I saw a screenshot of a tweet last week that went something along the lines of “Washing your sheets is a very risky investment because from the time they’re taken off your bed it’s an unbeatable race against your Executive Dysfunction and the smallest miscalculation will Fuck You Up and result in you sleeping on a bare ass mattress for a week.”
I laughed, liked it, and moved on. That afternoon, having already forgotten the tweet, I washed my sheets.
And now I’m mad because I just remembered that cursed tweet and I’m laying on my bare ass mattress just like I’ve been for the last fucking week. My sheets are right there! Still in my laundry basket! Literally sitting beside the foot of my bed!