*sweats nervously* So uhh… I kind of headcanon that most of the Uchiha brats approach the idea of masturbation with the same enthusiasm that they would approach swallowing Amaterasu with. Also, bear in mind that when I wrote Madara’s, I had his early 20′s, pre-canon self in mind because I just can’t see current timeline Madara having time for something like that when there’s a war and the disputable salvation of ninjakind to plan. That being said, I live for writing filth and this made me happy. Bless you, anon. ~Admin Axel
Itachi doesn’t masturbate very often at all, he’s more the type to ignore his frustrations and throw himself into learning a new technique or completing a mission where he can’t afford to let his mind wander. He’s hoping that by the time he has a moment to himself, his baser urges will be forgotten and he will not have to give into what is, in Itachi’s mind, a last resort. It has to be a pretty intense urge to get to Itachi, because he is very good at controlling himself.
Since he finds it so distasteful, Itachi tends to get it over with quickly and efficiently. Like in the shower, where no one will interrupt and it will wash all the evidence away. And believe me, when you go as long as Itachi does without masturbating, there is a lot of evidence.
Itachi prefers a tighter grip and rubs his thumb along the slit on the head with every upward stroke, because he is particularly sensitive there. The muscles in his legs twitch when he starts speeding up, and he has to put on hand on the wall of the shower to brace himself.
When Itachi comes, his shoulders hunch over and presses his forehead against the shower wall, stroking himself quickly until his cock starts jerking and he releases in his hand. No matter how intense his orgasm is, Itachi never moans - he just kind of pants through it until he can regulate his breathing again.
Shisui can go months and months without masturbating, then go through a period where he masturbates every night for a couple of weeks. It embarrasses him though, so he goes to great lengths to avoid anyone finding out that he even thinks about it. He will not masturbate if there is even the smallest chance of getting caught, even if he’s on one side of the house and someone else is asleep on the other side. He won’t risk it.
Shisui has tried looking at a porn magazine before while he was masturbating, but seeing strangers in such intimate positions made him uncomfortable and he had to shove it aside before he could finish. Instead of throwing the magazine in the trash like a normal person, he burned it in secret and buried the ashes so no one would ever find out he had it.
Shisui will draw it out occasionally. He starts by stripping down to his underwear and sitting against the headboard, palming himself through his boxers. When he’s good and hard, he’ll slide his boxers off and alternate his pace between slow, languid strokes and fast, uneven ones that make his breath hitch. As he gets closer to orgasm though, he slows it down to barely moving and will sometimes even pull his hand away completely, delaying his release for a stronger orgasm.
If Shisui is edging himself, when he comes it hits him like a freight train. He groans low in his throat and every muscle in his body goes rigid, but through some inhuman strength of will the pace of his hand never speeds up - he leisurely strokes himself through his orgasm, building it in intensity until his eyes roll back in his head. When he’s finished, Shisui is boneless and satisfied, and has just enough time to clean himself up before he is out like a light.
Madara has spent his life firmly repressing his baser needs, but every so often it does break through his rigid self-control. When it does it is almost always late at night when he’s lying in bed with nothing else to do, and it annoys him because he has very little control over it. The matter is decided as soon as he thinks about it - his brain starts helpfully providing him with flashes of people he finds attractive in compromising positions and Madara ends up with an erection that can’t be willed away or ignored.
He usually turns over onto his back on his tatami mat, unties the belt around his waist that keeps his nemaki closed and pushes his underwear down over his hips just enough so that they won’t get in the way. Madara has no interest in getting completely naked just to jerk off - he thinks it’s stupid.
Madara is kind of straight to the point about it. He doesn’t try to touch himself anywhere else or ramp up his arousal by indulging in drawn-out fantasies. It’s a purely physical release, and the quickest way to get it over with is to be fast and rough. He spits in his hand, grasps his cock firmly and immediately sets a fast pace, twisting his hand around his length when he reaches the head. He’s completely silent through most of it, but when he gets close to orgasm, Madara starts groaning low in his throat and hissing through clenched teeth.
When Madara comes, he plants his feet flat on the tatami mat and throws his head back against his pillow, his back arching off of the floor. Usually he bites down on his lip to keep himself quiet, but if he comes really violently, he might not catch his hoarse shout in time.
Sasuke is the most prepared masturbator on the planet. He always has to have everything organized beforehand, like tissues and plenty of lube within reach, as well as a damp cloth because it can get messy. He can’t stand the feeling of come drying on his skin, and it’s even worse if he has to get up and go to the bathroom to clean off - walking around with jizz all over you is so… undignified.
Sasuke likes a really tight grip when he masturbates, so he has to coat his hand liberally with lube to prevent chafing. Once properly lubed, he grips the base of his cock hard and slowly makes his way to the head, where he will circle his thumb around the head and smear the little beads of precum that gather there. His head lolls back and he groans quietly, his hips jerking every time his fingers stroke over the sensitive spot just beneath the head on the underside of his length.
He tends to grab onto something when he starts getting close - his headboard, his sheets, or even his own hair if it’s the only thing within reach. It’s a reflex he can’t quite get rid of, he does it without really thinking about what he’s doing. When he orgasms, he strokes his twitching length rapidly, a hoarse groan falling from his lips as he spills pearly ribbons of come on his abdomen. As soon as his muscles stop tensing, he reaches for the conveniently placed cloth and wipes away the evidence before it can dry.
