I will be turning sixteen in several months and it is really hitting me that I am not a young girl anymore---I still have so much to learn and discover about myself. I know that I have learned so much in my early teen-aged years, and I have much more to learn. I have made my fair share of mistakes, and unfortunately, I have many more to make. I have been through a lot over the years between my father's neglect and my grades. I have started to realize who I can depend on, and who I need to separate myself from. I have come across things I never thought I would love, or do.
I see a lot of posts about love and heartbreak and I wish I can say that I understand it all, but I don't. In my eyes, it doesn't exist right now in this stage on my life. My parents got divorced when I was eight, and it isn't something any child should experience. I go to school with guys who are pigs and assholes. So, my take on love right now isn't wonderful. I just hope that me falling in love won't be terribly disastrous.
Friends. I don't think that I have found that one person that I can depend on and know I will be friends with them. I was living in a world on delusion, thinking I was friends with some of the people I befriended. I was never anti-social---I was and still am different. I hope that in the years to come, I'll make a friend or two that I know I can call a friend.
I will be going to college in less a few years. I have an idea on what I want to do, but it scares me that I won't be able to do it. I am an independent person, but I am scared to know that my mother won't be around that much because I have to grow up, and learn to stand on my own. I know I am capable of being successful, but I am still scared.
In the next year, I have to start making serious decisions, and I hope that I will make the right ones.