Discord, drunk: *points at Fluttershy* Thatâs my girlfriend, suckers!
Twilight: Your wife, Discord
Discord: My wife! Even better!

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Discord, drunk: *points at Fluttershy* Thatâs my girlfriend, suckers!
Twilight: Your wife, Discord
Discord: My wife! Even better!

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*somepony hurts Fluttershy*
Applejack: *staring at Discord* How is he holding so many knives?
Applejack: I donât want to be Rarityâs girlfriend
Granny Smith: Well what do you want, then?
Applejack: I donât know! I just want to be with her all the time. I want to hear about her day and tell her about mine. I want to hold her hoof and smell her mane. But I donât want to be her stupid girlfriend
*Fluttershy is going on vacation*
Discord: Make sure you eat
Discord: And carry pepper spray
Discord: Youâre cute and ponies do weird things to cute ponies
Discord: And I wonât be there to protect you
Fluttershy: I love you, Discord
Discord: I love you too
Rarity: I donât have a crush on Applejack! Sheâs just somepony I stare at and when sheâs not here, it fucking ruins my day

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Discord: We both look very beautiful tonight
Celestia: You know, if you- if youâd just said I look beautiful, I wouldâve said âso do youâ
Discord: I couldnât take that chance
Rainbow: *crying her eyes out*
Fluttershy: Are you okay?
Rainbow: *wiping away her tears and pretending like she wasnât just crying* Yeah babe Iâm fuckinâ flexinâ
Discord: Hope you get a good nightâs sleep and donât stay up too lateđ You know a queen like you needs her rest đđ
Celestia: You just woke me up you piece of SHIT