Records

Creem, 1st March 1977

Queen - A Day At The Races by Billy Altman

(Elektra)

When Queen was first kicking around the airwaves, one was tempted to giggle at, and possibly even enjoy, their heavy metal meets the National Barbershop Quartet Society sound. "Liar" was lots of fun, especially if you were a devout Catholic and it generally appeared that Queen was well on its way to grabbing Jethro Tull's guilt ridden crown of thorns which lan Anderson had blown by showing his true colors once too often via Passion Play and Queen didn't appear to be too serious about all this stuff either. Of course, A Night At The Opera screwed up that notion completely. A good friend of mine who sees AM radio's biggest value as motivator through pain—not so much that you want to drive with the radio on as wanting to get where you're going quicker so that you no longer have to have it on—just loves to throw "Bohemian Rhapsody" on the jukebox at bars because it used to help us all drink quicker so that we wouldn't care if it was on or not. With that album though Queen ceased to be a joke, trading reservations in the pew for a box at the Met. Uh, uh—that's where I get off fella—the Mothers of Invention's "Brown Shoes Don't Make It" was more than enough for me.

So here's A Day At The Races (what's next? Monkey Business, Room Service or Love Happy?) and there's a terminal cuteness about this album that is, to be brutally frank, as sickening as Chastity Bono. La-dee-dah, "I'm A Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy," "You Take My Breath Away," (hubba-hubba) and, oh yes, "The Millionaire Waltz" (did you know that Freddie Mercury buys rare paintings in his spare time?). It does go on. Plenty of music hall bravura—Freddie Mercury as the King Sisters, except that Brian May is not Alvino Rey. Actually, Brian May hardly does much of anything on this album which means that unless you're a rock 'n' roll pansy you're not going to like this record very much (obviously these guys never got their tickets to Suffragette City).

Now that they're such good buddies with us Yanks they think they can throw in a tune like "White Man" (two words; these clown have obviously never read R. Crumb), about the plight of the Indians. Personally, I'd rather have Mark Lindsay's remake of "Indian Reservation" or "Please Mr. Custer" than this piece of "we're holier than you and besides it's not even our problem." But that's not the topper —the last track is "Teo Terriatte (Let Us Cling Together)" (cling, cling, as in static; somebody should have thrown a sheet of Bounce into the final mix), with chorus in a foreign language, Japanese I think. Now on the cover of this mag it says "America's Only Rock 'n' Roll Magazine" so if you want to do something for your country, cut out the last track and mail it to your Tokyo pen pal from high school who you never wrote back to, namely because you couldn't understand their English. Maybe he or she will appreciate it. In fact, why don't you mail them the whole album? And thank you for being an American.

Bonus:

Mail

Creem, 1st May 1977

Incest Is A Family Affair

I just read your article on Queen by Billy Altman and I hated it, in fact, I think it sucked out loud! I have most of the magazines on Queen and I never read a most rotten [Definitely, sic!—Ed.] article. If you write about a group you should build them up, not put them down. I'm not the only one to feel this way so Billy Altman..."Bite My Ass" 'cause Queen is Num. 1!

Mary Beth Barber

Charlotte, N.C.

(You've got a point...they're "num", all right. — Ed.)

Queen, 1976, for A Day At The Races album

Soph this was very very hard and I want you to know that I am suffering

Alright, so I had to do some big research for this but I think I finally got it. The first 2 were a no-brainer for me, but the 3rd.... The 3rd, my G*d..... This was so difficult. Also I'm a big ol' slut for early 70's Queen so I'm sorry if you're looking for an 80s or 90s album but you won't find it here, unfortunately. I'm not very familiar with their later work and havent actually listened to most of it.

This might be controversial but also,,, it's my blog and I do what I want. So without further ado.....

#3

A Day At The Races

This genuinely took me by surprise as a ranking. I kinda didn't want this to be 3rd and I almost ignored my ranking system because I love "Seven Seas of Rhye" and "White Queen" from Queen II **THAT MUCH** However, the sheer iconic status of "Somebody To Love" forced my hand.

Other standouts from this album for me include "Long Away" which is what happens if a chorus of angels became a hippie band , "The Millionaire Waltz" aka Big Gothic Baby where Brian plays violin with his guitar and I swoon and "Good Old Fashioned Loverboy". The Gay Anthem. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

This is the 'crying in the bathroom at 3am' album.

I'm ranking it 3rd but I'm still salty about it cuz I find 'Drowse' and 'Teo Toriatte' too slow, despite beautiful lyricism.

(#White Queen + Seven Seas Of Rhye, sweeties, you'll always be cherished in my heart 💜💜💜)

#2

Sheer Heart Attack

The cover art is kind of bizarre and sweaty but oh boy does this baby deliver. This is the album of EXHUBERANCE, folx!!! This is the "dancing alone in your room dramatically" album. The "Songs You Scream In The Shower" album. This record is tied with my 1st choice for having the most songs I love on it.

First of all??? Killer Queen??? I don't have to explain why that's such a big deal. Magnificent. Killer Queen, Killer Queen, Killer Queen.

Flick Of The Wrist?? The Precursor to "Death On Two Legs" but goes just as hard. It's more suave but just as angry. Maybe a little devilish. Mr. Mercury is here.

Now I'm Here? THAT. SHIT. GOES. FOR. MILES. It's still an absolute banger and if you disagree then tbh what are you doing here.

Lily of the Valley,,, my child,,, the soft and melancholy break we need after all this hype. Brings back memories of Queen I and II. A solid cry song.

Bring Back That Leroy Brown: good rock and roll throwback. Groovy & reminds me of Jim Croce.

MISFIRE. John Deacon wrote a song about cumming too fast and he wrote it WELL. It fucking slaps and it makes me mad but the song is too bangin to care. 10/10.

And lastly. In The Lap Of The Gods. Roger's Siren-wailing comes full force and its fuckin magical. Sounds bizarrely watery on the album version but the Live Version is fucking transcendent, I die listening to it but the magic of Queen brings me back.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#1

A Night At The Opera

Y'all shoulda seen this coming, it's their most famous album for a reason. There's SO MANY AMAZING PIECES OF MUSIC ON HERE. Every human emotion is on this record. Undefinable.

MOTHAFUCKIN '39. UNDERRATED TREASURE. THE REASON FOR MY CURRENT BLOG THEME AND DESCRIPTION.

Death On Two Legs? THE DRAMA. THE ANGER. THE PASSION. BRAVA!

Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon + Seaside Rendezvous were and are the songs that get me through long work days. And Seaside Rendezvous gave this blog it's title! I love how both of these songs sound like a sunny excursion in the 1920s

I'm In Love With My Car. Uhhh. That really exists huh 😂

You're My Best Friend??? THE ULTIMATE 'I LOVE MY WIFE' SONG. Loving John Deacon hours start now and end never. Heartfelt without being too overly saccharine, despite what Roger Taylor thinks

Love Of My Life? Heartbreaking, give me more.

And of course, Bohemian Rhapsody. The song heard around the world. The Crown Jewel of Queen's discography. What can I say about it that hasn't already been said? Just go listen to it again, I promise it's as good as you remember.

TLDR: As long as you can get through Prophet's Song, which kind of drags at times (it's 8 minutes long, fucking hell, Brian) it's an utter masterpiece. 12/10 recommend.

🎶 Any way the wind blows... *bangs a gong*🎶