#admin: gin

Injuries and my doctors have said that the damage is permanent. I was only diagnosed with this fairly recently even though the accident was some time ago, I’m scared and I’m having difficulty coming to terms with it. (Pt.2) In addition to affecting my daily life, I was told that if I’m not careful I could be paralyzed by the existing injuries. If you have any tips for coping with this emotionally, I’d really appreciate it. Yours, Feather (pt.3)

Máriessë Feather,

I am sorry to hear that you have been hurt so--life is difficult enough without such pain weighing on our bodies. I understand your fear. It is hard to understand how thoroughly an injury will affect you until you are learning to live with your own.

I do not know if this will be a factor for you, but one of the difficult aspects for me was guilt. For example: my family (and my people as a whole) had relied on me in battle; when I lost my hand and my vitality I felt as though I had become useless to that end. It was hard to accept help rather than provide it - I had based so much of myself on the ways I could contribute to my loved ones. I did learn to fight in a new way, but it took some doing and much frustration on my part.

If you must find new ways to work around your injuries as I did, do not be surprised if anger or obstinance plays a larger role in the process than you expect. Relating to your family or to the world in a new way than you did before does not have to be a ‘fault’ or something to bear guilt for.

Another emotion you will have to grapple with is vulnerability. You have been injured once, and your healers have told you the effects could worsen if you are not careful. It is natural to feel afraid of further injury, having already suffered once; the best advice I can give you is not to lose trust in the rest of your body. Heed the advice of your healers, but do not forget that you are more durable than you might expect. There will be some aspects of your injury which you cannot compensate for, but (at the risk of sounding trite) learning your new limits can help you focus on what you are able to do, not what you cannot.

The last feeling I will warn you of is loneliness. I was ashamed and felt as though my injuries divided me from my family and from doing things I used to love--try playing an instrument or drawing a bowstring with one hand!--which took some time to overcome. Do not be afraid to connect with those who care about you, Feather, or to build your skill in hobbies (old or new). It may also help to speak with counselors or with others who have suffered injuries and have a better idea of your perspective.

Working with injuries can evoke a lot of feelings: frustration, embarrassment, depression, even relief, as odd as that may sound... It is alright to feel all of these emotions, even when they contradict one another or seem to have no basis. You are coming to your own terms with injury, not anyone else’s.

I hope you are well, Feather, and that this letter is some small help to you. Please write again any time you wish.

Márienna,

Hello K,

It seems like Shelob REALLY enjoys your asks. They must be like cake to her or something! If you are having trouble with our ask box, you can send us a message using tumblr’s messaging system and Kili will be able respond to you! 

(I don’t trust fanmail, since I feel like Shelob lurks around that particular area as well…) 

Admin Clare

Also - I don’t know if this applies here, but if your message has ellipses with no trailing space (ex. “something...like this”) Shelob will think your message looks very tasty and will likely eat it. If you add a space “so it’s... like this” that can help.

(Ginger 2) went fairly well. My teacher called my partner and I over after class to talk about the project, we thought we did something really wrong and he was mad about it, but he ended up telling us that we did a great job and that he wanted to keep a copy of our PowerPoint to show future classes, as an example. So maybe the late night panic I had was worth it, even though it was really rude of her to spring the work on me like she did... Thank you for your help!!! -Ginger

Hello Ginger, it’s good to hear from you again!

Goodness, it sounds like your presentation went wonderfully! I’m glad that you were able to get some sleep and that you weren’t as nervous about your presentation as you might have been--public speaking like that can be a real challenge. It was indeed rude of your partner to not give you enough notice to do the extra work in good time, but I am glad that it paid off for you in the end. I would count it as an excellent sign that your instructor would like to use your project as an example for future students!

You have reason to be proud of all the good work you put in, dear. Well done! I hope the rest of your studies go just as well in the future.

All the best,

(Ginger 2) but i don't think it was alright for her to just spring all this work on me last minute. I am now afraid that out presentation will go over the time allotted to us and that we will get points deducted for not being able to finish. My partner knows this but doesn't think it will be a problem, and that we can cut the work that i am about to put in out if necessary. it just seems really pointless and inconsiderate of her, but i also want to get a good grade. I don't know what to do.

Hello Ginger, Dori at your service.

First things first, dear: you are allowed to say no! You’re right, it isn’t appropriate of your partner to spring so much work on you at the final hour. It doesn’t matter how much effort she herself is putting in. If this work was so important for your project, she should have mentioned it sooner so you both would have had enough time to finish it.

I understand that you want to get a good grade; I’m sure she does too. But how well you do on this project also depends on how well you understand the material, how much time you spend preparing your work, and in practicing your final presentation. (It’s also important to get enough sleep to make sure you’re well-rested.) The night before your project is due is not the time to be making big changes, and I’m not convinced that this work is so important to make your presentation better if she plans to simply cut it out to keep within the time limit.

I think you should firmly tell your partner no, that it is too late for you to do that extra work (although she certainly can do it herself if she likes). It’s not wrong of you to want to please others or to get a good grade, Ginger, but your partner must be respectful of your time. Don’t be afraid to assert yourself, either--not only was she inconsiderate, but time management is an important part of working together, and it would do your partner good to learn it!

I’m sorry you’re in such an awkward situation, dear, and all at the last minute. I do hope your presentation goes wonderfully, and that you get a grade that shows well for the work you’ve put in. Do write again if you like, I would love to hear how your presentation goes.

Chin up,

We have an anon message in the inbox from someone who is worried about relapsing and worrying their friends. I’m sorry anon, we only have parts 2 and 4 from you. Can you send parts 1 and 3 again? Tumblr just keeps eating messages from our inbox these days :( 

Hello Jake, we got most of your message last night, but tumblr Shelob was very naughty and ate part 3! Can you send part 3 in to us again?