Rain falls lightly, pattering in the grass. The misty gloom feels appropriate, Eddie thinks to himself as he plays with the unlit cigarette in his hands.
It's cool out, he thinks. Grey and quiet, mid-morning still by the light.
Eddie doesn't look up as a pair of sneakers enter his peripheral.
Steve sighs and sits down, despite the wet grass, close enough that Eddie feels the slight warmth radiating out from him.
Neither speak for a minute. Both content to watch the rain paint the landscape.
"Talked to your uncle today," Steve blurts out. His voice sounds rough, ragged even, as he sighs.
Eddie turns slightly, taking in the slump of Steve's shoulders, the red rimmed eyes.
"He'll probably be by later I think, same with Dustin," Steve sniffs once and rubs his nose with the back of his hand.
"Max is still in the hospital, but the uh, doc says it's looking like she'll be okay".
Eddie smiles, tucking the cigarette behind his ear.
This is the first time they've heard something definitive about Little Red, a tightness in his chest he hadn't realized was there finally begins to loosen.
"And Dustin's milking his sprain for all its worth, the little asshole knows exactly what he's doing," Steve snorts as he brings his knees up to his chest.
The rain is falling slightly harder now, plastering Steve's hair to his forehead, his grey jacket looks absolutely soaked through, but he doesn't move.
Eddie wishes belatedly that there was a tree nearby, something to shield them from the deluge.
"God," Steve barks out suddenly, "you fucking idiot, I told you, I told you, not to be a hero".
Steve presses the heels of both hands into his eyes roughly and sniffs again before swiping a hand through his wet hair, "the kids are all okay, I just thought you should know, it isn't fair that you didn't get to see the end of it".
Eddie nods, quietly, spinning a ring on his left hand as Steve stands up with a small pained groan. His hands jump to his sides before he's able to stand completely upright once more.
And for just a second Eddie swears that Steve is making eye contact, that a glimmer of recognition appears in his wide brown eyes.
But his gaze moves through Eddie, down to the black plaque embedded in the earth.
"I'll see ya Eds," Steve says softly. He lingers for a moment longer before he turns and makes his way back to the gravel path.
"I'll be here," Eddie whispers quietly after a beat.
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Thank you everyone for your patience, I am splitting up this last part into two (I know, I know - I'm sorry!!)
***
The drive home after dropping Robin off was long. She had offered to stay the night again but Steve insisted she go home unless she wanted her parents to throw them and impromptu engagement party after she eventually graduates --Steve still winces when he thinks about Mrs.Buckley cooing about what sweet babies they would make when she thought he had left the other night.
He pulls into the empty driveway and shuts off the Beemer’s engine; it feels criminal for the sun to still be at full force at this time but at least he's been able to avoid the heat for most of the day.
And say what you will about the Harringtons, but at least they had invested in AC before skipping town without him.
Once inside Steve hangs his keys on the hook beside the door and heads upstairs to change. He just wants to crawl into bed, hide himself under the covers and sleep after the day he's had.
Robin did her best to give him a pep talk after their run in with Eddie at Family Video but it had mostly consisted of her brainstorming how to shave his head without implicating themselves.
It made Steve laugh despite arguing that Eddie's hair was his third best feature and Steve is fairly certain he would be second in line to avenge it next to Eddie.
Steve throws on an old pair of pajamas and a ratty Hawkins high t-shirt from the floor beside his laundry basket. He sniffs it dubiously and throws it on, it could go another day without a wash --it's just him tonight anyway.
Alone again.
Steve makes his way downstairs and debates a frozen pizza or the leftovers in the Tupperware Mrs.Henderson had forced into his hands before he left their house the other night.
He'd picked up a lot of recipes from Claudia and learned different ways to stretch an ingredient across multiple meals or even make a single meal last multiple days -with his parents gone so often it had been crucial for him to learn. Steve isn't even sure where they are at this point or if they know about the earthquakes.
A small part of him hopes they don't know, because if they did and still haven't called or come back to Hawkins to check on him….
Steve quells that line of thought and tosses it into the little box in the corner of his mind.
Don't think about it.
Steve rolls his shoulders and opens the fridge before taking out the tupperware and grabbing a plate from the cupboard.
The sudden sound of tires crunching and an engine turning off outside has him looking towards the front entryway, it's definitely in his driveway, but he isn't expecting anyone?
Oh god…what if it's Hopper or Nancy? Another gate? If Vecna's back, they needed him.
Steve nearly drops the plate in his hands in his haste to get to the door, he manages to put it on the counter before sliding over the hardwood floor as he stumbles into the foyer.
Steve flings open the door to reveal a nervous Eddie Munson on his doorstep.
"Eddie?" Steve says, his voice pitched with surprise and concern, he looks around for any sign of one of the other kids, "What is it? Is it Vecna? Is anyone hurt?"
Eddie blinks, his eyebrows pop up into his scruffy bangs, "What? No, no man, it's just me".
Steve breathes out a sharp sigh of relief and lets his heart rate slowly calm down, but if it wasn't the Upside Down why the hell was Eddie here?
Contrary to popular opinion, Steve wasn't actually stupid, he knew Eddie wouldn't just be here for him, he'd made it perfectly clear that they weren't friends.
"Oh," Steve mumbles, still confused, "did you leave something here the other night?"
Eddie tilts his head slightly and his eyebrows fall into the barest furrow, "No Steve, I just, can I come inside?"
His right hand twitches once before reaching for the door frame as he steps forward.
A million questions nearly burst forth from Steve, what do you want? Did the kids put you up to this? Are you going to say it to my face this time? What do you want from me?
He wrenches them back, shoving them all into that same little box, and instead says, "yeah man," as he steps aside to let Eddie through.
Eddie grins but it doesn't quite reach his eyes, the anxious feeling in Steve's gut, twisting and cold, begins to build again.
All at once Steve is incredibly aware of the fact that he's wearing pajamas and a dirty old t-shirt, he's sweaty and tired from a long day at work and he doesn't have the emotional fortitude to be told off again.
"Hey, Eddie, listen," Steve fumbles through the words, he reaches up to pinch his fingers into his eyes, "if this is about Hellfire, I'll back off, I didn’t mean to," he stops and swallows, searching for what to say.
Because, what did he even do? It's still not clear and the thought makes him want to grind his teeth.
"To like, interfere with your set up? Or, or, actually, you know what,” Steve's voice suddenly climbs in volume, "I don't know, what did I do Munson?"
Steve raises his hands from his eyes to his hair which he grips harshly with one hand while the other gestures wildly in front of him.
"Why are you here? Why did you come to Family Video,” Steve shakes his head and chews harshly on his bottom lip, “if you hate me, I don't understand why you keep coming around?"
Eddie is frozen in front of him, a ‘deer in the headlights’ look in his eye, his mouth opens once and closes, but Steve keeps going.
"I mean, was this just some kind of weird game to you? Let's see how much we can stick it to old King-Steve? I heard you that night man," his eyes begin to sting as he yells, his throat tightens and the words waver slightly at the end.
Steve grits his teeth to keep himself from speaking, from revealing more than he wants to, he hasn't felt like this since Nancy called him Bullshit in the middle of that crowded Halloween party and isn't that thought a punch to the gut.
Steve shakes his head and turns his face away to pinch his nose so harshly he worries it'll bruise.
"So," Steve whispers, letting the fight drain out of him from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet, "what do you want, because I am not really up for whatever this is".
Eddie isn't looking at him anymore, his face is pointed at Steve but his eyes are trained on a point on the floor between them, his eyebrows furrowed.
Unbelievable.
"Look," Steve breathes out, he reaches up and presses the fingers of his left hand into his eyes, surreptitiously wiping away any evidence of moisture, and gestures behind him at the foyer, "if you want something just spit it out, otherwise I'm tired and I'm going to bed so--"
"I'm sorry" Eddie blurts out, he takes a step closer to Steve who steps back without a thought. Eddie winces at the movement and draws his arms around himself.
Eddie seems to hesitate, his eyes dart over Steve's face and once towards the front door before his expression flattens and his shoulders square in one fluid movement.
Steve's stomach does a little swoop as he remembers that Eddie nearly sacrificed himself to save Dustin, he wonders if his face held the same expression before he cut the rope.
"I'm sorry for what I said, I," Eddie swallows audibly and shifts his weight from foot to foot, "I was so sure of something for a really long time and it made me act like an ass".
"Sure of what?" Steve says, his voice nearly a whisper.
"How much do you remember about me from school?" Eddie murmurs eventually, there's a slight tremor running through his hands which tighten their grip on the sides of his jean vest until his knuckles stain white.
Steve shakes his head, there wasn’t much, but by the time he had heard whispers of the name Munson, he had been dealing with Hargrove, and Nancy, and Dustin's attempts at rehabilitating a demo-dog --he'd had more than enough on his plate at the time to worry about some metal-head that stood on tables in the school cafeteria.
Eddie's breathing stops and starts in short shallow hitching breaths and his face grows even paler than normal, he looks like he's seconds from passing out if Steve is being honest with himself.
Fuck.
"Hey, hey Eddie, come on breathe man," Steve says sharply, he moves quickly, keeping his hands up ready to catch him, just in case, as Steve leads Eddie towards the kitchen.
He helps Eddie sit down on a stool by the counter ledge and grabs a glass from the cupboard. Steve flits around the kitchen, distracting himself with getting Eddie water and a cool damp washcloth which he drapes over the back of his neck.
Eddie lets his head droop slightly with the weight of the towel and scoffs, muttering something under his breath; Steve's hackles raise of their own accord as he steps away from him.
"I'm just trying to help man, Jesus," he bites out, resisting the impressive urge to throw the other man out. Steve leans against the wall opposite Eddie instead and scowls.
"Christ," Eddie snaps as he grabs the cloth and brings it around to wipe his face, "I said, I can't believe I thought you were a Grade-A asshole".
Steve suppresses a flinch at the title, the tightness in his chest returns at full force.
"Thanks," Eddie mumbles, slumping in his seat as the anger seems to drain out of him. Eddie closes his eyes, holding up the towel, "how did you know that would help?"
He reaches for the glass in front of him, the slight tremble of his fingers the only remaining sign of Eddie's panic.
Steve shrugs, a small part of him wants to tell Eddie about the Russians.
How his sense of touch almost always helped to snap him out of an episode, whether it was Robin’s small warm hand on his cheek when things got too much, or a cool wet washcloth to wipe away the sweat from his brow after a waking nightmare. It was grounding, bringing him back to the present quicker than any other method he and Robin have tried in the last year or so since recovering from their time underneath Starcourt.
Steve’s not quite ready for that conversation though.
Eddie's watching, analyzing him the way Robin does sometimes and Steve realizes he must have been quiet for awhile, Eddie’s big brown eyes trace over Steve questioningly, but he keeps his mouth shut for now.
"You want to talk about it?" Steve says slowly, changing the subject. He half expects Eddie to tell him to shove it and get up from the stool to leave, pretending this conversation never took place.
He doesn't though.
Instead Eddie drops the towel on the counter and brings both of his hands to his face. He sits there, hunched for almost a minute solid before letting them drop back into his lap.
Eddie doesn't look at Steve as he starts to speak.
"I've lived with my uncle for a very long time," he says softly, the words almost too quiet for Steve to make out at first, "I moved in with him just before highschool".
Eddie swallows and licks his lips, "I told you a little bit about my dad already yeah?"
He raises his eyes to finally look at Steve, who nods again. It feels wrong to speak, like he would be interrupting.
"Well, he wasn't arrested till after I was in Hawkins, but I don't think I really felt safe until the day Wayne got that call".
Steve's stomach abruptly falls into his shoes.
Sure, Eddie's story about learning to hot wire had made Steve pause but he hadn't really thought more about that story beyond the ease with which Eddie brought the vehicle to life. He feels his chest twinge with shame this time and steps closer.
"Apparently," Eddie continues, slowly, carefully, "Billy Hargrove had taken it upon himself to tell everyone he could about me and my shitty fuckin' family".
"That uh," Eddie's wary eyes flick up at Steve once more, his expression tight, "that my dad kicked me out, woulda killed me if he could've".
Steve feels a chill roll up his spine at the words.
“And he wasn’t wrong, got all the details right somehow, even the one about me liking--" he trails off before wiping his left hand down his face while the right reaches for the towel again and begins fiddling with it.
Steve makes a noise, something soft and understanding, he takes a step closer to the counter, halting as Eddie looks up with open panic.
"But," Eddie continues with watchful eyes, "up until a few hours ago, I thought…you had done that".
And that is the last straw.
Steve doesn't think this time when he moves, he steps up to Eddie and before he can even open his mouth or flinch Steve has him wrapped in his arms.
It's awkward with Eddie still seated on the stool, his face pressed into Steve's collarbone, but he’s tense and Steve knows he's stopped breathing altogether.
"I'm sorry about your dad," Steve murmurs into the top of Eddie's wild hair, and he is. Steve knows exactly what it's like to have a dad that uses violence to get his way, that screams first and asks questions later.
Eddie shakes his head once, an incredulous expression pulls at his brow as he leans back slightly to look Steve up and down once more before he grins sharply.
"Yeah well," Eddie hums, "I'm sure he wasn't planning on having a fag for a kid".
Steve pulls away abruptly, but keeps his arms around Eddie's shoulders, his face briefly twisting into a harsh scowl. Steve doesn't catch the terror that flits across Eddie's face as he stands up to his full height.
"Don't call yourself that," Steve says harshly, "and don't use that word around Robin and the kids".
He lets go of Eddie entirely, and begins to pace, "Your dad is a piece of shit, who didn't deserve you and Billy Hargrove is lucky he's dead," Steve growls lowly, he takes a deep breath and holds it for a moment before releasing it slowly through his nose, he needed to calm down.
Like he said, Billy was dead, and the senior Munson was in some prison somewhere where he couldn't get to Eddie anyway, and not every problem required the use of his fists, Robin's words echo in his ear.
"What?" Eddie blurts out, surprise painting his face. He cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes at Steve as though he's never seen him before.
But there's a fire in Steve that has been burning for three years, ever since he tried to apologize to Jonathan and Nancy the very first time, and the flames burned even brighter a year ago when he stopped to take in Robin's pale, desperate, face as she told him about Tammy.
"And I know Hawkins is shit, trust me," Steve growls, he steps into Eddie's space again, "but there are people here who believe that there is nothing wrong with you, got it? You have us now".
"I, I know," Eddie mumbles, he's still watching Steve with something akin to awe in his eyes but it disappears as quickly as Steve spots it.
"Thank you," Steve says eventually, "for telling me, sorry if I freaked you out just now".
It's quiet in the kitchen for a beat, the only noise is the steady tick of the large wall clock beside the pantry and the hum of cicadas from outside the kitchen window Steve had forgotten to close that morning.
Steve nervously chews his lip, he's ruined it again, his second attempts at being cool about someone coming out to him even worse than the first. Robin had been nice about it at the time -and admittedly neither of them could quite remember the bulk of the conversation, but he does remember telling Robin her first crush was a dud and sounded like a dying Muppet.
So, he was two for two.
"You're sorry?" Eddie finally croaks, his eyes are larger than Steve has ever seen him and his chest stutters once as he breathes rapidly.
Steve reaches for the discarded cloth on the counter just to keep his hands from reaching for Eddie.
"You're sorry?" Eddie says again, his voice barely a whisper, "you're unbelievable is what you are".
Oh.
Steve sighs and blinks once, twice, before closing his eyes, "I know".
"Shut up," Eddie barks, "I'm the one who is trying to apologize and you're being so--"
"I know--"
"No! Let me fucking talk Harrington," Eddie shouts, and Steve feels his teeth click as he snaps his mouth shut.
He braces himself, better to get it all out on the table now, he thinks, let him say his piece and then they can all just move on -he can move on.
"I don't think I ever understood you, how you fit in with this whole group," Eddie mutters, his face tipped towards the floor, he brushes a handful of curls away from his face as they slide forward.
"I mean, I watched you in action, you ripped a fucking bat in half man," he laughs but his expression is shuttered, almost blank as he counts off on his ringed fingers, "you carried me out of hell, you listen to all the shit the kids say when they tell you stories, do you know how many people would just tune them out? You cooked for my uncle, you--Robin is your best friend? Robin?"
"Hey,” Steve says sharply with a glare, “layoff Robin, what are you even saying?"
"See!” Eddie throws his hands towards Steve emphatically, a wild look in his eyes,”that's what I’m talking about! Thats, it’s--okay it’s not coming out right," Eddie stands up from the stool but stays beside the counter.
He huffs out a small quiet laugh and shakes his head, his eyes never once leaving Steve’s face, "you're just, you're not who I thought man".
Steve crosses his arms, wrapping them tightly around his midsection and the Hawkins high logo in faded orange print,"I thought we already had this conversation?"
"Yeah well, I actually mean it this time".
"...Right,” Steve sighs tiredly, it's laughable really, just how wrong he and Robin had been.
All that time he thought they were growing closer, that Eddie had been his friend.
All those small moments over the last few months were nothing. Just two people with vastly different expectations of what they meant to one another.
Eddie’s face twists as the words tumble out at a mile a minute, "no, fuck, Steve, I can't, just--I don't," he grabs two handfuls of hair and yanks, hard, "I came here to tell you that I'm sorry, and I'm fucking it up.”
Eddie takes a deep breath before letting it all out in one smooth motion, "you're amazing, Steve, and I'm kicking myself for not seeing that before”.
He takes a step towards Steve but hesitates,spinning the rings on his fingers.
“I’m just, I’m really sorry and I hope that you can forgive me, that we can get back to where we were before?”
Steve feels himself smile mechanically, his chest tight and cold, he nods once and hears the words, 'yeah man,' leave his mouth. It's as though he's in a fog, everything feels so far away.
The smile Eddie gives him is brilliant, bright enough to light up the kitchen but Steve turns away and sweeps a tremulous hand through his hair.
"Yeah, Eds, we'll see each other around, we're good".
Eddie's smile falters slightly, but Steve is determined to end this conversation, go upstairs and crawl into bed for a millennia,
"I'll put in a good word with Mrs. Henderson," Steve continues, gesturing towards the abandoned tupperware on the counter, "I think she'd listen if I told her you guys needed a place for Dusty-Bun's club".
Eddie's face falls slightly, "What, Steve--"
"It'll be great, Claudia makes the best snacks and she honestly has a better basement than the Wheelers --but don't ever say that to Mike or you'll never hear the end of it," Steve says with a half smile as he walks towards the counter to grab the tupperware, he lifts it up to show Eddie before he reaches for the fridge door to put it away.
He's not hungry anymore anyway.
"But…" Eddie whispers, the tone catches Steve's attention but he can't look at Eddie right now, he just wants to sleep.
"I mean, you could come, you know," Eddie clears his throat and moves, the sound of fabric and shoes scuffing across hardwood makes Steve finally look up.
Eddie is beside him, his expression equal parts wary but hopeful, his big brown eyes fixed on Steve.
I thought Hell would freeze over? Steve thinks to himself angrily before biting the inside of his cheek.
They've just reached some kind of truce, Eddie apologized for fucks sake, he should just let this go.
But there is a heat now that simmers in his chest, it makes him want to scream. Steve swallows roughly and pushes the feeling down, trying his best to smother the flames into embers before they engulf him completely.
If friendship is all he is allowed, then Steve can work with that, he just has to reign things in a bit. He’s been playing fast and loose with his heart for so long and that it's become a dangerous game.
"Yeah, sure, I can," Steve mumbles tiredly, "I just have to check my schedule, Keith's been keeping me on my toes lately".
He shrugs and gives Eddie a wane smile before clearing his throat and turning away, "anyways man, I'm beat".
Steve moves towards the opposite hallway, he feels like he's escaping.
Eddie stands in the kitchen, shoulders drooped, but he nods and stuffs his hands into his pockets. He takes a step towards the foyer before turning sharply around.
"Harring- Steve," Eddie winces, "Steve, I also wanted to say we're sorry about the table, we didn't mean to scratch it all to hell that night and," he swallows roughly, "I can, we can chip in to…help fix it or whatever".
But Steve is already shaking his head, the ghost of a smile on his lips, "it's cracked actually--"
"What?!"
"No, no," Steve cuts in, he waves his hand to sweep away the panic in Eddie's voice, "Sorry, it's been cracked for awhile, you guys didn't have anything to do with it".
Eddie deflates in obvious relief, he laughs brightly, letting the last of his nervous energy flow out in a cackle.
"Fuck man, thank God, I definitely do not have the money to fix that shit," Eddie sweeps his hands into his curls to pull them away from his face, "why's it still cracked?"
Steve shrugs, "No one's bothered with it before, easier to just leave it I guess," he breathes out sharply through his nose in something like a laugh, "I wouldn't know how to fix it if I tried, never been good at woodworking".
Steve looks back at Eddie to find him staring, his eyebrows have pinched together and gone is the smile that shone nearly as much as the rings on his hands.
"Anyway, I'll see you around man," Steve hums, he doesn't need Eddie analyzing him, seeing something in him that he shouldn't. It’s a dismissal, one that Eddie seems to take well, despite the stiffness of his shoulders.
"Yeah, I'll see ya," Eddie says softly over his shoulder as he makes his way out of the kitchen, back towards the front door.
Steve waits until the door has closed, until he hears gravel under tires, until he's sure that Eddie is gone. His chest tightens once more with hot blistering anger that builds in his stomach before overflowing into his chest.
It drives him forward, the anger, the overwhelming heat building up his neck and pounding in his head, he's at the counter all of a sudden.
The plate he was going to use for supper is in his hands.
He raises it over his head and brings it down in a satisfying clash of shattered ceramic that explodes all over the hardwood.
Steve stands there, breathing raggedy in a daze.
Fuck.
The floor is covered in shards of varying sizes, he realizes belatedly he's only wearing socks but the thoughts come slow as though dragging themselves through mud.
Steve steps over the ceramic and walks to the pantry, he removes the broom and dustpan from the small hanger on the inside of the door.
Steve begins to sweep up the shards into a little pile, wincing as a few pieces here and there cut through the fabric of his socks and into the soles of his feet.
Steve doesn't realize he's crying until he sees the tears drop into the pile of plate shards and dust. Steve scrubs his arm over his eyes roughly and sniffs, his lungs stutter once as he chokes out a wet cough.
"Get it together," he says sharply to himself.
Steve methodically sweeps the rest of the plate into the dustpan and walks towards the sink before opening the bottom cupboard and tipping the pan into the garbage can.
He takes off his socks and examines the bottoms, there are a few small pieces of plate but no blood -Steve counts it as a win.
Steve leaves the broom and dustpan out and walks himself and the dirty socks out of the kitchen and up the stairs back to his room, his limbs feel heavy and the steady heat that had crawled up his neck has been replaced by a bone deep exhaustion that he longs to sink into.
Steve closes his bedroom door and steps towards the bed, allowing himself to tip forward and collapse against the comforter.
It's hard to move now, everything feels sore, from the tips of his toes, and the soles of his feet, to the top of his head. It's as though someone stretched him out between their hands and twisted and twisted until there was nothing left inside of him.
He's empty and that thought is terrifying.
Steve reaches out blindly for the phone on his bedside table, he manages to snag it by the cord and narrowly avoids smacking himself in the face as the hard plastic swings into his hands. He dials the Buckley's home number by memory and waits.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Mrs.Buckley, can you put Robin on?"
"Of course dear, but we are going to be having dinner soon so not too long okay?"
"Yes Mrs. Buckley,"
He waits, letting his pillow cradle the phone to his ear while the muffled background noise of the Buckley household trickles through the speaker, talking and television and laughter. It's a stark contrast to his own silent home.
"Steve?"
"Hey Bobby," he nearly whispers into the receiver, he feels himself melt into the mattress at the sound of her voice.
"Steve" Robin grumbles over the line, "I just left you like an hour ago, what's up?"
He chews on his lip and the words for a beat, considering how to even tell her, "Eddie, um, came by".
"What?!" Robin's voice squeals over the speaker and Steve almost drops the phone as he jerks it away from his ear, "what did he want? Did you let him in?"
"Yeah Bobs," he sighs tiredly, "he, he apologized--"
"Steve, we talked about this, you forgive people way too easily--"
"I know, I just…" he doesn't even know how to say it, that a rage burnt him up from the inside out until he was nothing but hollow embers and smoke.
"Robin, I was so angry,"
"Did you yell at him? What did you say?"
"No," he pushes himself up from the pillows, just catching the phone as it threatens to tumble from his shoulder, "he left, he, we talked about going back to normal, he…"
"Steve, what the hell did he say this time, you have to tell me, it's like the platonic soulmate law--"
"He didn't mean it the first time, when we talked in the Upside Down, that he thought I was a good dude, everything I thought for months has been a lie," his voice shakes as he continues, "he thought I spread this awful rumor about him back in highschool and he's never forgiven me for it, but I had no idea and I didn't do it -I know I was the fucking worst back then but Robin I promise you I didnt-"
"Hey, hey, it's okay, do you want me to come over?"
"No, your mum said you had dinner right away,"
"Steve, you’re way more important than dinner, that's so lame but it's one thousand percent true and I'll come up with something better when I get to your house, I'm leaving now".
Steve smiles as Robin hangs up with a soft, ‘see you in a minute!’ and sets the phone back on the receiver, he closes his eyes and tucks his face into the pillows for just a moment.
Steve wakes with a start to the sound of feet hitting the stairs two at a time, he looks over at the red numbers on his bedside clock and squints as copper sunlight hits his face through his bedroom window. It's nearly quarter after seven now and the exhaustion that had held his limbs seems to have loosened ever so slightly.
Steve doesn't move from the bed as Robin opens his door and pads slowly across the carpet. She says nothing in greeting and crawls onto the mattress. Steve shifts slightly to let her wiggle her way in between him and the bedroom wall.
"You asshole," Robin scolds softly, but there's still a smile in her voice, "you didn't even lock your front door, anyone could have come in here".
She wraps her thin arms around him from behind and Steve feels himself melt into the embrace.
"This have anything to do with the broom and dustpan on the counter?" she continues after a beat, "you don't really strike me as the sweeping type, it was like pulling teeth getting you to do it at scoops".
"Vacuuming is better" he mumbles into his pillow.
Robin is warm behind his back, holding him steady, and he finds himself reaching for her hand draped over his chest. The easy affection soothes the remaining burn in his heart.
"I smashed a plate," Steve says so softly he can feel Robin even shuffle closer to hear him.
She's quiet a moment, but she doesn't move away. If anything, Robin seems to drape herself over his shoulder even more, wrapping him up in a cocoon of warmth. Steve swallows roughly and turns his face further into the pillows.
"Nothing like a good plate smash," she mumbles sagely into his ear, "I think I read that in a magazine once, buy cheap dishes so you got something to smash when things just get too much," she pauses to sit up and turn him over to face her, "or maybe it was pencils".
Steve snorts as she mimes a violent snapping motion with her hands, and finally let's himself look at her.
Robin's smiles as his eyes meet her own, but there's still a flicker of worry behind her blue ones that she can't seem to hide.
And she isn't the only one who is worried.
This wouldn't be the first time he's acted out because of his anger. Steve would be the first person to admit he has a history of impulsive behavior, throwing himself fist first into situations before he can properly think it through.
He says things in the moment he regrets later. Hell, Steve vandalized private property because he was angry with Nancy for christ sakes.
But this was different, it felt different. This scared him. It was like he had taken a backseat for a moment, disengaged from the world and came back to himself surrounded by shattered ceramic and a deep feeling of shame.
He wonders, belatedly, if this is how his father felt when he would break things, when he would scream at Steve until he was red faced and shaking, when he would slam doors and smash the flat palm of his hand into walls or dragging his heavy class ring over the previously unblemished wood surface of his grandmother's table.
It's terrifying to think about.
"You want me to stay?" Robin whispers after a beat.
Steve breathes out sharply through his nose, "I'm sure your parents would love that," he wiggles his eyebrows and attempts a lecherous wink, laughing at the squawk Robin makes.
She grabs one of the pillows and catches him with a face full of cotton batting, "Hey, for a fake boyfriend I could do worse you perv".
It starts an all out war, Steve lets her get him into a headlock before he licks all the way up the offending arm holding him in place, she lets go with a cry of, 'Gross!' and swings the pillow into his face again.
By the end of it they're both laughing so hard they can't even sit up.
"Robin," Steve says softly.
They're laying on the bed, Steve with his head on the pillow by the headboard and Robin laying with her head closest to the end. She nudges his ear with her toe and he jerks away with a squawk.
"Yeah?" Robin groans as she slides her elbows towards her head to prop her torso up to look at him.
He lets his eyes trace over her, this girl who can make him laugh no matter what, who seems to read his mind with little to no trouble, who is ready to loudly defend him whenever possible.
He loves her so much.
Steve shakes his head, a prickly static charge builds in his hair as it rubs against the pillow, "just, you're just the best person I know," he says eventually, "don't tell Dustin I said that, but I'm glad I met you".
Robin mimes pulling a zipper closed over her mouth and flicks away the metal pull. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are suspiciously shiny at the tender admission.
"You absolute goof, do you keep onions under your bed," she snarks after wiping her eyes with her hand, she takes her wet fingers and wipes them off on his pajamas.
"I'm glad I met you too, and if you want to talk about," she half shrugs and tips her head towards his bedroom door, "you know, the plate thing, I'm here".
She reaches for his ankle resting next to her elbow and gives it a squeeze, "God, all the hair on your legs, it looks like you have a second set of pants on".
"Can't even be nice to me for longer than five minutes," Steve mutters as he steals the offending leg to sit up on the bed.
"I didn't bring anything," Robin says suddenly, looking over at the glaring red numbers on Steve's alarm clock on his side table, "what's a gal gotta do for some food and some pj's?"
Steve rolls his eyes and uncrosses his legs and throws them over the side of the bed, sitting up while he's at it, "you figured out a Russian spy code with your little genius ears but you couldn't snag a change of clothes before you left?"
"Hey, you called me, I came running," Robin tells him firmly, she sits up and scooches over to sit beside him with her legs draped over the edge and their thighs pressed together.
"I know Bobby, I knew you would," he says softly as she leans her head to rest on his shoulder, the weight at his side is warm and familiar and pulls a smile at the corner of his mouth.
Steve lets his head loll to the side to rest on Robin's, his limbs loose as a tension he hadn't realized had been trapped in his shoulders flows out of him.
***
Over the next few weeks things begin to ease back into some semblance of normal.
It's not easy.
Steve ends up having to trick the kids into going to the old ice cream parlor where Eddie is waiting for them to make a separate apology for their last Hellfire meeting.
Steve insists they're fine to the four sets of disbelieving eyes that scowl at both of them, he and Eddie have buried the hack-saw and there's nothing more to say.
"It's hatchet, Steve," Dustin says with exasperation and barely concealed glee, “you buried the hatchet, sometimes I think you say these things on purpose".
"Oh Dusy-bun," Steve hums, reaching out to catch Dustin with his arm and drag him into a loose headlock, "I absolutely do it on purpose".
It's a little awkward, Will still seems a bit wary of Eddie, but Mike, Dustin, and Lucas obviously missed their Dungeon Master.
Steve can't help the clawing guilt that sits heavy in his stomach from being at the center of their little fight, but a small irritable part of him is envious of how quickly they all fall back into step with one another without missing a beat.
"This place is alright," Lucas says once they've all settled into a hideous lime green booth with their treats, "but the butterscotch is shit compared to Scoops".
He's frowning at the half eaten cup in his hands like he's tempted to toss it right then and there.
"Ice cream is ice cream," Mike scoffs with a roll of his eyes, he reaches for the cup which Lucas snatches back just out of reach from grabby fingers.
"Hey, I never said I wouldn't finish it--"
"You're practically giving it away dude, come on!"
Eddie smiles and seems to finally relax into his seat, he leans across the table closer to Steve and Dustin and whispers conspiratorially, "What the hell is scoops?"
"Remember Starcourt?" Dustin chirps around a mouthful of Rocky Road before Steve can say anything, "Steve worked there, and Robin, that's how they met".
Eddie tilts his head and frowns, his eyes pan back and forth between Dustin and Steve, "the mall that burnt down?"
Steve tenses, his right hand curls into a fist beneath the table while the little wooden spoon in his left hand threatens to snap between his fingers resting on the sticky table top.
Eddie glances at him curiously before looking back to Dustin who continues to speak, oblivious to the strangers around them.
"Oh yeah, that wasn't a fire--"
"Dustin," Steve snaps, more loudly and harshly than he intends, but it catches the teens attention. Steve shakes his head once and gestures around the shop, they're one of three full tables of people but even still, their voices have been carrying all afternoon.
Dustin has the good graces to look sheepish before scowling at the ice cream in his hands, "no one's listening--"
"Not here--" Steve manages to spit out between his teeth before all four kids are arguing at the top of their voices.
"Don't yell at Dustin!"
"No one's even in here!"
"What, we can't even talk about this with each other now?"
"Fuck off Steve--"
Steve almost laughs, it's the first time in two weeks the kids have acted like their old selves instead of walking on eggshells around him, weighing their words carefully, avoiding bringing up Eddie or Hellfire and trailing off when he enters a room.
"Hey," Eddie says sharply, "layoff your babysitter alright, Jesus Christ guys".
And suddenly the spell is broken.
Lucas slowly puts down his cup and Mike rolls his eyes but seems to deflate in his seat, leaning into Will who frowns at Eddie slightly. Dustin crosses his arms across his chest and glares with a mutinous expression at the table.
Dammit.
"Okay, everyone relax, finish up and let's go," Steve sighs. He reaches over and tugs on Dustin's ever present cap with his right hand while the left hand, still holding his spoon, snags a little taste of Lucas's cup of butterscotch.
All of the kids start yelling again, but this time laughter rings out as the earlier tension melts away.
Steve looks at Eddie who smiles widely at him, relief evident in his big brown eyes; he can't stop the small grin that takes over his own face at the sight, even if it does make his chest ache.
They leave shortly after, the kids prattle on about some sci-fi movie that's caught their eye for the next trip to the Hawk Theater. Dustin argues that sequels never hold up while Will insists that as long as there are Aliens, as the title suggests, it should be just as good as the first.
Steve and Eddie follow just behind the group, Eddie slows down to walk in step with Steve.
"Sooo that was a little…intense," Eddie says, it's phrased more like a question and the way he's looking at Steve, like he's waiting for an answer for why the air in the ice cream place seemed to shift. He reaches for Steve's elbow with soft fingers that curl around and press into his denim jacket.
The kids have already piled into the beamer, Lucas snags the front seat since it's his turn --much to the irritation of Mike who 'never gets front seat dibs!'
Eddie swings in front of Steve slightly, letting his hand maintain contact at Steve's elbow, grounding them both.
Eddie's eyes narrow, just enough that Steve catches it, "You just…seem a little on edge or something".
Steve shugs and carefully pulls on a small neutral grin. It's comfortable, he's worn it before.
"Yeah man," he looks away from Eddie's concerned gaze, "it's all good, I'll see you later alright?
He keeps the tone bright. It's not his customer service voice, this is something he's carefully honed over years of sports injuries, smiling at teachers as they scolded him, or lying through his teeth to his dad after a particularly nasty screaming session.
It's light, and something he's never had to break out with Robin.
A small part of Steve was hoping he'd never have to use it on Eddie, but here they were.
"I gotta get the kids back anyway," it's not quite a lie but it's only three in the afternoon, and the words only seem to push Eddie a little further as his fingers curl more firmly around Steve's elbow.
"Steve," Eddie says again, but Steve is already pulling himself out of Eddie's grip, his hand falls away to hang limply at his side, silver rings glinting in the midafternoon sun.
Steve waves and makes his way to the driver's side door, ignoring the way Eddie's eyes follow him and the downward curve of his mouth.
He opens the car door and lets it shut, allowing the chaos of noise and teenage yelling drown out the guilt that followed him into the car.
"So," Dustin says from the back as Steve buckles himself in,"are you sure you guys are good?"
Steve pauses for just a second before he blinks and puts the key in the ignition, "yeah, 'course man, why wouldn't we be?"
Dustin is quiet for a moment, all of the kids are.
There is a strange, somber heaviness in the vehicle as Steve makes his way down mainstreet.
Mike seems off in his own stormy little world, glaring at the hands in his lap while Will looks out the window with a sad frown. Steve feel's Dustin and now Lucas watching him, their gaze enough to make him itch.
"You guys just seem different," Dustin insists, he crosses his arms over his seatbelt and leans back into his seat.
"You guys don't touch like you used to," Lucas says matter of factly.
Dustin snaps his fingers and leans forward once more to grab the back of Lucas's seat, "that's what it is! It's been driving me crazy!"
A dull ache throbs in Steve's chest as the kids continue to talk over one another, the volume gradually rising in the small space.
"Okay, first of all, I will crash this car if you all keep yelling," Steve barks over the four incessant voices, "Jesus, second of all, we don't touch each other--"
"Yes you do!"
"Um, have you met yourselves?"
"Jesus, it's like you're a pair of Octopuses!"
"If you're both sooo good why didn't you guys hug goodbye like you used to?"
"Enough," Steve says sharply, he signals right and slowly pulls off to the side of the road, letting the crackle of gravel fill the now silent vehicle. Steve grips the steering wheel hard enough that his knuckles have faded to white to hide the shaking of his hands.
"Look," Steve sighs, he lifts one hand away from the steering wheel to scrub harshly over his face. It catches on the hint of stubble on his cheeks.
"I appreciate you guys looking out for me, but I am an adult, and I can take care of myself".
"What about when Max saved you from Billy?" Mike scoffs, he ignores the elbow that Will throws into his side.
"Or when Erica and I had to rescue you and Robin from the Russians?" Dustin challenges with equal ferocity.
"That was different," Steve says with a scowl and a roll of his eyes, "I only got into those situations because I was looking out for you shitheads--"
"Exactly!!" Dustin crows with a smirk.
"Us shitheads stick together!" He raises his eyebrow like he's already won the argument and crosses his arms over his chest.
Steve sighs and lets his head tip back into the headrest, he looks into the rear view mirror at the three sets of eyes staring back at him before tipping his face to the side to see Lucas's unwavering gaze from the passenger seat.
"If I promise you guys that everything is fine for now, you'll drop it?"
The kids are quiet for a moment before Will says, "Party meeting, plug your ears Steve".
Steve considers just putting the car back into drive and continuing on their way, ignoring the ridiculous request.
But it's Will, and the youngest Buyers has finally realized his ability to weaponize his big hazel eyes and bowl cut to get whatever he wants.
"How is this my life," Steve mutters under his breath but does as he's asked.
He raises his hands to cup over his ears, muting the following low chatter around him. Steve hums a few bars of Dancing in the Dark to make whatever they're saying even more indistinguishable, because he's a damn good babysitter, before Lucas taps his elbow.
Steve shifts in the driver's seat, turning so he can see all of the beaming faces staring back at him. He feels his eyes narrow in suspicion.
"We'll drop it," Dustin tells him with a smile that doesn't waver once as he looks over to Lucas and then Will, Mike rolls his eyes though the smallest of grins tugs at the corner of his lips.
"If you agree to host Hellfire again," Lucas says with a sly smile, holding his hand out with wiggling fingers for Will to match the corresponding move with his own confident hand.
"Guys…"
"Come on Steve, you've got the best place for it and we'll make sure you have a good time!" Dustin leans across Mike who huffs and pushes him away, it doesn’t stop Dustin from clasping Steve’s driver's seat with his hands and squeezing the leather by Steve’s shoulder.
Steve holds in a scoff, doubting that they can really guarantee such a thing, especially if Eddie and the other Hellfire members will be there, but the kids are all doing their best impression of the youngest Wheeler, Holly, when she begs for piggyback rides.
"Fine," Steve huffs out, he feels a small smile pull at the corner of his mouth as the kids cheer.
"Yeah, yeah, if you really want to make me happy, one of you should learn to fuckin' drive".
agree with steve not forgiving eddie! how do you think it would go when they see each other for the first time after everything? like.. I feel like steve would just tell him it’s over for good but :O
Part one, part two, part three
The record label releases a statement, something to the effect of privacy concerns, not to misconstrue or blow things out of proportion because photos can be manipulated. There is no firm denial, but no confirmation either. It's all wishy washy bullshit.
It's like Steve's heart breaks all over again.
He doesn't speak to the press, despite redoubling their efforts to talk to him, Steve unplugs their home phone permanently, wraps it up in the cord and puts it in the back of the bedroom closet.
Eddie does try calling Steve's cell, but he never leaves a message, as though he knows they would go unheard.
After the initial visit from Wayne he ends up calling his de facto father in-law once a week. It's nice, it's the one good thing that has come out of this whole situation.
And Wayne doesn't seem to mind being their go between, especially since he's a lot less subtle than he thinks, asking pointed questions about how Steve is feeling, how he's handling the LOA.
It's a relief to say the least, talking to Eddie without talking to him, it allows him to breath.
It's quiet for about two weeks, the coverage of the photo and the story has dwindled significantly and the media seem to have moved on from talking about them, finally.
Steve's LOA is almost over, he's confirmed with Liz that he can return to the classroom next week as planned which leaves him in the highest spirits he's been in all month.
But of course it can't last.
The first time Steve sees Eddie is on Conan.
It's a Thursday night, Steve channel surfs absently. He's left the living room dim, the only lights from the television and the Chicago cityscape glowing through the living room window.
He lands on NBC for just a moment and freezes when he hears Gareths familiar voice speaking.
Gareth, Eddie, Jeff, and Grant are all seated on the set couch with Andy Richter. Conan asks a few questions about their tour, their recent resurgence in popularity from the movie, their favorite Marvel characters from the franchise that skyrocketed them back into the public scene.
Its a standard interview, Conan keeps it light, easy-going, not a single mention of the infamous photo.
Logically Steve knows this is most likely a mandate from the band's manager but it doesn't feel that way, it feels like a slap to the face if he's being honest with himself.
Did he imagine it? Had he blown this whole thing out of proportion? Maybe he was overreacting.
His phone buzzes on the coffee table he's left his feet on, Robin's face and 'Thing One', brightens up the room.
Steve moves his feet to sit up properly and he mutes the television with the remote before answering.
"Are you seeing this shit?" she growls on the line.
Steve laughs, "Hello to you too," he leans into the worn cushions of the couch and tries not to think of the second empty divot in the middle next to him, "yeah I'm seeing it".
"And they're not going to talk about it at all? Like what about journalistic integrity and all that shit?"
Steve rolls his eyes and snorts into the receiver, "I don't think Late Night counts as journalism Bobs--"
"Still," she huffs out.
Robin is quiet for a second before she says softly, "you okay?"
"No," he whispers, "but I think I'm the closest I'll be for awhile," he draws a heavy hand through his hair and ignores the cameras which have now panned to Eddie who looks pensive on screen.
He's not speaking, in fact Eddie hasn't said a word the entire interview. He looks tired, his normally pale face has turned sallow and drawn with deep purple bags under his eyes that even the show makeup has not covered.
Steve looks away from the screen and ignores the dull ache in his chest.
"I'm glad that it's not all over the news anymore," he admits after a moment, "but, its almost like it never happened".
Robin hums sympathetically on the line, "Twenty-four hour news cycle, they've probably found some new scandle to follow," she's quiet for another second, "he looks like shit".
Steve barks out a surprised laugh that trails off sharply, he chews his lip for a second, "is it crazy that I'm worried about him? He looks likes he's not sleeping--"
"Steve..."
"I know, I know, I'm am angry with him and I don't think that will go away any time soon, but look at him".
The camera angle switches to a wide shot of the whole group and Eddie stands out so starkly amongst the other band members that are put together, smiling, engaged in the conversation.
Verses the silent, pale ghost that Steve doesn't even recognize.
"Do not let that kicked puppy thing let him off the hook Steve," Robin says, the words are sharp but the tone is still gentle, "he hurt you just because you had a fight--"
"Maybe it wasn't that simple!"
"Steve..."
"I miss my husband Robin, I can't, I fucking hate that he did this but I miss him so much," he says, his voice wobbles slightly as Conan holds up a large version of Corroded Coffin's latest album on the desk before gesturing to the stage area to reveal their setup to start playing.
"I feel like there's something wrong with me," Steve says, giving voice to the smallest parts of himself that have been festering inside of him the last couple of days.
The longer they're apart, the longer he refuses to speak to Eddie to more these thoughts have been creeping in. Maybe he should just let it go, maybe he can eventually forgive him and they can move forward again.
It's countered again and again by the image, the kiss.
Imagining the two of them together, Eddie with this stranger. Did he call them Honeybee, the way he did Steve? Did he hold them after and whisper other sweet nothings, promises into their ears?
It's enough to turn his stomach.
"I don't know what to do, I can't exist like this much longer, the tour is going to be over soon and then what?"
"I don't know Steve, you're the only one that can make that decision, but," he can hear the small reassuring smile on her face as she speaks, "we'll be here for you no matter what you decide, I promise".
"Thank you".
"Anytime Dingus".
***
The second time Steve sees Eddie is a month after the Conan interview.
Steve's back at work and the kids seem happy to see him, though they are sad that the 'easy' sub days are done. He's glad for the routine once more, especially with the end of the tour looming on the horizon.
Steve has spent the last week fretting over what to do, he's talked to Robin and Dustin about it, weighing the pros and cons. He's talked to Wayne about contingency plans for the apartment, if he has space for one of them to go there.
Steve is fairly certain Eddie would go stay with Wayne willingly if he asked him to, but both of their names are on the mortgage and he'd rather be prepared for anything.
It's Gareth that calls him, his name lights up the darkened bedroom while the picture of Gareth and Chrissy and Steve and Eddie at their place for Thanksgiving two years ago flashes on the tiny screen.
It's late, almost two in the morning, but Steve is awake. He hesitates before snatching the device with shaking hands and swipes a hesitant thumb across the screen to answer the call.
"Hey Gar," Steve says quietly.
He sits up, letting the covers pool around his waist and stifles a small yawn with his hand.
"Oh, Steve, I...fuck is it good to hear your voice man," Gareth breathes out, he sounds surprised, nervous, "I wasn't expecting you to actually answer this," he trails off and clears his throat.
"I wasn't asleep," Steve shrugs.
There's a pause on the line, Steve can hear Gareth take a deep breath and the hushed words of someone in the background.
"I, God, Steve, I'm so sorry, I hate that we weren't there for you," he continues, and Steve can't help but agree with that sentiment.
It's certainly felt like the only one of his friends from Eddie's circle in his corner was Wayne, he hasn't heard from any of the band members or Chrissy since this happened and he can't say it hasn't stung.
"And I know you must hate us for this--"
"Gareth, I dont--" Steve tries with a small tired voice but Gareth barrels onward, the words getting faster as he speaks.
"I won't make any excuses, we should have done better by you and the fucking label knew exactly what they were doing," he breathes out again and this time its infinitely more pained, "and I hate to do this Steve, I know you already told him that you needed more time--"
"You're coming back?"
"Yeah, we fly in tomorrow actually," Gareth says softly, "and we just, well we wanted you to know".
Steve feels his heartrate quicken, he swallows harshly against the sudden lump in his throat.
Tomorrow? Tomorrow, with no warning, no notice, and suddenly Eddie would be back. He'd be coming home...
"I want to see him," Steve hears himself say before he can clamp his mouth shut, "I...can you tell him that, I need to talk to him?"
"Oh, uh, yeah, uh," Gareth stammers out, then the sound is muffled for a moment as though a hand has been placed over the receiver, lowered voices murmur in the background and Steve feels himself drag in a sudden breath, as though he had forgotten to breath at some point.
"Okay, Steve?"
"Yeah," he whispers into the darkness of his bedroom.
"He'll be there".
***
The clock ticks slowly by, interrupting the quiet of the apartment and every time Steve looks at the clock face it's still only been forty minutes since Gareth texted to tell him they've landed at O'Hare.
It's like the clock is mocking him, the minute hand holding court over the kitchen where Steve has planted himself with a full cup of, now undrinkable, tepid tea.
He initially debated offering to pick them up from the airport, but the thought of their first meeting being so public, the thought of camera flashes and more people asking questions was enough to turn his stomach.
Even now Steve isn't sure how he'll react when Eddie walks through that door, his hands shake slightly and a flicker of anxiety runs through his chest because what if he's not alone? If he brought Gareth with him, or Jeff as some kind of backup or shield from Steve's anger.
Steve scoffs to himself at the thought, they'd seen a lot of Steve over the years, he's sure this wouldn't phase them. Maybe they'd even stand aside and let Eddie take his verbal lumps.
Steve sighs and grabs the mug from the counter before walking it over to the microwave. He sets it for thirty seconds and waits with his fingers drumming against the door handle. He opens the microwave before it beeps and presses the cancel button to reset the time before he walks back to the counter and stool he had been perched on.
Steve steals another glance at the clock and curses, make that forty-five minutes since Gareths message.
The sudden sound of a key sliding into a lock snatches Steve's attention towards the entryway.
Eddie steps through, wheeling his suitcase in behind him, he lets his backpack fall onto the doormat and softly closes the front door behind him. Eddie looks even more tired than he had during the interview, thinner as well and Steve feels that familiar pang in his chest at the sight.
Neither says anything for a moment. They stare at each other unmoving, and then...
"Hi Honeybee".
That's all it takes for Steve to jump off the stool and stride through the kitchen to the foyer, he stops just in front of Eddie, takes in his shining eyes and the sharp downturn of his normally smiley mouth and Steve's last resolve snaps into pieces.
He launches himself into Eddies arms and tucks his face into his neck, it's the first time he's felt remotely normal in the last two months.
"I'm so fucking angry with you," Steve hisses but the words sound more like a sob than anything else.
"I know, I'm angry with me too," Eddie whispers into his ear, he holds Steve even tighter as he speaks.
"I just, you're the person I talk to, about everything and," Steve bites his lip and curls his fingers into the fabric of Eddie's t-shirt, "I couldn't do that, I didn't have you, you’re my person Eddie and you took that from me, and so much shit happened here, you dont even--".
He's fully crying now, so much that it's harder to speak, but Eddie is holding him so tightly he can't catch his breath.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Eddie says, his voice wobbles and wanes as the words tangle in Steves hair, "if I could take it back I would, I wish I could take it back Stevie believe me".
"It didn't mean anything, it didn't," he continues, raising one hand to card through Steve's hair as he does, "I don't know how to fix this," he admits so quietly its nearly lost in Steve's sniffles and hitching breaths.
"I don't want to lose you," Steve whispers into Eddies shoulder, the material of his shirt is soaked with tears and snot but he raises his face anyway to meet Eddie's own red rimmed eyes.
"Then you won't," Eddie whispers again, he sniffs and moves his hand to cup Steve's cheek, "we'll fight, we'll fight for it and I won't give up, I won't run this time".
"I promise".
There is so much more to talk about now, so much to apologize for, but for now, they hold each other in the foyer, letting the golden Chicago light morph into the bronze orange of sunset wash over them from the kitchen window.
There's quite a bit apparently so I will leave everything under the cut!
But first, hello! Linz here, I am currently writing for the Psych fandom with a focus on Shassie, but previously worked on several Stranger Things fics with a focus on Steddie. I have an AO3 as well and will link that here. My AO3 fics are all currently locked and visible only to registered users due to AI and predatory third party companies.
My Asks are open for prompts as well as questions, and general screaming about Steddie or if you just want to say hello!
This is an 18+ Blog so please keep that in mind!
Stranger Things
Multi-part Complete Works
Mean!Eddie Misunderstandings AU (You can only Remember What You Want to Forget)
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Read on AO3
Warm My Cold and Tired Heart
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Read on AO3
Season Two Halloween Party AU
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven , Part Eight , Part Nine , Part Ten (Final) Read on AO3
Cheating!Eddie Rockstar AU
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four
Always Quick and Never Painless
Part One, Part Two, Read on AO3
Essential Songs to Woo a Metal-Head (Prompt 53. I'm flirting with you!)
Part One, Part Two, Part Three
Multi-part WIP
In My Heart is a Memory (And There You'll Always Be)
Part One, Part Two Read on A03
Lost and Lonely, Just Like Heaven (Ghost!Eddie AU)
Part One, Part Two, Part Three Part Four
Steddie Breakup/Fix It
Part One, Part Two
The Mouth of the Wolf, the Eyes of the Lamb (Kas!Eddie AU)
Part One, Part Two, Part Three
You're On Your Own Kid (angst prompt 13 "why would you say that?")
Part One
One-Shots and Snippets
Ghost Eddie
Hard of Hearing Steve Harrington
Steve as a Dancer 1
Steve and the Fruity Four Dance AU
Steve as a Pianist 1
Follow up Steve as a Pianist
Steve, Eddie, and Robin Go to a Bar
Of Paradoxes and Parents (Read on AO3)
A Clear and Present Threat of Tongue (Read on AO3)
Just a Little Push (Read on AO3)
Ice Cream Sundaes and Cherry Lips (Read on AO3)
Complimentary!Eddie
Steve and Eddie's First Time
Steve Finds out About the D&D Game
Steddie Pride and Prejudice AU
Vampire!Eddie
It's Okay to Cry
Chocolate Kisses
Quiet Confessions
Original Fic - Hero and Villains solve problems with kissing
First Ever Spicy Fic (Steddie Mutual Pining)
Special Delivery
Psych
Multi-part WIP
Difficult Days
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six Part Seven, Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten Part Eleven Part Twelve or Read on AO3
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As tempted as I am to inquire about the part 2 of steddie break-up (I can't remember the part 1, I feel so bad), I gotta go with asking for Mean!Eddie Post Season 4 AU
I am loving it and so looking forward to the next chapter (can't wait to see how the two of them work it out)
Many kudos! 💜
Thank you for the push my friend! I am definitely writing and editing a little bit every day now and this 3rd chapter is sitting at almost 7K words so far and it is not done yet 😳 (at this rate for 2023 I think I could maybe hit 100K words written in one year -is that too lofty a goal?)
Mean!Eddie coming up!
***
Steve waves and makes his way to the driver's side door, ignoring the way Eddie's eyes follow him and the downward curve of his mouth.
He opens the car door and lets it shut, allowing the chaos of noise and teenage yelling drown out the guilt that followed him into the car.
"So," Dustin says from the back as Steve collapses into the driver's seat and buckles in,"are you sure you guys are good?"
(I know it's only the three sentences but now I'm super worried about spoilers haha!)
