Children Of Our Own?

In our culture there seems to be an underlying feeling that the relationship between an adoptee and adoptive parents is disjointed. The questions that adoptive families field appear to leave an impression that there is an impermeable, invisible barrier preventing adoptees and adoptive parents from being able to have a fully authentic attachment. I am not sure how many times I have been asked if I…

The simple fact is that these “negative” feelings about adoption DO exist and are VERY REAL. And while I understand that society and the media and the adoption professionals have not prepared you for this, if you are choosing to enter into the world of adoption, you actually don’t get to pick and choose a version of reality that you like best. Again, you can choose not to listen and hear them, but it’s all still here. We are not making this stuff up.

In light of National Adoption Month this November, we would like to encourage everyone to spread the word about Adoption, especially how to use words and phrases correctly.

Instead of saying: real parent, natural parent, real mother, natural mother, real father, natural father, real family, natural family

Use words such as: Birthmother, Biological Mother, Birthfather, Father of the baby, Biological Father, Birthparent or Biological Parent

New Post has been published on http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/my-conflicts-in-americaadopts-and-candadadopts/

My Conflicts in AmericaAdopts and CandadAdopts

 Still No Hard Answers to Friend or Foe; Maybe it’s Neither?

So one day, I was Googling different adopting keywords as I often might do. This is the bane of being a trained SEO professional and blogger. I worry about my keyword rankings. Anyway, I saw a new URL coming up above me for “Birthmother Blogs”.

Now the first listing is the New York Times and that’s Ok for two reasons. One, it’s the mutherfucking New York Times and they will out rank anyone as they should. Second, I wrote the article, so essentially, it’s still my listing. I move on.

But then, after the NYT, is AmericaAdopts. com, before this site and Lorraine’s (Birth Mother) First Mother Forum. (usually FMF and MOTL go back and forth between #2 and #3- all good)  So I follow the link to see this “birthmother blog list” and, like any  good SEO, see if I can get a link there.

Pleasantly Surprised America Adopts?

I see this list of, well, birthmother blogs. And I am already on the list and wow, so are a lot of other really GOOD blogs. Like not all rainbow farts and unicorns blogs, but real adoption truth blogs.  Now, my link happens to be the old one to Musings of the Lame when it was hosted on Blogger, so now there is a big redirect. In SEO world, that’s not good. So I do what any professional like myself should, I send an email with the new clean URl and a better, more keyword rich name, to their info email.

Meanwhile, I continue to look at the site. What is this “America Adopts” site anyway?

I am already well trained to ignore the lovely smiling photos of hopeful couples waiting to adopt. There are many of them, so lots of glancing about for me, trying to find a safe place to rest my eyes. I scan for copy, rather than cheesy grins, and pass over the glorified bios that shout “Pick me, Pick me!”.  It’s all bright and shiny. Everyone is happy with their best face forward. Why? Because  America Adopts is NOT an adoption agency, it’s an “adoption meeting place”.  Whaaaat…?

Think Dating Site, But For Knocked Up Chicks

Yes, one of the nasty side effects of social media is this whole “adoption social networking” thing.

I have seen quite a handful of these sites popping up in recent years. You know how back in the day, if someone on Adoption.com posted they were “Pregnant and Thinking Adoption”, they would get like 200 private messages from the hopeful parents? And you know how people became to understand that this was both overwhelming to a confused woman and also, you know, perhaps, unethical and sites started staying that it was NOT allowed anymore? And you know how everyone keeps on saying that you can avoid agency fees,  rather than demanding that agencies take the huge profits out of adoption,  by going down the “private adoption route?   Yeah, that all gave birth to these type sites. It’s a legitimate place to troll for babies, but it’s flipped so the birthparents get to do all the picking.

OK, stop vomiting for a hot minute.

I go to the “pregnant?” pages first as I can usually tell fairly quickly what kind of place I am at; friend of foe?

Is This Accurate Information on AmericaAdopts?

Now granted, it’s NOT perfect, but there is actually some bits of realism in these pages! Better than most other “Information about Adoption” sites out there! I mean when have you seen sentences like these that are NOT on one of “our” blogs or sites?

Most people choose adoption as a result of an unplanned pregnancy. But it’s not their first choice. They usually come to it indirectly, after exhausting their other aptions like terminating their pregnancy or parenting.

But no matter how you look at it, adoption still involves pain and loss.

As an expectant parent who is considering adoption, the process is free for you, whether go through with your plan or not.

Over time the pain may fade, but it never goes away. On birthdays, family celebrations, and life’s milestones, it tends to get more acute.

Again, it’s not perfect, but for once, I see at least a real attempt at using non coercive language and truthful adoption information. There is no “Birthmother ” this and “birthmother” that when speaking to the pregnant ones.  Even the “Do’s and Don’ts“  page has some accurate bits in there.

So, I go over to the “Hoping to Adopt” section and check to see if their language or vein changes much. And I am still kind of impressed to see some truthful information given out to prospective adoptive parents, such as this “Signs She May Change Her Mind”

And then, because I’m still a bit, wow… look at this list. I go post it on Facebook.

To wit, it is pointed out by Triona that  it might be a good Birthmother blog list, but there isn’t an adoptee blog list. Of which, when I get a reply email from Lawrence Morton, the founder of AmericaAdopts,  I mention the Adoptee Blog part. Now at this point I am being very nice to Laurence, because the site, it actually isn’t as horrible as many adoption sites are. So he’s nice back and we’re rather chummy  and all. He asks me if I could link to the site and I say:

“Funny.. I was just thinking.. Oh, I don’t think I CAN link back to the site.. I was expecting it to NOT fit my personal criteria of “truthful” information, and I am really happy and surprised to see that I am wrong.  I give you a wow. In fact.. I think.. while I am not in any way a proponent of adoption, you are getting some things right.. and you get more than a link. You get post!”

Yes, we have already established that I am open and trusting to everyone. Yes, we know that I am a horrible “anti-adoptionist” for talking nicely to people as I should immediate tell all to just fuck off.  I’m a suck up. I got a fence up my ass. Call me Miss Perma Wedgie Pants. Yadda yadda. I got more. Shush.

The Adoption Hive Mind: Strength in Number

Anyway, back on Facebook , we continue to have a lively discussion about WHY this seemingly I-benefit-from-adoption-website might be interested in having real accurate information on their website. I’m not going to pull the whole thing here as it is long. If you want to read it, then go to my personal timeline and find the posts from July 5th. I have highlighted the discussion.

So first we have the fact that they have no adoptee blogs, and Laurence’s answer to that “I’ve found that most of our readers are hopeful adoptive parents interested in open adoption, so that’s more or less who our site caters to. Most of the adoptee bloggers that I’ve come across write about closed adoptions and are not really interested in sites like ours to begin with,” was deemed kind of lame.

I will be fair and report that he also said,  “That said, if you know of any who have experiences in open adoption or write about it, please let me know. I’ve been looking for their blogs for a while and would love to add them to our site”.

Then, Danielle shared her experience writing a guest post for AmericaAdopts. It did not go smoothly, even though she had a truthful story to tell as there was editing that twisted her words  and change the meaning. There is a complete breakdown of the edits made by AmericaAdopts on her  birthmother post as well. And I was also warned: “The guy who runs it seems super nice, but he definitely was a monster to deal with in the end. I had to block him completely since he was being so nasty.”

And then more jewels of insight and wisdom: “They also spam blogs around about the time national adoption month happens asking bloggers to promote the adopters.”

First Mistake? Messing with the Community

I really do wonder if these folks realize that we ACTUALLY TALK TO EACH OTHER? I mean, I probably would have just  keep harping on the lack of adoptee blog list and found a way to make sure one was included if I hadn’t heard about the other behaviors.  But, my spider senses are now tingling and I want to know the deal. What’s the story behind this AmericAdopts Website?

I do what I do best when it comes to Adoption. I dig. I google. And I share what I find.

Who is Lawrence Morton?

Basics are easy to find.  Lawrence Morton is an adoptive father to two children from Toronto. He is a co-founder of this AmericaAdopts and its Canadian counterpart CanadaAdopts. Canada is clearly the first site. It looks much older design wise and is peppered with “birthmother”. I found an 2009 article that states  ”His site’s been up since 2001 and makes about six matches a year.”

Interestingly enough Lawrence is also on the board on The Adoption Council of Canada. I would say that perhaps the ACC is the Canadian version of the NCFA, but they seem to be MUCH more enlightened and aware of real issues, support open access, etc. So not an issue, really.

Google fails me soon after this. Even looking up more information on “AmericaAdopts” yields little except some clear attempts at listing the site all over the place. I call that “acquiring your internet real estate”. It’s a branding, online reputation, SEO link building tactic.  I’m pretty sure Lawrence knows about SERPs and cares about his rankings, too.

So I move on.

I Follow the Money

Even if we give the site the benefit of the doubt and take what is said at face value  (AKA He believe in open adoption, wants to make it easier for folks to connect, wants to be honest and truthful); I know that it’s really hard to spend all this time for no value.  Where’s the connection? Why is Laurence doing this? What is he benefitting from all this “connection”. Like any good dating site, someone pays for the privilege of the hooking up.

America Adopts offers the following services for hopeful adoptive parents:

Find A Family registry:  which is those happy smiling parent profiles! Created and put online at $25.00 a month.

Adoption Profile Website Services: You send them pictures and info and they make a PAP site for $495.00

Adoption Profile Writing : Another $75.00 for a one hour consultation on how to make you profile more appealing.

Networking Services: Another $75.00 for a hour consultation coming up with “outreach”  including “recommendations about how to create relevant content that will resonate with prospective birthparents”

Adoption Profile Video Service:  for $345.00 they will take your images, make them int a 2 or 4 hour video and host it on their YouTube channel for a year.

What’s the Cost of Baby Hunting?

So let’s pretend that a happy smiling couple is longing to provide a forever home to a child and they think “Let’s be Proactive” and sign up for all these great professional services!

They have their profile hosted for a year at $25.00 a month which totals $300.00 a year and all the others come to $987.00; so each couple that signs up is out $1,287.00

There looks to be 28 couples hosted there right now.  That’s $700.00  in the USA.

Canada has different pricing ranging form $325.00 to $635.00. The Canada site does not have a nice list where I can actually count the number of couples, but a lousy flash image rotator and it looks like some couples are shown more than once? In any case, I counted at least 45 before they all became a blur. So 45 at the minimum of 325.00 is over 14K.

Is Laurence getting rich from Canada and America Adopts? I don’t think so, but I am not done yet.

I just happen to notice this:

  IAC? You can’t mean Independent Adoption Centers, now can we?? AdoptionHelp.com?  Why yes, there must be something going on there.  In fact, I found this 2012 blog post by “lmorton” interviewing Adam Pertman. And the link on the author page goes right back to AmericaAdopt.com.

So, at this point I can’t dig up another damn thing. So I go back to my handy dandy email and I ASK him! I know I am crazy like that! Here’s the text of my email questions and Lawrence’s answers:

Q: I was looking things over as I was planning on getting a post up this week with some juicy links like you asked. I hope you don’t mind, but I have a few questions. What exactly is the relationship between America Adopts and the Independent Adoption Centers? If a PAP is an IAC client, do they get your services included with their special log in?  Are you a blogger for the IAC or was that just a onetime gig for promotional sake?

A: We’re not affiliated with the IAC or any other agency. We were invited by the IAC to do a promotion with them, which actually ends tomorrow . ( 7-15-13)

Q: How come there is such a different in pricing for US verses Canada sites?

A: The disparity in prices between the two sites is because it costs a lot more to run Canada Adopts!  Because America Adopts! is on WordPress I can do a lot of the content management myself. Canada Adopts!, however, has an older operating system and is a much larger site, and everything needs to be outsourced to a programmer and/or designer.

Q: I counted 28 profiles on the US site. Do you have numbers for Canada? The flash was making me crazy. I am assuming CA was first. When did the US site launch? And do you have plans to update CA so it reads more like the US site on WP?

A: Canada Adopts! was created in May 2001, America Adopts! in November 2011. And yes,  we’re currently in the process of updating Canada Adopts! to WP.

Q: I found a 2009 article that said CA has about 6 “matches” a year… do you have more accurate numbers?

A: There are currently about 50 profiles on Canada Adopts! We average about 6 matches (that result in placements) a year, or just over 70 over the last 12 years.

Q: You seem to be a very hands on guy. Am I wrong to think that you are actual building the sites? Is this the full time day job? Or does something else pay the bills? I get the sense that you might be more like me; just a passionate geek running the whole show.

A: And no, this isn’t my day job. As for being a “passionate geek,” I don’t know if I’ve got the computer skills to describe myself as a geek just yet (other people designed and built the site), but I am passionate about what I do.

Before I read the email, I received a Google alert informing me that there was now, indeed, a new Adoptee Blog Page: http://www.americaadopts.com/12131/adoptee-blogs/

My Final Evaluation of America Adopts and CanadaAdopts

I can’t COMPLETELY throw  them under the bus and cry foul. While I really do not like to see anyone profiting off of the separation of mothers and children, I am not ready to say that Lawrence is a “bad person”.  I see an adoptive father who naturally has a overall positive view of adoption as a good thing, but is not completely unaware of the risks and realities of adoption. We might say “foggy” but often an adoptive parent has the most invested in “losing” should they completely come out of the fog and declare adoption as an unethical business.  I will say that it is at least refreshing to find an adoption business and adoption truth at least trying to occupy the same space.  It’s not perfect by a long shot, but I give an E for effort. Even if one is in the actual business of adoption, I give kudos for being honest.

On the opposite side of that is that this could possibly be seen as a way that “adoption professionals” exploit the venerable position of adoptive families desiring a child to get into their pocketbooks.  I am not sure if 70 matches in 12 years is a good ratio, but I did not see any complaints registered against them by AP’s either.  So, I’m not saying that this is not viewed as a worthwhile service as, unfortunately, the adoption industry does encourage prospective adoptive parents to “be proactive” when ” finding their child” so these kind of online promotions , “We’re hoping to Adopt” websites, and sharing of ” adoption situations” through social media are more and more the norm. Based on my professional opinion as a web designer and former director of social media, the fees for these services are not unreasonable.  Yet, I dislike, still, the overall premise. If adoption was truly child centered, then we would not be creating these situations, but rather looking for families for children that really need them, not the pregnant “matching”. Of course, that goes back to my overall belief that mothers do not WANT to relinquish, but feel that they have no other choice.

I am cautionary at saying that there is a complete understanding overall and can see that in some ways, through the use of our blogs and guest posts, the community is being “mined” for our carefully shared stories to further promote a business  whose goal is eventually to match at risk mothers considering adoption to the PAPs that desire the children.  That is based on other folks interacts, not my personal dealings.

Again, I have mixed emotions about even posting this piece. I don’t want to make an enemy out of anyone, but the whole premise of the “Adoption Dating Service” is kind of yucky, even if the intentions are “good” based on a certain perspective. I don’t want to seem like I am endorsing such a business and promoting adoption, but I have to be fair and say that I have seen much much worse out of 98% of the adoption business websites out there, so the truth is appreciated and encouraged. So saying outright that they completely suck will not help that overall goal of getting other sites to follow the lead! And I as I said, my interactions to date have been pleasant, so I have no personal grudges at all.  And I do like that the suggestion to also feature adoptee blogs was put into action, but I do not like the editing stories I heard.

Use Terms Such As:

Birthmother, Birthfather, Birthfamily, Birthparent, Birthchild:

These words describe the people who conceived and gave birth to a child, and their families, as well as the child's relationship to their birthfamily. Remember that all of us have birthparents, however, not all of us live with them.

Parent, Mother, Father, Mommy, Daddy, and Child:

These words describe the members of the adoptive family. It isn't necessary to say adopted child or adoptive parents unless the situation specifically centers on adoption.

Make an adoption plan, Choose adoption, Arrange an adoption, Place a child in an adoptive home:

These terms acknowledge that the birthparents were responsible for and active in making this decision.

Parent her child:

This phrase is used to express when a birthparent decides not to choose adoption.

Avoid Terms Such As:

Abandoned, Surrendered, Released, Relinquished, Gave up for adoption, Gave away, Adopted out, or Put up for adoption:

These pejorative terms don't truly describe the ways in which most adoption plans are created. These terms only serve to give adoption a negative connotation. It is important that we choose more positive words to describe adoption if we want more women and men to consider adoption as an option. These words also affect how a child will look at themselves and their birth history.

Real parent, Real mother, Real father, and Real family:

When used to describe the brithfamily, these terms suggest that the adoptive family relationships are artificial and temporary.

Natural parents, Natural child, one of your own:

These terms imply that the relationships in an adoptive family are not as strong or lasting as the relationships created by birth.

Keep her child:

When describing biological families do not use negative words such as:

Real parent

Natural parent

Real mother

Natural mother

Real father

Natural father

Real family

Natural family

Try these instead:

Birthmother

Biological mother

Birthfather

Father of the baby

Biological father

Birthparent

Biological parent

Words hurt, and learning the positive adoption language can help stop the negative views on adoption.

New Post has been published on http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/a-backwards-stinking-mess-with-new-michigan-adoption-legislation/

A Backwards Stinking Mess with New Michigan Adoption Legislation

Confused Michigan Lawmakers Step Backwards in the Name of Support

At the end of April this year, Michigan House Representatives introduced a five bill adoption package deal  that has a direct goal “making the adoption process easier”. Now the original article I saw this morning  was very brief, so I reserved the right to be outraged until I had time to further research and investigate each bill, the full text of the proposed legislation, the current adoption laws as they are in the State of Michigan and the parties behind these bills.

Here’s what I found out.

The Michigan Republican’s seem very proud of their efforts per their “news brief” on these adoption bills.  Based on the literature, they are claiming to “will help Michigan mothers and children” and of course, how could that be a bad thing? The ( more than) five separate and quite complicated bills are being added in to the already existing maze of Michigan adoption laws on the books under the general heading of adoption.  It becomes easy to see how the general public gets confused regarding all the many aspects of adoption and jumbles it up in a happy every after story mess when our leaders are so guilty of the same.

Statements such as “eliminating burdensome red-tape and make the adoption process more efficient while providing children in foster care with added stability and support” easily make the public and politicians and their PR companies  feel good while masking that the new proposed laws are actually geared at making the separation of families easier.

Let’s look at each proposed adoption legislation separately. We’ll examine what the Michigan law makers think they are doing verses what the bill means to the adoption industry.

Michigan House Bill No. 4646

Introduced by Rep. Mike Shirkey  and Kurtz and referred to the Committee on Families, Children, and Seniors HB 4646 would allow for out of court consent and temporary placement in direct (aka private and voluntary domestic infant agency) adoptions.

The bill would also place a 72 hour time limit for the mother to revoke consent for the adoption. That’s three days, folks. Three.  Meaning you can give up your baby and only have three days to change your mind. Of course, everyone who goes through a traumatic experience like finding that they are unable to care for their child can clear their heads completely and be of complete  mind and body after 72 hours.

In Pro Adoption Language:

“Current law doesn’t set a time limit for the mother to revoke her consent.  The 72 hour time limit would give Michigan standards closer to Florida and Texas, two of the national leaders in adoption.”

“The laws currently operating in Michigan make the adoption process very time consuming and tedious for everyone involved,” said Shirkey, R-Clarklake.  “Work must be done to make the process quicker and more efficient to protect Michigan children and give mothers more options when dealing with an unexpected pregnancy.”

What HB 4646 Means in Adoption Truth Talk: We’ll take the most obvious first: Mike Shirkey either has no idea what he is talking about or has been fed a huge glass of adoption Kool aide by the adoption industry if he actually thinks that Florida and Texas are considered “leaders in adoption”. Texas, home to Gladney Adoption Services is riddled with past black market adoptions, civil rights infractions against adoptees, CPC adoption funnels  and is the birthplace of the NCFA- the lobby group for the adoption industry. Likewise Florida’s adoption laws are also horrible unfair to original families as it is a an “adoption friendly state” where even blatant forced adoptions are excused. And how is a shorter revoke time presenting more options for women? Sounds like it’s closing the door to options if you ask me.

In a nutshell the full text of HB 4646 reads rather repetitively, but the overall concept is this: BEFORE any consent to adoption relinquishment forms are signed, the birth family may transfer physical custody of the baby to the prospective adoptive family. This can be either through a direct private adoption placement, or between the agency and the PAPs. The PAPs have to have had a homestudy, etc already.

Now it states that “temporary placement may be revoked by the filing of a petition” and that should this happen “prospective adoptive parent must relinquish custody of the child within 24 hours after being served with an order” and that sounds all well and good until the whole process can be looked it.

As described;  first temporary custody is made. Two days after that a report is supposed to be made to the courts regarding the placement of said child. Then 30 days later, the court wants to see either a petition for adoption or know that the child is back with the original parents.  Now it kind of sounds like it might be (voluntary) foster care placement and could possibly have the goal of NOT having kids in foster care for long periods of time, the bill seem more about direct pre-adoptive placements through agencies or with private lawyers and original families. If after 45 days there has been neither a petition to adopt or a revoke, then the court is supposed to investigate why this adoption is not moving forward. Again, I feel like foster care issues and language is being used to hide and confuse people.

Making it harder to get your baby back in Michigan

Boldly added section 10 of HB 4646, this proposed pro-adoption legislation says that even the temporary placement MUST be filed in court NOT LESS THAN 72 HOURS AFTER THE TEMPORARY PLACEMENT HAS BEEN MADE.

So let’s put this in reality. Expectant mom is considering adoption and is working with an agency or lawyer. She has already “chosen” the PAPs and is being instructed on how things are done. So she has the baby and wants “baby to begin bonding” so she signs over temporary placement to the PAPS asap. Even though she has NOT consented to terminate her parental rights, she still ONLY HAS THREE DAYS to get her baby back physically.

Now in a direct placement, consent to relinquish paternal rights to a child does not have to be in front of a court anymore. Seems that a lawyer for the birth family OR an agency worker can witness the relinquishment consent “release”. Now once she does sign the consent “release”; there is another 72 hour window where she must provide written revocation to the agency or lawyer who took her consent to begin with and THEY are the ones who are to help her file the petition to revoke consent  within 72 hours. Can we say conflict of interest anyone?

There are also provisions where the original parents can waive the rights to “adoption counseling” plus fuzzy language about the biological/ putative father signing ” if known”, plus seems to regulate that the biological family must retain contact including knowledge of physical residence for medical purposes, but the same is not asked of the PAPs, but this part is what sends chills down my spine:

THE COURT IN WHICH THE OUT-OF-COURT CONSENT WAS FILED MAY DETERMINE THAT REVOCATION IS NOT IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.

IF AN ADOPTIVE PARENT OBJECTS TO A REVOCATION SUBMITTED UNDER SUBSECTION (9), TIMELY NOTICE OF REVOCATION DOES NOT IMMEDIATELY RESULT IN THE RETURN OF THE CHILD TO THE PARENT. THE RIGHT OF THE PARENT TO CUSTODY OF THE CHILD IS NOT SUPERIOR TO THE RIGHTS OF THE ADOPTIVE PARENT TO CUSTODY OF THE CHILD.

In other words even if the placement was supposed to be temporary and even if one revokes consent in a timely manner and manages to get it filed by the very same people who wanted you to relinquish in the first place, the court doesn’t have to give you back your baby.

Compare to the Current Laws?

After reading the new proposed legislation, and then comparing it to parts it is deemed to replace 710.44, 710.29 and 710.23d, PA 487 and 1996 PA 409 the very things I HATE about this bill are what has been newly added in. Previously, while consent could be given any time after birth; it HAD to be in front of a judge and court ( meaning mom has to be OUT of the hospital) and there was a mandatory hearing scheduled 7 days after that:

“Consent shall not be executed until after the investigation the court considers proper and until after the judge, referee, or other individual authorized in subsection (2) has fully explained to the parent or guardian the legal rights of the parent or guardian and the fact that the parent or guardian by virtue of the consent voluntarily relinquishes permanently his or her rights to the child.”

Michigan House Bill HB 4647

Introduced by Rep. O’Brien Rep. Margaret O’Brien, and referred to the Committee on Families, Children, and Seniors, HB 4647 will shorten the supervisory period for families adopting an infant under the age of 1 to three months from six months.  This bill takes the place and amends A bill to amend  section 56 of chapter X (MCL 710.56), as amended by2004 PA 487.

In Pro Adoption Language: “As a former social worker, I saw firsthand the many barriers currently in place and the many hoops to jump through for families looking to adopt in Michigan,” said O’Brien, R-Portage.  “Reforms need to happen to make it easier for children to be placed.  This package provides common-sense solutions that will eliminate unnecessary burdens on families trying to adopt in Michigan, and help more kids be placed in loving homes.”

So here again, we have some strong foster care adoption language which everybody loves. Of course, no one wants to see kids stuck in foster care for extended amounts of time. So let’s look at the time limits compared on the current Magician adoption laws and the new proposed bill:

  MCL 710.56 HB 4647 court may enter an order of adoption 6 months 6 months court may waive the 6-month period yes yes court can extend the 6-month period yes yes court may not exceeding 18 months yes yes court may exceed 18 months per section 41.2 yes yes

  Wow. So, while it’s really confusing as it says that the order of adoption must not exceed a n 18 month period in one case, but then can exceed the 18 month period in another case (appeal of termination of parental rights), both versions of the law are EXACLTY the same. How is this going to help all those poor children stuck in foster care who needs to find their forever families?

It’s not.

Because the BIG change is that:

FOR AN ADOPTEE WHO IS LESS THAN 1 YEAR OLD AT THE TIME OF FILING, 3 MONTHS AFTER FORMAL PLACEMENT UNDER SECTION 51 OF THIS CHAPTER, UNLESS THE COURT DETERMINES THAT CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE ARISEN THAT MAKE ADOPTION UNDESIRABLE, THE COURT MAY ENTER AN ORDER OF ADOPTION.

Which REEKS of domestic infant voluntarily placement since every sane logical aware person in the world knows that the children that NEED to get out of foster care are NOT infants UNDER a year old, but older children and sibling groups. The demand for infants is huge and this change in the Michigan legislation clearly panders to the prospective adoptive parents who do not want to wait the extra three months by law before the child is legally “theirs”.  It helps the agencies who want to be able to guarantee placement to their paying customers.

Michigan House Bill HB 4648

Sponsored by state Rep. Kenneth Kurtz,  HB 4648 replaces section 39 of chapter X (MCL 710.39)will ensure that a birth mother will not lose custody of her child to the father during the adoption process.

In Pro Adoption Language: “Increasing the adoption rate is one of the top legislative priorities for the state House this year,” said Kurtz, R-Coldwater and chair of the House Families, Children and Seniors Committee.  “More help, support and guidance are needed for all parties involved in the adoption process so that we can provide Michigan birth mothers with more and better options while at the same time helping children be placed into loving and caring homes.  By providing better possible outcomes we can reassure birth mothers that they will be protected during the adoption process.”

In both cases, in Michigan the court  CAN decide that the court can determine if the  biological father of a child is “fit” enough to care for his blood even if he has appeared at the hearing and requests custody of the child.  His rights CANNOT be terminated if he has “established a custodial relationship with the child or has provided substantial and regular support or care”… “for the mother during pregnancy or for either mother or child after the child’s birth during the 90 days before notice of the hearing was served upon him”.

In Adoption Reality: Sounds like they are trying to keep deadbeat dads from having rights to their children, but in adoption practices as we know it, often an expectant mother, either on her own or often under the direction of the agency, will not tell a father of the pregnancy.  A man cannot support a child that he does not know that he has, so already the law is kind of dicey.

So what the big change? There are two big additions to this adoption law.

The new proposed legislation added that even if the father “HAS REGISTERED IN A TIMELY MANNER WITH THE RESPONSIBLE FATHER REGISTRY”, if he hasn’t provided “support” ( aka he didn’t know) BUT he DID register, he can STILL have his parental rights terminated.

And don’t ask me WHAT a “timely manner” means.  You think they could have spelled that one out a bit more clearly?

The current 710.33 Notice of intent to claim paternity, says that a potential father can claim his paternal rights in court. No mention of the “Responsible Father Registry”. Now, since I know that historically the various state putative father’s registries are all but impossible to find by the average man and even more often most guys don’t even know about them until they are too late, I decided to see how hard it as to find Michigan’s.

It’s not hard. It’s impossible. Because, get this, there isn’t one. Really. There IS NOT a “Responsible Father’s Registry” in the state of Michigan right now!

Seriously.

Now, HB4648 was filed on April 30th and clearly mentions the nonexistent  Responsible Father’s Registry. So on May2nd, Michigan House Bill HB 4661 is introduced that CREATES the Responsible Father’s Registry! But wait, there is more! There are actually MORE ADOPTION BILLS proposed for Michigan in the name of “reform” and HB 4660, 4661 and 4662 ALL have to do with legislating a nonexistent father’s registry. ( and they still do not define a “timely manner”)

But that’s only half. The other change is IF the mother has NOT relinquished her rights, but intends to and the court has decided that the FATHER”s rights are NOT to be terminated and find him good to parent, then they cancel the whole shebang and return the child to the mother. In other words, mothers who sometimes DO proceed unethically regarding the father’s of their babies are no longer in danger of losing the ability to make the final decisions.  No harm, no foul.

So essentially a man can do good diligence and file with  the putative father’s registry, attend all the court hearings, want to raise his own child when the mother does not and the court can terminate his rights or decide that he would be a good parent, but then lose the child to the same mother who attempted to strip him of his child.

And the creation of the “responsible fathers’ registry” for all intents and purposes that I can see, is to make it easier  for the adoption agencies to FIND a father in order to tell him that his rights are about to be terminated, because it certainly does not protect HIM. Father’s Rights Advocates take note. Michigan just raped you.

Michigan House Bill HB 4649 and HB 4650

Basically, I don’t have an issue with what I see on HB 4649  or even HB 4650 as they actually serve as an additional foster parent bill of rights and gives them more information about the children in their care, plus gives some power of investigation. Yawn.  Sponsored by Rep. Kevin Cotter and Rep. Ben Glardon, will create the Resource Families Bill of Rights  and authorize the Office of Children’s Ombudsman to investigate alleged violations of the Resource Families Bill of Rights.

Three Out of Five Proposed Bills in Michigan Support the Destruction of Natural Families

It’s almost hard to believe that these legislators can actually think that they are doing something for the public good with these proposed bills.  With all the “changes” in the new proposed bills actually making it easier for adoptive parents to adopt INFANTS,  it’s clear to see who will benefit from these horrible bills should they become laws: The adoption agencies and adoption lawyers who profit off of the separation of children and families.

Please consider writing the Michigan state reps and pointing out how their steps “forward” are truly not in the best interests of mothers, fathers and children. I am hoping that they are truly just woefully uneducated about how adoption agencies and professionals actually will use these laws in order to separate families for adoption. If we are to believe their sound bites, they probably just got sold a bill a good about the “poor unwanted children” needing “forever families’ and have no idea of the evil they are about to unleash.

Contact Rep. Shirkey:

N-999 House Office Building

P.O. Box 30014

Lansing, MI 48909

Phone: (517) 373-1775

Toll Free: (888) 347-8065 [888 DIST065]

Email: [email protected]

Contact Rep. Kurtz

N-992 House Office Building

P.O. Box 30014

Lansing, MI 48909

Phone: (517) 373-1794

Toll Free: (866) 362-8812

Email: [email protected]

Contact Rep. O’Brien

N-995 House Office Building

P.O. Box 30014

Lansing, MI 48909

Phone: (517) 373-1774

Toll Free: 877-347-8061

Email: [email protected]