Can I just share something here about my own personal life and why this video really just strikes a chord with me? I'm gonna share it.
When I was a child, I liked so many feminine things. I played with Barbies. I had a feminine attitude. I genuinely thought that I was supposed to be a girl. Because the things that 'girls liked,' I liked. So, I assumed that's what it meant.
Now, my parents didn't validate that. I ended up being just gay and being, you know, a little bit feminine as a man, right?
But if we all just take a step back, and think about our childhood and how good it felt to be rewarded by our parents, how when we did something right and our parents said, 'yes, good job,' how amazing that felt? Because all we cared about was the validation of our parents. Can we just open up the conversation just for a second to think about the potential harms of letting parents do things like this with their children, and what's specifically happening here?
The lighting up of the face of this child reminds me of my childhood when I would get rewarded by my parents. Do we see how easily predatory this can be? Because, if it was me and my parents did this, and I was in the situation that I was in, I would not be the man I am today. I wouldn't.
I understand that dysphoria is a debilitating situation to live with. I truly do. And because of that, I also understand that positively reinforcing that in your young child, who may not be actually experiencing it, who is likely not, is not a good idea.
Positive reinforcement is the most powerful way to shape and mold a child's mind. If we have parents who are told to blatantly affirm everything a child says, it is not setting them up for a life that is going to be easy. Dysphoria is not easy, okay. And it's not something that should be glorified in children.
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For a bit of context, the father has established a business based on him putting everything about his family online. Including his wife's miscarriage. So, the kids have grown up online.
Which makes the song "Popular" from Wicked, which touts the importance of popularity over "brains or knowledge," or being "who you were.. or are," even more disturbing. This boy is learning that doing whatever it takes to gain attention and Likes and Subs is the most important thing of all. Especially getting Likes from his father.
And if it turns out his nature is just that, like Clarkson, he's just gay, he's already learned that his father would rather have a "girl."
Hilary Cass cautioned in her interim report that social transition is "not a neutral act" and is "an active intervention."
https://cass.independent-review.uk/publications/interim-report/
Social transition – this may not be thought of as an intervention or treatment, because it is not something that happens within health services. However, it is important to view it as an active intervention because it may have significant effects on the child or young person in terms of their psychological functioning. There are different views on the benefits versus the harms of early social transition. Whatever position one takes, it is important to acknowledge that it is not a neutral act, and better information is needed about outcomes.
