any tips for feeling whimsy and to stop feeling so lonely all the time
Heck yeah, let's do it āØ
Honestly, I think finding whimsy and joy requires more effort than people give it credit for. Not that it's hard to find the magic, but that it's just not encouraged.
Here in the US, and I'm sure many other places, there is a bias against playful/relaxed people. They're not seen as capable, hard working, or intelligent a lot of the time. Because of that, anyone wanting to be seen as smart or diligent might put all their focus onto things that they are told "matter more." They might start to think that joy over small things is pointless or embarrassing, and then they push joy out for so long they feel like they don't know what makes them happy anymore. (I could definitely rant about how biases under capitalism effect people's sense of self, but don't worry I'll stop there lol)
šŖ·So! I'd say if you're in that boat; tip 1 is to try your best to tell yourself, "hey, it's ok to feel foolish, and 95% of the things that I think would make me look foolish are actually totally normal and healthy and great." Cause you're just giving yourself permission to get excited and have fun, it doesn't change who you are or how smart you are. It's not embarrassing to go lay in a field by yourself with headphones on. It's not even embarrassing to get a basketball accidentally thrown at your head. You literally have no control over that, it's just a silly thing that now has happened to you lol. It's important to think about what actually should be considered embarrassing and what shouldn't. Give yourself some grace.
šŖ·Tip 2; it sometimes requires a push. Actually a lot of the time. Sometimes a big push. You find the emotion and just feeeed it, push it, draw it out, pretend, act, have fun, fake it and eventually, you will indeed make it!
For example; babies can be cute, but babies don't stand out to me. I used to struggle so much when people would show me a picture of a baby relative. Cause sure it's a cute baby, but that's just a baby... However now, if I can find any part of me that thinks that baby is cute on some level, even if I'm pretending the baby is somehow related to me, I take it and run! "Aww the cheeks!" "The little toes!" Even just looking at the person with an adoring expression if I can muster one up. Once you give it that push, you start to feel some of that joy. Maybe it'll feel forced or fake at first, but who cares? You're making that person happy and you're making yourself happy too. Eventually, you won't really have to give it that push anymore.
I'd be happy to talk about it more! I wasn't really sure how much you were looking for. I'm glad I could help! Lmk how it goes!
šŖ·Tip 3 and possibly most important to remember; whimsy is everywhere! If you see a particularly round bird, point it out and smile about it. Maybe push that feeling more by thinking about how cozy the bird is puffed up in their feathers. If you do better on a test than you thought you would, even if it's not a perfect score, have a happy dance about it. If you spill something, laugh about it as you clean it up. It doesn't have to be fun or pretty, but that's what you get to try to add to it. Maybe eventually you'll be walking down the street and find yourself noticing a particularly cute baby. Or you'll get a basketball thrown at your head and you'll be able to let your cheeks get red as you laugh it off and even joke about it later that day.
You have to choose how you interact with the world, and most people don't make an effort to enjoy it. The first step is just looking for things to enjoy, not waiting for joy to find you!
