S: A is so cruel. he's telling me to stop reading my yaoi on the bus.
A: I only came to the bus talk to you, you heathen. Not watch you read explicit gay porn in public.
S: you fucking prude, they've barely kissed.
A: You've read that fanfiction 18 times this month alone. I know damn well how it goes.
S: why the fuck do you think i'm going read porn out in public? the explicit scenes are at the end and i read those at home.
A: S, they start out by making out passionately after being ambushed by some bandits. Are you serious?
A: There's frottage during it. S, please.
A: Thank you. Now, about Darwin's theory...
S: No way. You couldn't start with that?
A: Starting with Darwin is only a temporary solution to making you put your tablet down. I needed a more permanent solution. No more yaoi on the bus.
A: In which circle of hell?
A: Please shut up. Respectfully.
S: there is not a single shred of respect present in your body today.
A: I don't think you deserve it today. S, I got on this public bus specifically for you. You know how much comfortable my Bentley is? How much less fuc- less cramped?
S: okay, okay, fine, you can go to school your usual way next time. I'll stay alone on the bus.
A: You have missed the point entirely.
A: You. Me. "Cool" car that you explicitly told me you like. Butler takes us to school. Together. In the car. Imagine this with a Bill Wurtz jingle if it helps you. There, I explained it in a way that even toddlers would understand what I'm trying to say.
S: alright, hoe, no need to be patronizing. i'll think about it.
A: I remember. No need to remind me.
A: As I was saying; Think about it?!
S: I think that is what I said, yes.
A: In what world is the answer 'No, A, I do not want to go to school with you in your comfortable and warm car, instead I'm going to walk out in the cold to the bus stop and freeze my arse off'?
A: You do not want to be caught dead saying that to any other Irishman in this country. I repeat, never ever say that again.
S: oh, right... fuck me. sorry.
A: I'd rather not be fucking you.
S: DON'T USE MY OWN LINES AGAINST ME.
A: I'm sorry, is it any funnier when you do it? Do you see how I feel around you?
S: what makes you think i care about your feelings?
A: ...I love how honest you are. It makes our friendship so much more easier.
S: you admitted we're friends.
S: Ah. Classic evasion. Doubling down on it to seem casual.
A: We are, though. You told me we were friends.
S: i did say that... i didn't know you you agreed.
A: When have I not agreed with you?
A: Quite literally think about it.
S: aww, my baby's all grown up and admitting his feelings!!
A: Go back to hell from whence you came, foul fiend.
S: he's cringing about it but at least he did it!! character development!!!
A: You know, this is also a sort of evasion tactic. You bring the spotlight of the conversation to me to not think about the fact that we get along too well.
A: Didn't expect me to catch on, did you?
A: I'm always one step ahead.
S: Fuck off. I'll take the bus.
A: We will see about that. Actually, I promise you, S, you will end up in my car one way or another. Butler would love to meet you, even if he doesn't say it.
S: that sounds vaguely threatening...
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