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After each argument
After each session of another ugly cry
I find myself thinking about why I did that
I blame myself for not doing what is better
Why am I comforted by the thought that it will never change so I must be the one who has to understand.
Why is that I wanted to let it go even though it still hurts.
In the end, I just cry.
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I can never win but that's okay because once I do, it is either I'm gone or she's gone. So I rather lose every time.
