He makes me mentally ill :)
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He makes me mentally ill :)

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April | lost 🌻 Every step to loving yourself will ache but it'll be a love worth everything.
help/addvice
I might have just gave the wrong idea to someone who my friend has a crush on and I thought the conversation was over after tonight but he said talk to you tomorrow so I’ve done messed up and i need to correct this tomorrow without being too direct cause I don’t want to do anything to hurt my friend when I know she has feelings for him
hey ghostie. sorry if this is stupid. I'm a beginner in Japanese and I hope to live there soon. what text form should I learn? kanji, katakana, hiragana? what comes first? what do I need to learn or do I learn them all together? what is most used in Japan? much appreciated thankyou đź’‹
Hello! It’s okay, we are all beginners at a certain point of our lives! :D
There is a premise to be made, that is the fact that Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji are used all in the same way, there is not something used less or more. Japanese is actually quite easy to write, it’s the GRAMMAR the real problem.
Onto the specifics.
First of all, I would recommend you to learn hiragana and katakana, which is the correspondent to our normal alphabet. It is useful to start doing a bit of reading and writing on your own. Here there are the charts for hiragana and katakana.
Hiragana
Katakana
Then, when you are feeling confident, I suggest you to practice on kanji. Here as follows two links of the kanji books I studied on, there will be the MF (Mediafire) links to download them for free.
http://yuki-nezumi.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/basic-kanji-book.html
In the meanwhile, look on Amazon, or Ebay, or the nearest bookstore for a good Japanese grammar book. For any question I am here, I hope it helped :3
New Music: Khari Mateen’s “Wishful Thinking” review
   Khari’s highly anticipated album will not disappoint as his audience has waited quite some time for a finished product.  The creative wave he set sail on will lead his audience on a journey through Wishful Thinking along with him.  Though his lyrics whimsically drift from joyous to melancholy, it is a pleasant surprise that the journey is complete and each stop along the way is necessary.
   The intro to the album, which bares the same name, will lead you to believe that you know where the rest of the project is going, but I promise that it’s probably going in the opposite way.  The intro sonically reminds me of lyrics written by Me'shell Ndegeocello over a beat that Lupe Fiasco should have chose for his album “The Cool”!  The pitter-patter space in between the melodies only add to how dark yet colorful the song is, which is a great lead into the ride you will begin.
  The second song on the album, Stuburn, and most certainly my favorite at the moment is a masterpiece.  For those of you missing 90s alternative music as much as I am, this song is like the 2015 soulful version of Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun”.  It’s one of those things you’d have to hear to get and I’m not into spoiling it for you.
   By the time you get to the song Surfer, Khari peels a little bit more the layers of his self. With the beginning of the album seeming so dark, you’d almost forget that he is still a carefree Cali boy, and maybe that’s the point of this project.  Maybe, it’s a reflection of a confusing world  in which all that glitters ain’t gold and the reality of such almost leaves you wishing you left the planet or maybe you were on the wrong on to begin with.
   Which leads me to another great song on this project.  “Out of this world” has the influence of old Negro spirituals set to the beat of your inner self. ..  Deep, Right? ….  I know…. But seriously…. There are probably a total of 20 words in the entire song but when you got the right lines, repetition is crucial as it gains new meanings as the cords progress.
   Over all, I think this a solid project. The cross-genre niche that he dug himself into fits him like an expensive suit and we all know this man looks good in a suit  ;)

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An Open Letter To The Future
Dated 2015
  To the African-American youth of Generation Z and beyond,
   Today I sat in a corporate meeting for 4 hours and as one can expect the smallest portion of the room were brown people.  We went through the history of said company and talked about opportunity in the 1960s, and how a curious kid (white male) was offered a partnership after working for the company for four years and how he is the sole owner in 2015.  He even made a joke about how he tells his extensive staff that he doesn’t take pictures anymore with them because of how big he has gotten.  The point of the meeting was to drive home that we (the company) were a family and that we should be proud of our humble beginnings.
   Later in the speech, he decided to recognize those who have been with the company the longest, and two women (African-American) were there over 50 years.  I asked around trying to find what position they must hold considering their longevity with the company only to find that one is a greeter and the other is a manicurist. I couldn’t imagine why an 80+-year-old woman would want to stay a manicurist after 50 years. Â
   I waited in the parking lot to get some inkling of her life. She wore a bright pink suit and a short wig and was perfectly healthy. She walked to her silver Hyundai and drove off and I felt disappointed. I was disappointed in what the company had to offer someone who has been loyal to the company for 50 years when they offered the world to an under educated white male after 4 years!
   This reminded me about how my great-great-great grandmother was the first African-American woman to work for Avon, and all of the other African-American women who never get their fair representation in the historical account of the workforce. Â
   What were black women doing in the 1950’s thru the 1970’s?  My mind tells me they were domestic workers, teachers, beauticians, entertainers or freedom fighters.  I am told about one-woman entrepreneur, Madame CJ Walker; but do we really know any other scientists, businesswomen, and technicians?
  I let that dwell in my head and came home to several rants about Rachel Dolezal and black face and the young lady physically manhandled in McKinney and the countless memes, and hash-tags that followed.  There are people talking of media distractions, but no one suggesting who is being distracted and what exactly we are being distracted from.  There are no plans.  There is no call to action.  These stories are mere entertainment!  We are appalled with no uproar. Â
   The Rachel Dolezal story is labeled “a distraction” not worthy of commentary! Someone who “mocks” a black woman is not worthy of a story. We are supposedly “making a big deal” out of this!  And it is a reminder that no one cares about the legacy/image of the black woman.  There are no immediate consequences to slandering the mother of all mothers! Rachel Dolezal even had a music video praising her ways by a black man; and yet, it is also labeled a distraction.
   A couple of months back, we saw a Russell Simons skit in which they decided to make a comedy sketch where Harriet Tubman slept with various white masters as a bargaining chip for freedom. The majority of viewers claiming “it’s just a joke” and “there are other things more important to be upset about” made my blood boil.
 Ironically, not even two months after that, Nicki Minaj had the “Lookin’ A** Ni**a” single cover drop with Malcolm X’s face on it and the Twitter community went up in arms!
   Black women have been adopting the feminist/womanist moniker without the historical context out of necessity.  The media is coining BeyoncĂ© to be the front woman of such uprising because it has commercial value and it is a quieter approach to the political sexist arena and the target is OUR black men! Â
   Black men are becoming annoyed with this bulls-eye placed on their heads.  They are so concerned with their image that they pay more attention to “street harassment” video portrayals not noticing the set up!  Black men were lynched for “cat-calling” or even staring at white women in the past 50-60 years, yet some black men have no problem asserting themselves to black women’s’ bodies on the street whom they’ve never met!  We (as black women) should feel lucky that we are even noticed!
   They love to cause confusion!  Notice that black women and men are arguing over the difference between a word-definition!  The media labeled this assertion “cat-calling” with out effectively defining/ educating what the line between showing interest and harassment may be.  What we should have done was define that for ourselves collectively so that we may have better opportunities for black women to feel safe and black men to respectively continue genuine pursuit!
   The “cat-calling” videos targeting black men deserved uproar; it was “NOT” labeled a “distraction” because it targeted the image of black men and the indirect injustice to killing black men for their unjust brute reputation.  This video is connected to why police feel comfortable killing Mike Brown in cold blood! “The image of the black man is something worth the conversation, worth fighting for, worth rioting for, because he was killed.  Such stories create legacies.  We will remember this moment in history!
 The Rachel Dolezal story is labeled a “distraction”; the mockery of black women not worthy of a conversation, not worthy of an uproar!  Rachel Dolezal puts on black face, recreates kinky hair, and it’s a joke! Stories about why a “white-woman” would ever want to be a black-woman, thrive!  The young lady in McKinney, Texas is brutally handled by the police. She was labeled disruptive and rowdy. We are appalled with no uproar. No one wants to see the correlation! She was not murdered. We don’t know her name. This incident will not be remembered and this woman will be a smaller part of the black woman legacy.
  Black feminist are becoming resentful.  Black men are becoming resentful.  Young people are becoming divisive and I am feeling anxious! We are at war. There is mental warfare amongst everyone and warfare amongst ourselves.  There are no victors, no universal leaders, and no universal direction for us to move!
  Please avoid such warfare, practice empathy without belittling pride. Know your history and know what may have been removed and strategically added, and most importantly remember those who fought and died for this knowledge!  Death comes in all forms and “mental-death” and “self-defeat” and “self-hate” is the cost of war. There are mental-veterans around you and bitter ones too; love them the same! Remember their stories. Prevent history from repeating itself.
  -      a concerned citizen
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We have all been enjoying this beautiful weather and what better way to bring in the Spring than with #DocGibbs at the #KimmelCenter tomorrow for #WhoIsSittinIn ? It's always a #freeshow and it's always a good time! Doors open at 8! #queenjo #addvice