

Send ♣ for a drunk message

Send ✉ for an 2 AM text

[text: shortstack]look, if anyone calls can you tell them i'm staying at yours tonight? my rents will flip if they catch me out, but there's this house near school that's totally derelict and shit. i wanted to check it out.[text: shortstack] i'll owe you. [text: shortstack] how do you feel about art deco chandeliers?  

Send ✘ for an unsent text

[text: shortstack]if you're hanging out for me to apologize then clearly we're going to have an issue. we're your team, sure, but it isn't our fucking job to hold your hand and make you feel better. grow the fuck up.

Send ☠ for a threatening message

[text: shortstack] when my hands slip and you get hit in the face just know it's all your own fault.

Send ❤ for a lusty/loving/affectionate message

[text: shortstack]i ever tell you're my favorite?[text: shortstack]in an armresty sort of way that is.[text: shortstack]shut the fuck up.

Send ♣ for a drunk message