Kira: And hmm what about Bakery AU bc Classic. Simon thinks he’s got an idea for an all new type of baked good and convinces Annas to help him try and create a proper recipe
*cracks knuckles* @afaintcloudyhaze
“I realise,” Annas said, staring at the sheet of paper on the table as though it might disappear if he willed it hard enough, “that this may be a stupid question. But does it absolutely have to be served on fire?”
“Nobody has to do anything,” Simon replied from his seat on the countertop, rhythmically kicking his heels against the wooden panelling. “But there’s baking and then there’s art, and this? It’s both, straight up.”
Annas took a seat, flipping the schematic over just in case there were answers to all his questions hidden on the back of it. “You realise that diagrams aren’t generally included in a pastry recipe, yes? They aren’t usually required.”
He could hear the grin in Simon’s voice. “Yeah, this masterpiece is pretty, you know, technical. Don’t want things going wrong because somebody folded it round instead of up, you feel me?”
“Yeah?” Still smiling, damn him.
“I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to answer me honestly here. Because we’re friends, and also because Cai will be sad if I die, and also also because if I do die, I will find some way to kill you from beyond the grave.” He turned around in the chair, resting his chin on the back of it, and looked Simon in the eye. “Ok?”
He shrugged, now fiddling distractedly with the lighter in his pocket. “...Well, your boyfriend being sad would make Mary sad, so. Go ahead!”
“Is this thing going to blow up?”
“Is there more of a possibility that it will blow up than anything else I make in the shop?”
That one took a moment of thought.
The kid was entirely impervious to any sort of disappointed parental/mentor-esque/I’m-a-slightly-older-adult-than-you-are-so-why-are-you-like-this stare, meeting it cheerfully with an enthusiasm he didn’t normally display in the kitchen without being offered something to taste.
Nevertheless, he gave in after a few seconds of silence.
“Ok, slightly? But charcoal is actually good for you, ok, and there’s this cherry rum glaze but all the alcohol burns off before you actually eat it, so that’s basically fine!” He pauses. “The HMX isn’t that necessary, but it’s super mouth safe and you only use, like, the tiniest bit so it should make it super light and airy once it’s finished.”
That one took a moment to parse. “Si. Si. How am I meant to find that kind of explosive in any sort of quantities? I mean, give me a month or two but–”
“Oh, nah, it’s good. I’ve got a case of the stuff about two blocks over, that’s kind of half the reason I wanted to make these. It’s just knocking around the place, and what am I gonna do with it? Blow up a mall or something? It’s an explosive you can eat, I’ve got other stuff for proper explosions.”
Annas closed his eyes. Opened them. Closed them again, just in case. Nope, he was still sitting there. “You are ridiculous. I am also, ridiculous, apparently, because I’m going along with this.”
“Seriously?” A beaming smile split Simon’s face, and he reached out to grab Annas’ arm and give it a shake. “This is going to be so so cool, I promise–”
Annas raised a finger. “One condition. I have to oversee, and you can’t feed it to anybody before I’ve okayed it. That’s two. Two conditions, then. So you don’t somehow poison a customer, and so if the shop explodes it’s someone else’s problem. Deal?”
“Fuck yeah, you kidding? Let’s bl– let’s be super careful and not blow shit up!”
“Saved it at the last minute there.” He looked over the schematic one more time. “You have a name for this thing worked out, or are you still working on it?”
Si ran a hand through his hair. “I was gonna go with ‘Cherry Bomb’, you know?”
(Hey fun fact folks, there is straight up an edible explosive that’s oven stable, the US mixed it with flour to smuggle it into China and I have no shame in admitting I want to try and eat it)
