Feb 4
Me reading the fanfiction I wrote for myself: hell yeah
Me having to write the fanfiction I want to be reading: hell no
Anyways I read my AF fanfiction and snorted
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Me reading the fanfiction I wrote for myself: hell yeah
Me having to write the fanfiction I want to be reading: hell no
Anyways I read my AF fanfiction and snorted
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Artemis Fowl II/Original Male Character(s), Artemis Fowl II/Original Character(s) Characters: Artemis Fowl II, Original Character, Sameer Crown, Orion (Artemis Fowl), Odysseus (Sameer Crown) Additional Tags: Book 7: The Atlantis Complex (Artemis Fowl), Touching, Flirting, Blind Character, I have not read book 7, made this for shits and giggles during class, Orion is based off general fandom potrayal lol, First Kiss Summary:
After all, why shouldn't Artemis' alter flirt with Sameer's alter? Two peas in a pod, perfectly snug together, Orion thought to himself humorously.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/85850686
A self indulgent self insert OC x Artemis Fowl Modern AU :)
Don't like, don't read, ya know.
A: What are you doing right now? S: studying. A: Are you sure? S: why would I not be? we have an exam tomorrow, you know that, right? A: I am well aware, I'm just surprised that you are aware. S: Fuck Off. A: I didn't mean to offend you-- S: Don't lie to me. A: Very well. Still, you don't look like you pay attention in class. S: sometimes I do. A: A commendable effort, I'm sure. S: wow. thanks for appreciating my valiant efforts... very kind and noble of you. A: You're absolutely welcome. Since you're studying, how much do you think you'll score this time? S: ..."this time"? A: I've checked your records from your previous school. S: how the hell do you keep finding all my information like this? A: Not the case at all. You've been surprisingly smart about your laptop for someone whose tablet I've already gone through. You can't be blamed for the poor cybersecurity of your school portal, though. That one's on them. S: surely it can't be that bad, right? A: You'd be surprised, S. S: well, since you've already seen my old grades, how do you feel about them? A: ... S: ... A: They are perfectly explainable by your lackluster attitude, so that's one thing that makes sense. S: thank you, A, that's the closet you've gotten to not insulting me in our conversations. A: Again, you're quite welcome. S: i'm going to kill you when i get to your fucking manor. A: I'll be waiting. Don't commit suicide in the exam hall, please. It'll be terribly inconvenient. See you tomorrow. S: i'll try not to, see ya.
[An excerpt from an unknown, earlier date by AF]
S: A is so cruel. he's telling me to stop reading my yaoi on the bus.
A: I only came to the bus talk to you, you heathen. Not watch you read explicit gay porn in public.
S: you fucking prude, they've barely kissed.
A: You've read that fanfiction 18 times this month alone. I know damn well how it goes.
S: why the fuck do you think i'm going read porn out in public? the explicit scenes are at the end and i read those at home.
A: S, they start out by making out passionately after being ambushed by some bandits. Are you serious?
S: making out is mild.
A: There's frottage during it. S, please.
S: ugh. fine.
A: Thank you. Now, about Darwin's theory...
S: No way. You couldn't start with that?
A: Starting with Darwin is only a temporary solution to making you put your tablet down. I needed a more permanent solution. No more yaoi on the bus.
S: but, A, we are yaoi.
A: In which circle of hell?
S: this one.
A: Please shut up. Respectfully.
S: there is not a single shred of respect present in your body today.
A: I don't think you deserve it today. S, I got on this public bus specifically for you. You know how much comfortable my Bentley is? How much less fuc- less cramped?
S: okay, okay, fine, you can go to school your usual way next time. I'll stay alone on the bus.
A: You have missed the point entirely.
S: which was?
A: You. Me. "Cool" car that you explicitly told me you like. Butler takes us to school. Together. In the car. Imagine this with a Bill Wurtz jingle if it helps you. There, I explained it in a way that even toddlers would understand what I'm trying to say.
S: alright, hoe, no need to be patronizing. i'll think about it.
A: Think about it?! Sa—
S: No names, remember?
A: I remember. No need to remind me.
A: As I was saying; Think about it?!
S: I think that is what I said, yes.
A: In what world is the answer 'No, A, I do not want to go to school with you in your comfortable and warm car, instead I'm going to walk out in the cold to the bus stop and freeze my arse off'?
S: So bri'ish.
A: You do not want to be caught dead saying that to any other Irishman in this country. I repeat, never ever say that again.
S: oh, right... fuck me. sorry.
A: I'd rather not be fucking you.
S: DON'T USE MY OWN LINES AGAINST ME.
A: I'm sorry, is it any funnier when you do it? Do you see how I feel around you?
S: what makes you think i care about your feelings?
A: ...I love how honest you are. It makes our friendship so much more easier.
S: O.O
S: OoO
S: oOo
A: What?
S: you admitted we're friends.
A: ...
A: So?
S: Ah. Classic evasion. Doubling down on it to seem casual.
A: We are, though. You told me we were friends.
S: i did say that... i didn't know you you agreed.
A: When have I not agreed with you?
A: Quite literally think about it.
S: ...
S: aww, my baby's all grown up and admitting his feelings!!
A: Go back to hell from whence you came, foul fiend.
S: he's cringing about it but at least he did it!! character development!!!
A: You know, this is also a sort of evasion tactic. You bring the spotlight of the conversation to me to not think about the fact that we get along too well.
S: ...
A: Didn't expect me to catch on, did you?
A: I'm always one step ahead.
S: Fuck off. I'll take the bus.
A: We will see about that. Actually, I promise you, S, you will end up in my car one way or another. Butler would love to meet you, even if he doesn't say it.
S: that sounds vaguely threatening...
A: Good.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
A: He wasn't joking. He did it. He really did. He manipulated the teachers into sharing the wifi password. Wait, that wasn't even the teachers. S, what the hell did you do?
S: im not very good at hacking, but i have plenty of hate in my heart for you to get what i want.
A: Scoundrel.
A: I wasn't really going to take away your internet. Besides, you have a whole 30 GB of downloaded data. You would've been fine.
S: i know.
A: Then why?
S: to spite you.
A: I loathe you.
S: if you loathe me, then perhaps i should stay at home this afternoon?
A: You wouldn't. Don't you dare.
S: ah, gotten attached, have you?
A: Don't be ridiculous.
S: so that is a yes?
A: Fine, stay at home. Play video games all day like the homebody you are.
S: OH, LOOK AT WHO'S TALKING ABOUT BEING A HOMEBODY. has your skin been allowed to be kissed by the warmth of the sun since the 1800's, you pale ass vampire looking motherfucker?
A: I hope all that baby hair somehow manages to cover up that five-head of yours.
S: okay you ghoul type bitchass, wanna go? you sure you wanna say all that with that weak ass body of yours? your "Oooh, i can't even walk for more than 30 minutes," moaning ass wants to go?
A: To where? The outside? The place with grass? I can't imagine you going there.
S: Your entire argument is extremely hypocritical.
A: I know. I just like pissing you off.
S: ...
S: ...
S: i've raised a monster.
A: You're coming to my house whether you like it or not.
S: i WILL be snitching to your parents.
A: Unfortunately for you, they know exactly what I'm like so it'll make a negligible difference.
S: fuck. i forgot some parents talk to their kids.
A: They try their best with how I am, I suppose.
S: you're perfectly fine...
A: I think you're the only one in this world that has ever genuinely believed that.
S: it's true.
A: I will not be getting sentimental with you, don't try to make me.
S: im not???
A: Just go to sleep. I'll post it.
S: oki.
A: See you.
A: I want everyone to know S has the most baby-like and ridiculously effortlessly curled baby hair when he puts his hair half up to get his bangs out of his face. The bangs are then replaced by these five perfectly sectioned (the middle one is even centered! The audacity!) baby hairs that curl in a way that makes him look like a doll. Literally just imagine him. The top of his hair is sleekly pulled back into a very (lazily made and half undone, he won't even let me fix it,) bun and the rest is loose and till his shoulders. He looks like if a samurai was cute and brown and...
S: WE ARE NOT POSTING THIS ON THE BLOG
A: S, you may have made the blog but I am the real technological wizard here. This will be posted regardless of how hard you try to delete the draft or try to sneak into my house to steal my laptop. Or who knows, maybe it's on my phone? Or maybe my PC? Would you have enough time to de-code my cipher before I get you? By the way, the ciphered text is actually the python script. I'm so happy you don't know any coding languages. It would've been a lot more harder to fool you.
S: psycho. i'll fucking scale the walls of your manor.
A: My dear Butler would shoot you down if you tried.
S: no, he wouldn't.
A: ...Okay, true, but still, doesn't solve your coding problem.
S: i have my ways. i have figured it out already
A: You always do. I wonder when you'll finally tell me?
S: keep dreaming, boy genius.
A: I won't have to dream if you actually scale my walls.
S: is that a euphemism?
A: NO?
S: you sound unsure.
A: NO.
A: That was a question mark at the utter stupidity of that question.
S: sure, sure, cover it up.
A: Nothing is being covered up.
A: Back to the point.
S: i see no point. post it, if it means so much to you. But from now on i shall also post whatever the hell i want.
A: Consider it done. I know you're not stupid so I'll trust you on this one.
S: Big Mistake.
A: ...
A: You're bluffing.
S: am i?
A: Absolutely, you are.
S: and what if i'm not, hm?
A: Then no more internet at school.
S: haha no wait i was 100% bluffing
A: That's what I thought.
S: ...
S: Is it? I don't like your smugness. Fuck you. I'll get my own means.
A: Good luck, dear S.
S: Tell me a pick up line.
A: What?
S: (slowly) Tell me a pick up line.
A: I thought we were going to study, not waste our time doing—
S: You don't know any, do you?
A: Now, tell me why I should know any in the first place? Do you think I like that type of moronic flirting?
S: Well, no, but I think nowadays, it's more about creativity and comedy than literal flirting. Think of it as displaying wit.
A: Alright... You're like the Cas9 to my CRISPR?
S: (smiling faintly) ...You're lucky it works because I understand it. Besides that, it's pretty clever.
A: Hah. Good. I wouldn't flirt with someone who can't even understand the basics of genome editing.
S: Damn, high standards much?
A: Of course.
S: I would expect nothing less of you.
[Verbatim transcription by AF]
(S: is this what we are going to do on this blog?)
(A: Partly, perhaps.)